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Desc:Oh Jesus...
Category:Video Games, Classic Movies
Tags:Tekken, video game movie, iron fist, wheres the fucking panda?, Yoshimitsu
Submitted:Cheese
Date:01/15/10
Views:1392
Rating:
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Comment count is 38
jreid - 2010-01-15
That looks off the fuckin' hizzaay!!!
Udderdude - 2010-01-15
Hollywood will not rest until every single fighting game franchise has been slaughered to appease their dark cinematic masters.
yoyo1 - 2010-01-16
I can't see how this could be worse than the shitty game

Caminante Nocturno - 2010-01-15
They're never going to stop making these movies. Someday, someone's going to try to make a live-action Guilty Gear movie, and it'll be the worst thing ever made.
Riskbreaker - 2010-01-15
It's going to happen, they won't be happy until every fighting franchise has a shitty movie. I can already see the awful cgi for the special powers in the GG flick, some High School musical kid as Sol Badguy, more awful cgi for Potemkin, for Millia's hair.

Also, don't forget Soul Calibur, which i remember Sammo wanted to direct, but the whole thing never progressed. Now an american company has the rights for the film, and if Tekken does "well" in the dvd sales we might see a SC flick in the future.

Candlejackv616 - 2010-01-15
And to think there was I time i thought comic book company s pimped there properties out in the worst way. I have to admit though I was kind ok with everything right up until about .45 into it, then it was like ok legend of Chun li/king of fighters time.

I rather liked the idea of it just being a tournament movie, no linear narrative in the typical sense, maybe quasi documentary style following these bizarre and often insane characters in this silly tournament sponsored by an evil corporation(as is the norm in these sort of affairs). The idea of holding all the fights in a sporting arena is much better than trying to shoehorn in all these improbable locations(or going the Canada substituting for NYC route you could say)to hold all the fights.

Most fighting games have a hard enough time justifying what little story they have or include. All that crap said, Caminate and Riskbreaker are right and one day we'll have everything from a live action Powerstone movie to Primal rage live action film...actaully I think I might watch that if they just went the Ray Harryhausen route with the SFX and were like "fuck it" with the story.

Riskbreaker - 2010-01-15
I shed a tear when you mentioned Power Stone. I'm going to burn my local cinema if that happens.

Ageusiatic - 2010-01-16
I was gonna reply to Jreid on the rating system, until I saw this whole debate. What shocks me is that I thought POE had a totally different rating system, which is like that of any other rating system, except that stars could be awarded for either actual interesting content, or for the viewer's inability to watch it. We need Chet to weigh in and tell us what we're actually supposed to be doing here.

Three stars because it falls in a boring middleground. It's not mainstream enough for anyone to be attracted to it, not stupid and wacky and directed by Uve Boll enough to be ironically attracted to it.

endlesschris - 2010-01-15
This looks surprisingly faithful to the franchise, even the costumes are all straight from the game.

I... don't have a problem with this movie? Looks like it might even be fun.
poorwill - 2010-01-15
Agree with it looking faithful and even respectful to the source.
But it still looks like shit and will be a shitty movie.

Riskbreaker - 2010-01-15
It's going to be an awful movie with the actors just doing a good cosplay of the characters.

RomancingTrain - 2010-01-15
A shitty movie for a shitty game.

hornung - 2010-01-15
the main character is not a panda
phalsebob - 2010-01-15
Something so bad it would make Uwe Boll feel embarrassed. This would be 5 star for evil crap, except that it is an incredibly boring commercial.
Cheese - 2010-01-15
your scale is 5 or 1?

Hooker - 2010-01-15
Everyone's scale is one or five. But don't worry, Cheese. I still understand POE.

takewithfood - 2010-01-15
The typical PoeTV rating scheme:

***** = I fucking love this. / Cat.
**** = It was good, but it was missing something. Like a cat.
*** = I don't actually have an opinion, but I like to appear to.
** = I don't have the balls to one star this.
* = I fucking hate this. / It was anime. / It was not a cat.

Toenails - 2010-01-15
You forgot one takewithfood:

***** = This comment a poster made was spectacular, I will now rate this video 5 stars because I lost all concept of what exactly the stars are to be used for. / The poster who commented is a cat.

And yes, I'm rating take's comment and not the video.

Hooker - 2010-01-15
You both forgot the most common one:

***** - I have no opinion on this.

StanleyPain - 2010-01-15
Come for the terrible trailer, stay for the righteous indignation about the rating system.

Camonk - 2010-01-16
Since people just throw out stars however they want, and they always fucking have, this is one of the stupidest things to get worked up about.

Toenails - 2010-01-16
Really Camonk? Getting worked up about the rating system is the stupidest thing?

You fucking idiot, don't you know that getting worked up about getting made fun of for getting worked up about the rating system is the stupidest thing to get worked up about????

Goddammit, go die in a Taiwanese restaurant, you stupid ass-munching gunge-tosser!

Raggamuffin - 2010-01-16
This doesn't have a cat in it.

oogaBooga - 2010-01-16
Except that one star can also signify "this has a cat in it", depending on the level of the commenter's (a) douchiness or (b)love of fucking dogs.

Hooker - 2010-01-16
Speaking of getting worked up about something, who is getting worked up about something? I thought we were just joking around.

B_Ko - 2010-09-28
Ta da!

ztc - 2010-01-15
So this isn't going to be about an evil corporation spearheaded by Satan that lets a malfunctioning Russian warbot fight in a tournament with kangaroos and dinosaurs? Fuck that.
CornOnTheCabre - 2010-01-15
to be fair, this is only THE FIRST Tekken.

also, I'm with endless. this looks like some 80s-style, weapons-grade mindnumbery, and I don't know what the hell else you'd expect out of a Tekken movie.

CornOnTheCabre - 2010-01-15
ps: apparently the devil shit will definitely play a big part in the movies

revdrew - 2010-01-15
This is not nearly as bad as I was expecting.

I'm disappointed. But not nearly as disappointed as I will be if they don't fit a fucking panda in there somewhere.
snothouse - 2010-01-15
"TITLE TRACK PERFORMED BY SICK PUPPIES."
Camonk - 2010-01-15
I like how every one of these dumbass games has to have some big important background besides "dudes fight each other for some reason." So now the shitty movies do, too.
FeeFiFoFoTheFifeFifeBrown - 2010-01-15
Yeah, I expected so much *more* from a Tekken movie, you know?

...
William Batty - 2010-01-15
Lion's not enough of a smart-ass rich boy.
Billie_Joe_Buttfuck - 2010-01-15
Okay, this could be Street Fighter bad.
Dr Dim - 2010-01-15
It would be one star but cung le's in it.
nemeses9 - 2010-01-17
Where's King? Where's the Ken Masters ripoff with the three foot tall blonde hair? Where's the indian chick? Where's sexy Hehatchi?

Oh well. After "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li" I can never bring myself to sit through a movie based on a fighting game again.
Billy the Poet - 2010-04-26
They thought enough of the, "I guess I should be more in control... Like you," line to include it in the trailer?
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