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Desc:Demonstrates it to his wife on Oprah
Category:Classic TV Clips
Tags:Ebert, oprah, Roger Ebert, vajazzling, voice
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Comment count is 50
voodoo_pork - 2010-03-03

Robert DeNegro - 2010-03-03
That's because the reading of the will keeps getting pushed back.

Frank Rizzo - 2010-03-03
.....when the fuck did this happen to roger ebert!?

I had no idea!
kingofthenothing - 2010-03-03
I had no idea he had a black wife, either.

ASubmarineSandwich - 2010-03-03
I knew both of these things. I win the regional title of Roger EberTrivia Master!

But seriously, read this recent article in Esquire: http://www.esquire.com/features/roger-ebert-0310

If anything, it completely replaces pity with admiration regarding Ebert's condition.

kiint - 2010-03-03
apparently Ebert had no idea he had a black wife either

Enjoy - 2010-03-03
Was he color blind or how did he not know?

Desidiosus - 2010-03-03
I thought that was Oprah at first.

Spit Spingola - 2010-03-03
That computerized Ebert voice is pretty neat.
chumbucket - 2010-03-03
two thumbs up....waaaaaay up
Hooper_X - 2010-03-03
Wow. That looks really uncomfortable.
Mike Tyson?! - 2010-03-03
Yeah, that Macbook must be burning the shit out of his balls there.

THA SUGAH RAIN - 2010-03-03
She also said they eat in separate rooms. Because eating for him is absorbing vitamins and minerals through a hole in his stomach and eating for her is... different.
memedumpster - 2010-03-03
He eats through Quato now.

Syd Midnight - 2010-03-03
Cobra Commander had that problem too. He once made Destro retch when he barged in on him eating spaghetti. True story..

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2010-03-03
Christ, I haven't seen a picture of him in years. I didn't realize it was that bad :(

augias - 2010-03-03
That's what he gets for giving Pootie Tang two thumbs down, ok.

ItsAboutTime - 2010-03-03
"Ain't that something?"
Can't wait for the code to leak so we can read out random IMDB user reviews with his voice.

ps.: I guess his option is better than dying. Still, poor guy. Just a reminder to enjoy your life (and body) every day, everything can be taken away.
Camonk - 2010-03-03
Thanks for explaining the moral, you Lifetime Original faggot

eatenmyeyes - 2010-03-03
He should license it for just that purpose.

chairsforcheap - 2010-03-03
i'm really liking your new direction, Camonk

ItsAboutTime - 2010-03-03
Just trying to feel good about having a jaw here...

The Mothership - 2010-03-03
Why is this linked with the pubic rhinestones? I see no vajazzling here.


Enjoy - 2010-03-03
I thought vajazzling was replacing a body party with something new and sparkly but I may have the definition wrong.

oswaldtheluckyrabbit - 2010-03-03
Enjoy is correct

Redlof - 2010-03-03
I prefer the term 'vocal bling'

The Mothership - 2010-03-04
Fair enough, you sold me.

Camonk - 2010-03-03
Huh, I should probably see The Hurt Locker.
mon666ster - 2010-03-03
Sorry, but whenever I look at his face, I think the only noise coming out of it should be an extremely loud banshee like scream.
Rev. Blackson Pollock - 2010-03-03
I think he looks like a ventriloquists dummy.

boner - 2010-03-03
His voice is made out of DVD commentary tracks. How awesome is that.
MaulLove - 2010-03-03
That is pretty appropriate and awesome.

oogaBooga - 2010-03-03
oh man.. roger...
Cleaner82 - 2010-03-03
Guy lost his entire lower jaw, he eats through his stomach, and he steadfastly refuses to be a fucking sadsack.
Syd Midnight - 2010-03-03
I'd like to point out that Roger Ebert's power comes from being the most obsessive movie nerd ever, and caring very deeply about what other people say about movies. He is a 21st century hero.

Jeriko-1 - 2010-03-03
Its a shame they couldn't hook him up with a spiffy headcage like Trap-Jaw from He-Man.
petep - 2010-03-03
or some kind of prosthesis, or some steel bones, or, jesus, anything but that

Princess v2.1 - 2010-03-03
He doesn't want to go through surgery again. (!) Fuck that, give me the goddamned prosthesis.

Syd Midnight - 2010-03-03
Building yourself hydraulic claws etc would require lots of spare time, and Roger Ebert has movies to watch. He might need a bionic ass if he lives much longer though.

Syd Midnight - 2010-03-03
ps. IMHO the best method of facial hideosity obfuscation is a cheap plastic halloween mask, except for all the times the police will be taking it off then putting it back on you.

charmlessman - 2010-03-03
He's giving his wife the, "AHH AHH?!?! What do you think?" face.
Caminante Nocturno - 2010-03-03
I want someone to replace that program with a copy of Vocaloid. I want to hear his review of Transformers 2 in Hatsune Miku's voice.
Syd Midnight - 2010-03-03
Trivia: At first Stephen Hawking hated his voice's American accent, but now he refuses to upgrade it to a more modern synth voice because he's had it for so long, that's just how the Hawk rolls.

Unmerciful Crushing Force - 2010-03-04
Look Cammy, if you want a review in English, you gotta go with Ruka. I know, it sucks but Miku's voice just can't handle the complexity of Roger Ebert.

Riskbreaker - 2010-03-03
I gladly welcome our new robot-movie critic overlord.
phalsebob - 2010-03-04
I'm glad he beat the cancer.
KillerGazebo - 2010-03-04
I can't watch old episodes of The Critic anymore. It begins with a view of the World Trade Center and features a now dead man and a now robot-zombie as frequent guests. It's really depressing.
ShiftlessRastus - 2010-03-04
Anyone who follows him on twitter knows that he still talks too much.

Also, he's "Half human, half cyborg".
Harveyjames - 2010-06-23
Yar, you gave Roger Ebert a nickel! He'll be dancin' for hours!
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2010-09-27
Soon, we'll be able to get programs like this for our computers that read text in famous voices. I'll take the James Earl Jones.
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