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Desc:In which a stereotype channels his grief for his dead son into a burning hotrod. No, I'm serious.
Category:Video Games, Humor
Tags:final fantasy, Final Fantasy XIII, why are they fighting racecars?
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Comment count is 31
Quad9Damage - 2011-03-22
What the... WHAT!?

This is probably way better without context.
RocketBlender - 2011-03-23
Everyone here is way overanalyzing this clip. I submitted it for a pretty simple reason:
*whine whine cry*
*whine cry cry*

FABIO - 2011-03-22

First off, nice run, dork.

Then, fire whoever did the foley for 5:53-6:10.
ASubmarineSandwich - 2011-03-22
My girlfriend worked on the executive side for the game testing and marketing for this game. She sat in on every interview with the alpha and beta testers.

One of the questions was "Were there any characters you enjoyed? Where there any that you did not like? Were there any that you were offended by?" or something to that effect.

In regards to the "offensive characters" part of the question, every single black game tester thought that the character of Sazh was awesome and saw absolutely nothing offensive about him, and were in fact glad that a person of color was being given a major story arc and a badass-ish persona that wasn't completely alien from black culture.

In fact, every single complaint of Sazh being a racist stereotype came from a white person.
CJH - 2011-03-22
Can someone explain why anyone would think Sazh is a stereotype? Because he has an afro? I've only seen part of this game, maybe in the second half he starts going on about how much he loves watermelon or something, but from what I saw he was the only believably human character in the whole game. Barret was a stereotype because he looked, talked and acted like Mr. T.

WHO WANTS DESSERT - 2011-03-22
Not that I don't agree that the allegations of racism are bogus, but saying "In fact, every single complaint...came from a white person" implies that the only reason people care about racism in media is to quiet a vocal minority of complainers, and that's a really shitty thing to think guy.

StanleyPain - 2011-03-22
I am so glad I never bothered with this game. I had held out a tiny inkling of hope FF13 might be cool and that maybe Square had dialed back some of their ridiculous bullshit to make a more solid, classic JRPG, but jesus...
Eroticus E - 2011-03-22
Dialed back? This game is entirely comprised of the ridiculous bullshit. If they could have shipped it without any gameplay at all, they probably would have.

NineEleven - 2011-03-22
*Shoots self in head*


Da da da daaa da daaa da da daaaaaaa...
Nikon - 2011-03-22
God damn it. If only square could make a decent plot to go with all this pretty cgi ...
Zhou Fang - 2011-03-22
Does this game beat the Bouncer's ratio of 10 minutes of gameplay for every hour of cinematics?
cognitivedissonance - 2011-03-22
The white chick's name is "Vanille"?
RomancingTrain - 2011-03-22
Lighting, Snow, Hope, Fang, Vanille, FFXIII had really terrible names in it.

FABIO - 2011-03-22
Is there some 10 minute speech on how his dead son loved cars? WHY IS SO MUCH OF THIS GAME FOCUSED ON RACE CARS?

Clueless Japanese attempt to appeal to Americans?
gmol - 2011-03-22
Looking at the battle control system makes me feel like I am imagining what battle control systems might look like in the future, 15 years ago.

Also I wish instead of "sugar and rainbows" he used "flowers and sausages".

Quad9Damage - 2011-03-22
I think these cutscenes beat Xenosaga's for the title of most insane. I'm pretty sure I just saw a Transformer come out of a man's chest and then turn into a race car, which the man then jumped in and drove.

Also I heard this game is nothing but 100% linear dungeon crawling for its entire length.
Dirty Sanchez - 2011-03-22
Early PS1 jRPGs used to have a 'Twilight Zone' appeal to them. The developers knew their demographic was growing up and they tried to make games a bit more complex in story.

Square lost the people that made FF6 and Chrono Trigger, so all that's left is this crap.

FABIO - 2011-03-23
Where did those people go? Because they sure haven't made anything decent since then.

Portaxx - 2011-03-22


Square has gone so far out of its way to unlearn everything they figured out from FF6 and Chrono Trigger. Chrono Trigger had 7 characters with developed backstories, and those stories were revealed through the gameplay as you traveled to different eras yourself. You got to help them out by solving puzzles and fighting certain bosses. As a result, you actually cared about them enough to want to see Lavos defeated. Going to different eras also gave you nice little insight on how their world worked, and the story was one you could actually FOLLOW.

Then they decided "nah we don't trust the audience enough to let them discover the world on their own. We should just have each character spend 45 minutes explaining their motivations!"

BorrowedSolution - 2011-03-22
Your enjoyment of Chrono Trigger actually made me enjoy it a little less. 5 for you.

CJH - 2011-03-22
real talk, why nerds gotta front like those old games were so deep and mentally fulfilling? we liked em cuz they were fun

RomancingTrain - 2011-03-22
Developed back stories!

Silent Gohan recolor
Girl with glasses
Generic princess
Cave woman
gloomypuss with long hair
and a knight who, get this, looks like a frog!

Portaxx - 2011-03-23
I guess I should have added "their backstories were developed enough to make them fun (which is as developed as they needed to be) and they weren't meant to be deep," but I assumed that it was a given that everyone knew that. I was wrong :(

oddeye - 2011-03-23
For such a seasoned internet vet you made one hell of a rookie mistake.

Quad9Damage - 2011-03-23
Frog had a fairly developed back story. The other characters were mostly focused on during their sidequests near the end.

Riskbreaker - 2011-03-22
I wish i could join the hate party, but more than "horrible" this game is just boring. The story is filled with characters you don't give a damn, you even need to read dozens of pages of "background info" to actually understand what the hell is going on, but again, not that you will care.

This is not Xenosaga bad, Xenosaga believes all it's theological fan-fic bullshit is super serious business, and truly has some of the most annoying characters ever featured on a video game. FFXIII is just mediocre, flashy crap that nobody is going to remember enough to even hate in the future.
TheSupafly - 2011-03-23
Western society really has taken over the game market hasn't it?
oddeye - 2011-03-23
You can be black and japanese you racist fuck.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2011-03-23
Yeah, it's totally dominated by Western society. That's why there are no games featuring bad, overwrought dialogue, J-Pop, characters with hair colors that are usually only seen in paint stores, and an over reliance on style over substance.

Especially on Nintendo and PS3, who recently moved their Corporate HQ's to Nebraska.

dead_cat - 2011-03-23
That game looks about as fun as one of those gimmick movies where the audience has to vote every five minutes on what the characters do next.

It has less gameplay than one of those too.
Influence Device TIMR - 2011-03-25
video games

who cares, one star
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