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Comment count is 28
HarrietTubmanPI - 2009-11-03

Five stars for the ensuing shit storm from conservatives who will see this and not have a shred of a sense of humor.

Oh wait, that's damned near all of them.


John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-02-11

Tragically, none of them were involved in the crash, either.


pastorofmuppets - 2009-11-03

I think they could have done better with this one. But what's awesome is going to be FNC's reaction to it. They can probably stretch this into a month of outrage.


Camonk - 2009-11-03

This worked because it was a joke they couldn't overplay in two minutes.


kingarthur - 2009-11-03

MOre fuel for the conservatives-are-a-persecuted-minority complex. I give Fox ten minutes before they OUTRAGE over this.


j lzrd / swift idiot - 2009-11-03

She didn't even have pig eyes.


James Woods - 2009-11-03

Holy shit, awesome!


citrusmirakel - 2009-11-03

"I made sure the victim was still breathing, or else was Glenn Beck."


Caminante Nocturno - 2009-11-03

We can still hope.

And dream.


mashedtater - 2009-11-03

i recently found out my mother loves glenn beck. she actually yelled back at me," HE IS A TRUTH TELLER."

oh, why couldn't it have been glenn beck?


fourthguy - 2009-11-03

Could be worse. A couple of years ago, I had an argument with my own mom over whether or not the moon is a planet.


pastorofmuppets - 2009-11-03

Who's that really loud wenchbag that isn't Nancy Grace and has a book out now? I'd take her horrific murder over Glenn's anyday.


pastorofmuppets - 2009-11-04

also, this tragically lacks a "tragically alive" tag.


RockBolt - 2009-11-03

'It should have been you' in flowery script


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2009-11-03

She wasn't even a fat Mormon fuckface!


Herr Matthias - 2009-11-03

Breitbart.com was FURIOUS about this, so five stars.


pastorofmuppets - 2009-11-03

http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/bighollywood/2009/11/02/the-onio n-tragic-news-glenn-beck-not-dead/

"In the name of political humor how far are we to go with this nonsense?
How about taking the story of the Somali children that lived thru assaults and then having there hands hacked off put to a "laugh out loud" grade school setting in the Onion producers neighborhood and send it to him via rock thru his window? Would that be "overdoing it"? How about picture of a car jacking in the Onions producer neighborhood in a car carrying his wife and the crap being beat out of her. We won't use real situations and compare, being more humane then the left we'll use actors? Would that make it OK. I'm sure the producer would not think so. What an excretion his life is."


phalsebob - 2009-11-03

That's the good stuff. There is nothing quite so funny as a conservative reacting to a slight, particularly slights that are clearly in jest, with holy fury.


Kumquatxop - 2009-11-04

Oh Onion. I love you so much for this gift.


FABIO - 2009-11-04

About as funny as all the Ted Kennedy cancer jokes.


phalsebob - 2009-11-04

Yes, except that Glenn Beck isn't Ted Kennedy, doesn't have cancer, and (and this is the not funny part) is not dead.


pastorofmuppets - 2009-11-04

Hey, how's life over at Michelle Malkin's blog?

Glenn Beck isn't a politician, he's a TV personality. The standards are quite different for a person who actively chooses the spotlight, and does it by being the unholy union of Ann Landers and Tom Green.


splatterbabble - 2009-11-05

Ted Kennedy cancer jokes are hilarious, so I agree.


Caminante Nocturno - 2010-02-21

The cancer jokes were made explicitly to spite a man for trying to help his country.

This was made in response to Blenn Beck being a weepy charlatan.

There's a big difference there.


That guy - 2010-05-07

All five of these are for Glenn Beck's secretly growing tumor.


Nikon - 2009-11-04

Tragically, Glenn Beck survives and continues his reign of rape and murder, which began on a fateful night in 1990.


Infamous - 2009-11-06

IRS renames itself to "The S" to appeal to younger demographic.


bongoprophet - 2009-11-19

Don't worry people, random chance (or God if you'd like) is working on that fateful car crash.

Remember Jörg Haider last year? It's only a matter of time Glenn!


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