Now, remember to open the bag before attempting to pour the coffee beans into the filter that is in the coffee maker that is on your counter. If you do not have a counter, any flat, level surface will suffice.
...I'm honestly not sure if this is a parody or not. Considering the ridiculous amount of times I've seen parents give their tiny children coffee(and always the most ridiculously sugary and pretty darn caffeinated ones) and then let the little bastards run free in the store.