|Scrotum H. Vainglorious |
Stick around for dragon twister!
Oh my god his hair...
*anime hand gesture*
I believe that is a flawless victory.
This is a mass of sad cascading into total collapse until finally it's a singularity of sadness.
with an accretion disc of doritos crumbs
Jesus. No one's saying you have to get laid, but at least make it look like you give a shit.
regarding requested criticism:
Stick to one sword so you have a free hand to pull your pants up.
Awww, look at mommy's little ninja in his jammies.
Oh, honey, no.
Fanfic the Barbarian
|Louis Armstrong |
Nothing can stop THE BLOB!!
|Grateful Undead |
Doesn't he know? Doesn't anyone know? Why won't anybody listen?
Swords will fucking cut you right open.
A little slice of heaven from Garden City, Michigan. I personally enjoyed the secret pony tail reveal at :38.
|The Townleybomb |
SWEATPANTS OF DESTINY.
Seriously, how does anybody make it this far in their life without figuring out how to behave like a competent human being? It's the details that really kill me here - the pale chubby build, the flowing greasy ponytail, the matching dragon sweatpants/sweatshirt combo, the obvious anime-inspired antics he's attempting, all of which come together in one gigantic culmination of fail when we discover he has not one but TWO GODDAMNED SWORDS.
A million stars for DRAGON TWISTER, as well as the countless shots of him pulling his sweatshirt down over his rolls of fat.
How can you blame the parents when they aren't even there!
I blame them for encouraging this shit.
Also, White People.
Rev. Blackson Pollock
Parents are definitely to blame here. For not discouraging this asinine behavior before it got out of hand, and for doing everything in their power to protect him from the cruelty and ridicule of his peers that would further condition him not to do something this pathetic, let alone making it widely public. Sometimes the cruelty visited by parents on their children is the only kindness they could impart upon their adulthood.
Rob Liefield had a son?
|Doctor Arcane |
I cant watch six minutes of this. Also, someone get this kid a live blade so I can watch the hilarity.
This is what home schooled kids learn instead of math and science. My friends and I used to make swords out of newspaper and beat each other up with them when we were like 10 years old, but we grew out of it. I also used to pretend I was Robocop.
There is no shame in pretending to be Robocop.
Public schoolkids did the same thing.
Some of them never grew out of it, though.
There is no shame in pretending to be Robocop... IN BED!
"Dead or alive, you're coming with me!"
|Maggot Brain |
One of the transvestites from the last season of Sailor Moon moved to the mid west and got fat.
Pretty much nobody here is going to get that reference.
It was recently revealed to me that my sister's ex-husband used to take his crappy thrift store katana to the park and practice his moves.
I like to imagine that it was not unlike this, except with a black leather trench coat.
This guy needs to be in MUGEN. Right next to Big Al.
|William Batty |
Sure, Dragon Twister and the (BURBLEBURR) Charge are pretty good; but for me the true apex of this video is that sound he makes around 4:41.
Rev. Blackson Pollock
I was reading your comment when he made that sound and lost my shit in my office, my boss thought I was going to die.
|Fur is Murder |
Star Wars Kid for the 2010s.
Mom and dad must have really debated indulging his whole pricey mail order sword thing.
But at least now he's outside getting exercising. Kinda.
Also, 4:25 - 4:38: Is is too much to ask that he get around everywhere just like this? Because seeing that coming down the sidewalk at me would make my whole day every time.
And he is looking forward to your criticism, too.
Even before I started the video, Dale going, "Sh-sh-SHAAA!" got stuck in my head.
oh god the hair
Dragon Twister is good, but for me the Full Charge did it. He went "Full... CHARGE!!!" and I can only think "Man boob.... JIGGLE!"
So how many kids who have swords use them as batons?
5:15 looks pretty fucking devastating. Also what he does with his hands when he doesn't have a fake sword in them is the most interesting to me. The little salute at the end, and the weird little 'swirling an invisible goblet of wine' thing he does at the beginning... What is he going for here? What will happen to him the day he realizes no real person in the world acts like?
Twirling, twirling, sword uppercuts, ballet, twirling...
and then 2:51, the big fat Napoleon Dynamite just says "fuck it" and goes for a home run.
Also, these are literally straight from soul calibur. I saw Cervantes, raphael, and i think hayato from marvel vs capcom 2 (that uppercut thing)
|Caminante Nocturno |
Where are the parents?
Why aren't they stopping this?
There better be a version of this with Ghost Dog music in it on youtube...
black is slimming
Who is filming this?
His sister. Little sister I think, judging from the YouTube profile.
Oh, and don't skip the youtube comments, many of which fail to differentiate reality from MMORPGs.
|Lauritz Melchior |
I see a bit too much crotch bulge from Pillsbury Slow Boy for comfort.
I'd like to think that it's a dance belt.
|wtf japan |
Needs FAT MAN WITH KATANA tag
TAE KWON DOUGH
This has been mentioned before but, seriously, look at that ponytail. Just look at it, jesus fucking christ.
His little waddle/gallop to fetch the second katana
Using the katanas as a walker at the end
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
Try watching this on mute to this:
ok it took me three days to get through all of this.
now it is favorited.
Needs "Heavy Breathing" tag.
The Daniel Songer of swordsmanship.
I like how he mimes sheathing his sword
I like how he waddles over to get his extra sword
I like everything about this
this kid needs a big brother to prevent this sort of thing from happening
If you are feeling impatient skip to 5:00 for the money shot. Pure gold.
|Operation Cornflakes |
What a glorious mullet.
I had to watch this video from the beginning once I noticed his crotch.
Holy crap, it's Wendell from Frisky Dingo
|Midnight Man |
This really is one of those golden finds. The rising action is so great it's almost hard to believe it's not scripted. Initially just a mildly embarassing display, then you get the first sweats-adjustment, then he stops even pretending not to be consciously aping videogames and cartoons by shouting out the names of his 'moves', and then finally it all pays off with "I look forward to some good criticism". Absolutely amazing.
"People Who Liked This Video Also Liked:
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|Son of Slam |
The Louisville Slugger move.
His making a "SSHHK" noise as he mimes take a sword out of its sheath
His almost falling over during the Matrix move.
The hypnotic jiggling of his fat.
And, of course, the pony tail. Just how many times has that thing been yanked?
Easiest boss battle ever.
|Urkel Forever |
|Monkey Napoleon |
this reminds me of a friend of mine who "studied" "kung fu" for a number of years. He used to like to practice in front of people, and the lulziest part of the whole thing was you could tell it was just a dance to him. He was so tubby and out of shape that none of the motions had any power behind them at all... and he was so lazy that all the movements sort of melted together in a fuzzy, indistinct sort of gyrating around.
Then again I know nothing about kung fu.
|Killer Joe |
Boy could join the Cold Steel Demo Team.
|Rape Van Winkle |
Alternate dimension Chris-Chan.
He's going to be disappointed when he realizes the only thing you need to kill a prostitute is a hammer.
Well, at least he's getting some exercise.
As a former fatty, I might be able to shed a little bit of light on this. Some people when they're super fat literally don't know how fat they are. Like the Richard Jeni joke, they think the are "just a few sit-ups away from major stud-dom."
He'll teach your boyfriend some "sword" skills. ;)
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