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Desc:Read all about it: Don't ask-don't tell repeal pisses off the Jesus!
Category:Humor, Religious
Tags:Snake Oil, don ask don tell, bird die-off, fashionable christians
Submitted:simon666
Date:01/11/11
Views:986
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Comment count is 27
Ocyrus
Can we take media access away from retards, please?
Ghoul
If you hate the LGBT community so much lady, why do you dress like a Transgendered woman?
Hammer Falls
I thought the preload image was Eddie Izzard for a second.

Robin Kestrel
Yeah, I saw the little thumbnail on the front page and said "Eddie Izzard! Cool." But, alas, just another nutter.

Zarathustra00
So when God chooses to let a nation know that he's upset with a specific action they have taken God waits an indeterminate period of time before choosing a trite occurrence to use as a sign?
Innocent Bystander
He also killed some birds in Italy and elsewhere in Europe because... gays.

voodoo_pork
Only crime against nature I see here is that jacket.

ZING!
godot
This is an Amy Sedaris skit. This must be an Amy Sedaris skit.

Right?
Toenails
WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE REDWING BLACKBIRDS????
Ghoul
This God rose from the Dead, and during Armageddon will annihilate all that stand against him by uttering one word.

That's the future though... Today, he'll kill a few flocks of birds randomly in a display of his righteous anger. This should send a clear sign to the entire human race that he not only exists... but that he's totally pissed off.
Triggerbaby
So you see, Arkansas, if you would only stop being so nice to gays, God wouldn't have be forced to kill your blackbirds.
citrusmirakel
You win.

charmlessman
GOD: Excuse me, birds?
BIRDS: Yes, Lord?
GOD: Well, I have some bad news. It seems the Americans are allowing gays into the military now.
BIRDS: Oh no! That's awful! What are you going to do about it, oh Lord?"
GOD: Yeah, about that. Ever heard the expression, "take one for the team"?
Konversekid
This is silly; birds cannot talk. To God they may as well just be flying disease vessels.

Mother_Puncher
So apparently God was fooled by DADT and didn't know gays were serving in the military until the repeal so his answer was "NOPE" and killed some birds in a state where no gays are allowed even though he has the power to do literally anything.

God is a spoiled 14 year old kid with a Limp Bizkit CD and every time he gets mad, he goes to his room and blasts "Break Stuff"
simon666
This I like.

Riskbreaker
Then he plays some Halo online, and eats a bag of cheetos till dawn.

TeenerTot
This woman is a cunt.
Udderdude
Are you sure the birds aren't just hiding in her hair?
fluffy
You should never ask Don Tell anything. He's full of shit.
phalsebob
How do these birds' deaths relate to Xiphias bird related posts? Is he stealing their souls?

Hey... I'm just asking a logical question.
cognitivedissonance
I like the "Abu Dhabi Weather Machine Mad Science" explanation better.
godot
If the folk of Beebe, Arkansas want to know what killed their birds, they should look in their own neighborhood. There's a 10+ acre abandoned (judging by the algae growth) catfish farm/sewage impound 2 miles southeast of their town. Check whether its full of arsenic (from chicken CAFOs etc) before you blame the Almighty.
Caminante Nocturno
It looks like she's dressed in a spearmint gum commercial.
Big Muddy
In the year TWOOOO-THOUSAAAAND!
In the year TWOOOO-THOUSAAAAND!
fulakarp
Our God is a Cryptic God.
Urburos
He obviously didn't know gays exist, or he wouldn't have taken on the responsibility of watching our world crumble to dust.
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