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Desc:Read all about it: Don't ask-don't tell repeal pisses off the Jesus!
Category:Humor, Religious
Tags:Snake Oil, don ask don tell, bird die-off, fashionable christians
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Comment count is 27
Ocyrus - 2011-01-11
Can we take media access away from retards, please?
Ghoul - 2011-01-11
If you hate the LGBT community so much lady, why do you dress like a Transgendered woman?
Hammer Falls - 2011-01-11
I thought the preload image was Eddie Izzard for a second.

Robin Kestrel - 2011-01-11
Yeah, I saw the little thumbnail on the front page and said "Eddie Izzard! Cool." But, alas, just another nutter.

Zarathustra00 - 2011-01-11
So when God chooses to let a nation know that he's upset with a specific action they have taken God waits an indeterminate period of time before choosing a trite occurrence to use as a sign?
Innocent Bystander - 2011-01-11
He also killed some birds in Italy and elsewhere in Europe because... gays.

voodoo_pork - 2011-01-11
Only crime against nature I see here is that jacket.

godot - 2011-01-11
This is an Amy Sedaris skit. This must be an Amy Sedaris skit.

Toenails - 2011-01-11
Ghoul - 2011-01-11
This God rose from the Dead, and during Armageddon will annihilate all that stand against him by uttering one word.

That's the future though... Today, he'll kill a few flocks of birds randomly in a display of his righteous anger. This should send a clear sign to the entire human race that he not only exists... but that he's totally pissed off.
Triggerbaby - 2011-01-11
So you see, Arkansas, if you would only stop being so nice to gays, God wouldn't have be forced to kill your blackbirds.
citrusmirakel - 2011-01-11
You win.

charmlessman - 2011-01-11
GOD: Excuse me, birds?
BIRDS: Yes, Lord?
GOD: Well, I have some bad news. It seems the Americans are allowing gays into the military now.
BIRDS: Oh no! That's awful! What are you going to do about it, oh Lord?"
GOD: Yeah, about that. Ever heard the expression, "take one for the team"?
Konversekid - 2011-01-12
This is silly; birds cannot talk. To God they may as well just be flying disease vessels.

Mother_Puncher - 2011-01-11
So apparently God was fooled by DADT and didn't know gays were serving in the military until the repeal so his answer was "NOPE" and killed some birds in a state where no gays are allowed even though he has the power to do literally anything.

God is a spoiled 14 year old kid with a Limp Bizkit CD and every time he gets mad, he goes to his room and blasts "Break Stuff"
simon666 - 2011-01-11
This I like.

Riskbreaker - 2011-01-11
Then he plays some Halo online, and eats a bag of cheetos till dawn.

TeenerTot - 2011-01-11
This woman is a cunt.
Udderdude - 2011-01-11
Are you sure the birds aren't just hiding in her hair?
fluffy - 2011-01-11
You should never ask Don Tell anything. He's full of shit.
phalsebob - 2011-01-11
How do these birds' deaths relate to Xiphias bird related posts? Is he stealing their souls?

Hey... I'm just asking a logical question.
cognitivedissonance - 2011-01-11
I like the "Abu Dhabi Weather Machine Mad Science" explanation better.
godot - 2011-01-11
If the folk of Beebe, Arkansas want to know what killed their birds, they should look in their own neighborhood. There's a 10+ acre abandoned (judging by the algae growth) catfish farm/sewage impound 2 miles southeast of their town. Check whether its full of arsenic (from chicken CAFOs etc) before you blame the Almighty.
Caminante Nocturno - 2011-01-11
It looks like she's dressed in a spearmint gum commercial.
Big Muddy - 2011-01-11
fulakarp - 2011-01-11
Our God is a Cryptic God.
Urburos - 2011-01-12
He obviously didn't know gays exist, or he wouldn't have taken on the responsibility of watching our world crumble to dust.
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