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"Eye" witness news, geddit? Or should I say, "EyeWITless"!!
Well that's upping the ante from the tired old "Got your nose" trick.
(golf clap) Fine jab, sir. Fine jab.
Am I the only one who wants to see this kid grow up to from some kind of Metal band?
I want to see him grow up to have eyes that his father didn't eat, but I guess I won't get that.
too evil. D:
"Well Frank..." *puts glasses on* "...the eyes have it."
When you're eating eyes, don't put salt on them. Don't put salt on your eyes. Put salt on your eyes.
This is sort of something that I simply refuse to believe actually happened. That is all. This did not happen and I don't want to acknowledge it.
Yeah, I'll bet he's a whole lot quieter. That poor little boy is going to need years of therapy.
"He was such a good dad until he ate my son's eyes. But you know, he was good up until then."
"...He was arrested 23 times before this"
no one could have seen this coming
Can we bring back the burying one up to the neck and covering the head with honey? Just this once?
HISTORY FACT: In ancient Korea eunuchs were ritualistically castrated by covering their genitals in feces and then letting a hungry dog have a go at eating them.
Who is this "daddy" and what did he do?
I see what you did there.
This guy had a prescription for medical marijuana.
It was probably that.
This is like a Reefer Madness clip come to life.
Don't judge this guy too harshly. Apparently that kid's mom is a sentient, telepathic foot.
For more we take you now to this eyewitness foot, found on the scene.
That guy sobered up and had one of the most shameful shits of his life.