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Desc:SUPER-HEARING
Category:Advertisements, Science & Technology
Tags:Old People, technology, 2000, hearing aid, speak up
Submitted:boner
Date:11/30/09
Views:4145
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Comment count is 15
Jellyneck
I want to buy one of these to inflate my ego. I suspect that all women talk about me and how attractive I am from safely across the room, but now I can finally confirm this. I plan to wear this device everywhere and bask in the anonymous praise I am constantly and secretly surrounded by.
tamago
Hope you have a time machine. That shit's from the early or mid 90's if memory serves me correctly.

Desidiosus
I'd like to see what happens if someone drops a bucket full of pins while you're listening. My theory is your head will explode.

Camonk
Yeah but there's an upgraded version somewhere also on here.

poetry publishing guide
I love when lines are used that would never actually be uttered by a human being-- "He's so good-looking!" (complete with weird syllabic emPHAsis)

phalsebob
Jellyneck is very handsome and has a nice haircut.
detc
It's all fun and games until someone blows an airhorn.

bluiker
1900 AMERICAN WAY
Bindar_Dundat
... Hear grandma's queefs from across the room!
Sacks5thAvenButt
now why would I wanna go and do that. I can listen to my own sitting right here

BHWW
Put it on and hear from across the room: "BOY GRANDAD SURE LOOKS LIKE A DORK CARRYING THAT WHISPER 2000 AROUND, DOESN'T HE?"
"YEAH, IT'S JUST SAD."
Ursa_minor
"YEAH, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT HIM?"

"YOU MEAN HIS CANCER? YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM DID YOU? I HAVEN'T HAD THE HEART TO TELL HIM ABOUT HIS TEST RESULTS YET, AND I WANTED TO HAVE GRANDMA COME INTO TOWN AND HAVE A NICE DINNER WITH HIM - BUT SHE SAID THAT SHE'D NEVER TALK HIM AGAIN AND HOPES HE ROTS IN THE NURSING HOME"

"WHY ARE WE EVEN PAYING FOR HIS NURSING HOME? HE'S NOT GOING TO LAST ANOTHER YEAR ANYWAYS"

"THIS IS TRUE, BUT AT LEAST WE'LL BE ONLY PAYING FOR THAT COCKSUCKER FOR A YEAR OR LESS. IT'S BETTER THAN HAVING HIM STUMBLE AROUND HERE, EATING ALL OUR APPLESAUCE"

"HE SMELLS LIKE A GOAT EMBALMED IN BRUT"

"YES I KNOW"

Sacks5thAvenButt
"I WISH YOU DEADBEAT KIDS WOULD STOP LISTENING TO THOSE ROLLING STONES AND THOSE HOOLIGANS JON BOVI AND LEARN TO RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!"

poetry publishing guide
"He said Italian, Thousand Island, and vinaigrette!"

Earnoculars!
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