Comradery, Family, Love...and Meth, lots and lots of meth.
Extra invisi-stars for DJ Clay and Sugar Slam, what the fuck else are they known for outside of these informercials?
RIP Ass Dan, 2010.
|Scrotum H. Vainglorious |
They're holding seminars, people.
17:25! Seriously? Why do they make these so long?
Sorry, this made me want to list everything that happens. It's kind of amazing.
hehe, the first YouTube Ad is "Online High Schools".
Man watching this makes me feel like a High School Math Teacher, one who clearly doesn't understand what is with "these kids today".
I'm glad they showed the part where their make believe car ran out of make believe gas. Something that happens to every Juggalo.
Oh man, the list of the "comedians" around 5:00 is possibly the saddest thing ever.
OK, I'm sorry, but "Ill E. Gal" is a really great rap name.
How can Juggalos all have listened to different types of music? Is there a tent full of nerds in clown make up doing covers of They Might Be Giants?
Why do I love the voice over guy swearing so much? My favorite part of these videos every year is hearing the guy say "Mutha Fuckas". That and "Helicopter Rides".
How does their car work when they pick up the hitchhiker? It looks like they're drifting for 20 seconds.
The pitch for Flashlight Wrestling is possibly the only thing that sounds kind of fun.
OK, all my stars are for the trailer for their western. That looks amazing. Especially the part where they had AK-47s in the wild west.
Anybody here actually ever meet a juggalo/juggalette in real life? I did a few weeks ago. It kinda blew my mind after seeing all these videos about them. She seemed nice enough, but that could have been the E.
Testicles of Doom
I've known a few, but nothing "serious" like the ones you see in any of these videos.
I watched all of this damn thing, and the only thing even close to "Rock" was Hed PE, and that's a fucking stretch.
Even though, I was impressed by the lineup of classic wrestlers, and they got some real rappers in there, even if they are names from the 90s. But really, how else is Naughty By Nature going to play before (an estimated) 10,000 people?
I do have to hand it to them, they really tried to did up lots and lots of entertainment for their target demographic. Flashlight wrestling at 4 am?
There's a lot of them in Oklahoma. I think it goes hand-in-hand with poverty, a corrupt and failed public education system that cares more about the PTA and Jesus than actually educating students, and of course wide-spread inbreeding.
They all live up to the stereotype, and proudly. The ones that don't smoke meth smoke pot, and the ones who aren't skinny are morbidly obese.
I've never met one, but I routinely see one walking up and down one of the main streets by my house. How do I know he's a juggalo without ever having met him? Because not only does he always wear an ICP shirt, but he also rocks an enormous, silver ICP medallion.
MacGyver Style Bomb
Just your typical middle-class white kid so trying to be street and tough. Thing is, they're so deluded, they actually would try to start some shit and they're so dumb that they wouldn't know when they're over their heads.
Rape Van Winkle
When I was younger, I read an account from a man who'd studied gorillas his entire life, before seeing a wild one for the first time, in West Africa.
Of course, he knew everything about gorillas, and he'd worked with them in zoos and labs. But on seeing a big male alive in the jungle, he was nearly at a loss to describe his awe. He said later, "I never thought you could be walking around, and just see one." He experienced a sense of kinship, and realization of the awesome humanness of what he was looking at. He said he felt a desire to call out, or communicate with it, in a way he'd never felt with any other animal, or any captive gorilla.
Of course, he let it be and it went on its way. If he had called out, the gorilla might have taken him as a threat.
This is exactly what I experienced the first time I saw a juggalo.
I thought they lived on the internet.
It's like a more dangerous version of if I ran into Chris chan at the grocery store.
Is Andrew W.K going this year too? Juggalos need to know how to PARTY HARD!
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Too bad about Andrew W.K. as the juggalos need him more than ever.
Gallagher, uggg. I had fond memories of him from his cable specials in the 80s but now he's just a crusty old fuck who needs to go hide under a rock.
Reminds me of the other one. In both cases, my favorite thing in they always talk about the 'magic' and 'friendship' and shit going on in these. It's just bizzare.
A big letdown compared to the previous year, as there will be no:
Love train hay rides
DUDES ON STILTS
NINJAS JUGGLIN' FIRE
And of course
( http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=63414 )
Also, you have to love the talent. It's either people who are likely to be contractually obligated to show up, or people who are really just glad to be working.
It's like a tornado hit the trailer park and a 250lb Dorothy wakes up in Oz and follows the brown gravy road but ends up just fucking stopping in the poppy field.
|Goethe and ernie |
Anybody Killa is an amazing name for a rapper.
Is Method Man actually playing?
"All them fucking pussy jokes" - I'm sold!
The way it keeps cutting back to the uglier-than-average but prettier-than-the-average-juggalette girl in the car while she shouts about how excited she is about these muthafuckas.
Tila Tequila? OK, fuck it, I can't even add anything to this any more, all my stars, take them now.
5 stars for whatever soul-crushing realization Sugar Slam experiences then tries to suppress at 5:05
hopefully bryan danielson and tone loc will become best friends and this won't have to go down in history as the worst thing to happen to the planet
i'm happy for dayton family.
|Doctor Arcane |
Todays rappers like Xzibit and 50 realize it's best to be shot in the streets, before you grow old and are forced to perform at Juggalo Gatherings for faygo covered white people.
Anthrocon, Uni-Tea, POE-News reunion, and Gathering of the Juggalos all happening simultaneously.
You only have one zeppelin filled with mass murdering gas.
I couldn't make that decision.
Sooo... what I'm gathering (ha) from this is: all of the ICP family and most of their fans will all be in one place at one time? In a place called Cave In Rock? Would be a shame to lose Slick Rick and Method Man, but if you wanna make an omelet...
Too self-aware for five, but a solid four for some of these names.
ILL E. GAL
Sugar Slam's swearing makes me think she's some sort of robot spy who was sent to them but is having trouble learning the mannerisms. Then again, there's probably nothing more awkward in this than their attempt to make Gallagher sound cool..."YO THE ORIGINAL"
Dammit. First they take Tech N9ne away from me, now Brotha Lynch Hung?
Well at least Mr. Hung will be able to school the audience on how to make a rap persona effectively disturbing.
I'm shocked Above The Law are involved with this.
"No corporate sponsorships"
Gee, that's amazing. I'm sure it's by design and not because no one's willing to link their company's name to grown adults who wear clown makeup and sign rap about stabbing babies and drinking the blood.
In a perfect world this would be headlined by Tom Jones.
are we ready for a "fake driving" tag?
why oh why do they feel the need to spend so much money for these infomercial things? If the Juggalo community doesn't know how "bomb" this event is then they likely aren't Juggalos. It's like a motherfuckin miracle.
White people and washed up rappers unite!
Ron Jeremy has fallen on hard times.
"It's fast becoming world-renowned for its uniqueness."
Whoever wrote the copy for this had to be in on the joke. Come on.
Oh, and not to mention THE FAMILY'S COMING TOGETHER
YOU WILL PROBABLY GET LAID
|Rum Revenge |
This all seemed so delightful until I realized it had nothing to do with jugglers.
Get rid of the ICP, their fans, and all of the shitty related groups, and this thing would almost be worth going to.
I want to get Big Money Rustlas, get piss drunk and howl my way through the entire thing. I'll give them that.
Five stars for brilliantly evil corporate exploitation.
|Cockmaster Flash |
Will Tila Tequila be running one of the seminars?
I need a gif of 9:08
Dude, I think they composited those short shorts onto Sugar Slam at around 7:00. Anyone else notice?
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