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Desc:Us liberals are too dumb to realize that God is RIGHT THERE in the Constitution!
Category:Religious, News & Politics
Tags:for the record, Douchey McDoucherson, Molotov Mitchell
Submitted:Yellow Lantern
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Comment count is 34
Camonk - 2010-03-13
Oh shit the Virginia thing convinced me. Virginia is obviously the best state.

Also basically using a really stupid version of St. Anselm's already stupid argument. This guy is modern conservatism.
Maggot Brain - 2010-03-13
StanleyPain - 2010-03-13
Yeah, I heard that Thomas Jefferson is no longer considered a founding father to these people since he's the one that was most vocal about separation of church and state. I imagine once one of these morons gets around to figuring out that pretty much all of the founding fathers agreed with him, the list of TRUE founding fathers will be whittled down to a handful of slave owners somewhere who once wrote a letter to the first congress.
BorrowedSolution - 2010-03-13
That's alright, Christians have plenty of experience with altering history to suit their needs (See; Jesus). Also, they don't seem to realize that a lot of founding fathers were deists, not theists. To me, the "creator" referenced in the declaration of independence looks like a catch-all term for "wherever you believe you came from". Hell, your creator could even mean one or both of your parents.

cognitivedissonance - 2010-03-13
They idolize Thomas Paine... which won't last long until they get to his part about being an actual atheist in a pond full of deists.

Camonk - 2010-03-13
The Texas Education Board is minimizing the impact of Jefferson. I didn't really get why at first. Christ, I'm a dumb liberal.

Syd Midnight - 2010-03-18
Jefferson also edited the New Testament to make it just about Jesus' teachings without the woo-woo and magic tricks, which he felt distracted people from the basic good philosophy of Christ.

Of course that's not going to go over well among people who only care about woo-woo and magic tricks, and don't want to be anything like Jesus.

themilkshark - 2010-03-13
WTF does "your rights come from God" mean? Their argument is pretty flimsy when they point out that the Constitution lists our rights as "life, liberty and pursuit of happiness." Yeah, people shouldn't die because they are poor.

StanleyPain - 2010-03-14
It comes from a vast ignorance of American history. The phrase "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. " has been constantly distorted by people like this to mean that the founding fathers were in love with Jesus, despite the fact almost all of them were Deists which is a far cry from the evangelicals of today. The funny thing is that the phrase is in the Declaration of Independence NOT the constitution, which doesn't feature any references to God whatsoever.

Even better is, of course, the fact that the American colonies essentially began as people wanting to escape the tyranny of a church/state hybrid. But, again, ignorance of history is the Olympic sport of these tards.

Syd Midnight - 2010-03-18
The colonies were founded by the kind of Puritans who thought Oliver Cromwell was not Protestant enough.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2012-07-19
OF COURSE the Declaration of Independence says all rights come from God! That's because it's a declaration of independence. It needs to claim a higher authority than the British Crown.

Fuck you, buddy.

phalsebob - 2010-03-13
Wow. Moral philosophers have been tackling this issue for 2500 years, and he sewed it shut in two minutes. I bet they feel pretty sheepish right now.
pastorofmuppets - 2010-03-13
My two cents: as long as we start with the premise that rights come from somewhere other than our own democracy, it will be hard to reconcile their existence. If God gave them to us, then whose? Do they exist in nature? I doubt it... everything is survival of the fittest there.

If we're going to attribute them to some outside force, then the best one might be "stable equilibrium." They've been around long enough to be more than just a good idea, and societies with them appear to better off than societies without.

But that's too bleak for me. I like to think that they come from good people's work. I define good as the opposite of evil, and evil as Molotov Mitchell. I'll cite as evidence his frequent appearances at the PORTAL of evil.

frau_eva - 2010-03-13
They are our rights because they create a better, just society as a whole. It improves the lives of not just the individual, but for the greater justice for society. They are our rights because it maximizes the amount of good

Education is a right because, dear GOD, could you imagine how far we'd sink if everyone wasn't guaranteed one? You'd have virtually no social mobility, voting would depend on the illiterate and ridiculously ignorant masses, and we'd at best slip into a plutocracy.
Speech is a right because it does the most good for everyone to not restrict it even when its unpleasant--and it is infact restricted when it does immediate harm, such as libel or yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theater. Rights serve both the people and the nation.

phalsebob - 2010-03-13
There is enough to say on the subject to fill a hundred books. But I will agree that rights are created and enforced by humans. Turds like this guy and Glenn Beck might disagree, but it is still their opinions that contribute to our society's formulation and enforcement of human rights... which is very unfortunate.

pastorofmuppets - 2010-03-13
Exactly. They are justified well enough by their utility. There's no need to look further. And if he wants to get technical, technically he has them because he is a natural born citizen of a country that signed them into law. He's playing semantic games.

But let's grant that he's not. Let's even grant that we live in a bizarro-USA where the Declaration of Independence is considered federal law.

...it still only says "AMONG THESE," asshole.

pastorofmuppets - 2010-03-13
phalsebob we crossed streams. But yes it's a question for the ages. I'm stating my opinion, but I believe it to be a logically consistent one.

ashtar. - 2012-07-19
I'll agree with Bentham for once, natural rights are "nonsense on stilts". People may have a 'right' to free speech, but they were still getting killed for speaking against The Man for pretty much all of history. That is, until they set up legal and enforcement mechanisms to protect that right. This is why these political institutions are important, and why fighting tooth and nail against people that want to take your rights away from you is important. People like these people.

pastorofmuppets - 2010-03-13
Liberals are also too stupid that the right to bear arms only applies to bears.
pastorofmuppets - 2010-03-13
* to realize that

Neurotic - 2010-03-13
Yes, the declaration of independence is the same thing as the supreme law of the land. What?
Riskbreaker - 2010-03-13
High caliber trolling right there.
ashtar. - 2012-07-19
I concur.

My theory on successful trolling is that you should make an annoying argument badly. Maybe add a dash of hypocrisy. "As the communist son of a rich man, I know what's best for the poor even if they're too stupid to realize it themselves."
This will get a whole bunch of people rushing in to point out the obvious flaws in your argument (and call you a fag).

And, I think that this video is an excellent example of making an annoying argument badly

IrishWhiskey - 2012-07-19
This is regularly posted on World Net Daily. A popular site for the combination of conspiracy theorists, racists, and hardcore Christian fundamentalists who consider Fox News far too liberal. And this guy has been making literally theocratic videos since he's young.

It's not trolling. Sure, they enjoy annoying liberals and non-fundies who watch it since they think it validates their beliefs; "Them bad. Them think me bad. Me must be good." But it's sincerely believed by those making and watching it.

oddeye - 2010-03-13
This is the first one of these that has actually caused me to enter an enraged state.

My strength and consitution values have been raised appropriately.
Zarathustra00 - 2010-03-13
Of course you'll suffer from fatigue when that rage wears off.

Stars because I had to stop it when miss hands on hips started speaking.

voodoo_pork - 2010-03-13
You know, whenever I start to feel calm and unnecessarily pleasant, I can always come to Douchey McDoucherson to refill my hate tank.

Best part: it's a renewable resource!

FUN FACT: I was blocked by the guy for violating PoE's Prime Directive, announcing on his YT channel that he was the Douchiest Douche that Ever Douched. Live and learn!
TimbolinoBilchard - 2010-03-13
You know, Romans 13:1-7 talks about all authorities being appointed by God and how you should obey them. So if you follow that logic, then then Founding Fathers were appointed by God to found this nation. And so were the Romans from Paul's time. And, just maybe, so was the Supreme Court in Roe v. Wade.
Syd Midnight - 2010-03-18
God appointed Chet

kwash - 2010-03-13
"Even an idiot could get it."

god i wanna put my fist through his brain
phalsebob - 2010-03-13
"Even an idiot could get it," or "it's just obvious I don't have to explain it" and the like are statements almost always made by people who have an opinion but can not even conceive of ideas outside of their own headspace, thus you must be dumb for not holding their opinion.

I agree that punching his brain could only help.

Son of Slam - 2010-03-13
"not in the Constitution OR the Bill of Rights"

What a savage dumbfuck. Also, this atavistic throwback seems unfamiliar with the 9th Amendment, and what its implications are.
Udderdude - 2010-03-13
lol america
Johnny Madhouse - 2010-03-18
They added a loincloth to Da Vinci's anatomical study.

Are these people twelve years old?
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