Poll: Is this actually judged? Do people sit around voting on porn? Is the reward simply purchased? I need to know this.
i would guess there's voting conducted by the most unimaginably grimy cadre of hairy, gold-chain rocking, sweat stained wifebeater and fadeout shades wearing san fernando valley porn kingpins.
after she sucks their cocks, of course.
Jesus. Can you imagine what the room they do all the heavy decision making must smell like?
Our entire civilization is built on blowjobs.
It should be mandated that every award show speech be this one, recited verbatim. Go off-script, no award.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
Hey Sandra Bullock, TAKE NOTES FROM THIS.
I remember reading a story of someone who went to one of these things and he said that both saddest and most hilarious moments in his life were experienced at this event. They were when he saw a porn starlet outside crying because she didn't win the best anal scene award.
my friend was watching this over my shoulder and said "she's doing god's work. how do you think her parents feel?"
also i'm retroactively reassigning my five to the house guitarist who is on point enough to rip a little whistle riff after she says "i love sucking cock" at :35
such grace, such depth of character, she.
|Frank Rizzo |
another one posted here had a chick crying with joy in here speech.
David Foster Wallace's essay "Big Red Son" is all that comes to mind.
Most honest thing I've heard in ages.
|The Townleybomb |
I love sucking cock, too, porn lady.
|Billy the Poet |
Ya gotta do whatcha love, kid.
Oh that kind of oral! I thought this was going to be for a debate award or something.
|Harold Manchester |
I think I could really take home the trophy if there was a category for receiving oral sex. I'm so good at accepting blowjobs.
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
Did anyone else notice that one of her co-stars was named "Arnold Shwarzzenpecker"?
|Shanghai Tippytap |
FROMMMM SEAAAA TOOO SHIII-NIIIING SEAAAA
The DFW essay that several people have mentioned:
I read that whole thing and was shocked and dismayed to find that the author had never heard of Dr. Dirty.
Well miss, I'll be the 'judge' of that. *Finds torrent of movie*
|Syd Midnight |
The acceptance speech no politician has the guts to give
James Cameron ripped this speech off.
I'm pleased that a room full of producers and stars of porn isn't particularly impressed by a lady thanking them for letting her suck their cocks.
It's the same kind of polite applause you hear at a regular job when one of the employees of the month is voted employee of the year and gets a set of crystal shot glasses or something.
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