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Desc:Haven't had any Yahtzee in awhile
Category:Video Games, Educational
Tags:white people, zero punctuation, Yahtzee, best of, 2011
Submitted:Dr Robot
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Those darn driverless cars!
Comment count is 45
Meerkat - 2012-03-04
I usually like toilet humour but it actually got old really quickly in this one.

Kind of a like a toddler that yells "POO POO" every two minutes all fucking day because their parents laughed the first time they did it.
Xenocide - 2012-03-04
He sure likes to talk about jizz.

chairsforcheap - 2012-03-04
hahahaha holy shit it's non stop... can everyone who ever took him seriously please suck my jizzdick now so i can jizz cum into your jizzing orifice. He's so hardcore the music is rad it's like it's epic meal time also he talks fast hahahah awesome i love unhappy british people who wear fedoras like stupid cunts

Sputum - 2012-03-04
I consider myself sort of a worthless video game nerd but I haven't played a single one of those games. This is what adulthood is. It's not as bad as I expected, really.
themilkshark - 2012-03-04
Yes, I'm with you. I used to pay attention to every video game release but dropped off at the beginning of the current generation of systems, I have to work for a living and I spend my free time kissing my girlfriend now. It's still fun to hear this guy rip apart crappy video games that I know nothing about, confirming my assumption that I'm actually not missing anything when the only video games I play load in my web browser.

Dr Robot - 2012-03-04
Wow themilkshark, pretty extreme there. It's possible to have some balance in life. You can have more hobbies than just kissing your girlfriend and if you play video games, it doesn't have to be every single one. I play Battlefield online (Yahtzee refuses to rate multiplayer) and yet somehow still have time left over for my wife and even my career!

VoilaIntruder - 2012-03-04
I can't play games anymore because I spend most of my time kissing themilksharks girlfriend.

Caminante Nocturno - 2012-03-04
The harder you try to sound like an adult, the more childish you end up appearing.

Adham Nu'man - 2012-03-04

themilkshark - 2012-03-04
The harder you try to not sound pained when someone mentions their girlfriend, the more lonely you end up appearing.

StanleyPain - 2012-03-04
Remember, if you play video games, you're not an adult.
Good thing I spend my evenings reading Proust and drinking chianti.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2012-03-04
I'm too busy to play games because I spend an awful lot of time wiping fecal fluids from my face after performing analingus on my girlfriend for hours on end.

memedumpster - 2012-03-04
You read Proust, you n00b! Emerson pwnd Proust and he's not even indie.

twinkieafternoon - 2012-03-04
themilkshark is only so successful with the ladies because he uses performance-enhancing hugs.

Void 71 - 2012-03-05
Adulthood is not being able to afford a video game habit and not really caring.

themilkshark - 2012-03-04
5 stars for the suggestion at the end.
Caminante Nocturno - 2012-03-04
He's absolutely right about realistic shooters.
Kabbage - 2012-03-04
Not his best work.
Hooker - 2012-03-04
That fucking intro music never, ever grew on me.
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2012-03-04
I'm guessing his previous method of putting whatever pop song he wanted over the opening and closing credits would have eventually attracted the attention of RIAA lawyers.

StanleyPain - 2012-03-04
I don't have a problem with realistic shooters per se, but rather the breed of realistic shooters designed specifically to cater to socially broken weapons nuts and people who have massive pro-war boners and hate basically everything exotic or foreign, but are too chicken shit to actually sign up for the military.
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2012-03-04
I started on FPS's that were in the Doom and Duke Nukem era, and the so-called "modern" shooters are kind of puzzling to me with the "hide and regenerate health" mechanic along with the "infinite mooks that are only 'defeated' permanently once you move past where they're spawning from" mechanic. They seem to make the whole thing less of an accomplishment when you "win."

Riskbreaker - 2012-03-04
That's because he's not relevant anymore. Not to mention how painfuly predictable he is with some of his picks, and reasons behind said picks.
Dr Robot - 2012-03-04
He's relevant enough. I know what he likes and have an idea where my taste and his align, so I can trust him for specific kinds of recommendations and now know I'll have a blast playing Driver: San Francisco when it's at a bargain price. His schtick is getting a little old... the price of being prolific?

Dr Robot - 2012-03-04
Shit, forgot to say that he's relevant to me because I don't follow new releases well enough to know what picks will be predictable. I wasn't aware of the Driver game he mentioned until the review. Who do you trust for video game recommendations?

chairsforcheap - 2012-03-04
the price of being prolific? Dude. Go read an actual book you complete fucking waste.

Anaxagoras - 2012-03-05
Ummm... being predictable isn't a bad thing for a reviewer. It means their tastes are consistent & they're not assigning scores just to be contrarian or attract interest. (see: Armand White)

Having said that, this wasn't one of his better efforts.

themilkshark - 2012-03-05
Home console video games are niche market, so I don't know how "relevant" you expect him to be without straying from the subject at hand.

Riskbreaker - 2012-03-05
Predictable as in "i'll blast these super popular FPS games and pick some less-popular game for my best of the year" The guy is more concerned with his celebrity status among "gamers" instead of actually trying to do real reviews anymore.

sosage - 2012-03-04
MW3's multiplayer is about as "realistic" as themilkshark's "girlfriend". I don't like the content or the story or the gung ho propaganda but the multiplayer gameplay is pretty gawd damned fun. It's cardinal sin here, however, is that it is popular?

TSR - 2012-03-04
I get the impression that Yhatzee isn't the best at competitive multiplayer games

TSR - 2012-03-04
(possibly also girlfriends)

twinkieafternoon - 2012-03-04
Certainly not as good as themilkshark. That guy's awesome at girlfriends.

Konversekid - 2012-03-06

themilkshark knows that to be good with a girlfriend it's necessary to not have more than one of them.

chairsforcheap - 2012-03-04
stupid people mistake a british accent for comedy.
Caminante Nocturno - 2012-03-04
chairsforcheap is so jealous of Yahtzee that it drives him insane.

NewHeavenSalesman - 2012-03-04
you don't need a slut girlfriend to know that gamer humor blows

(8-bit harmonica)
Void 71 - 2012-03-05
My favorite part of this video were the fart noises.
poorwill - 2012-03-05
All you need to know about Yahtzee:


Make sure you check out the drinks menu.
riedquat - 2012-03-05
oh God

Meerkat - 2012-03-05
What the fuck is a Little Big Boner

Caminante Nocturno - 2012-03-05
Oh my god, these grapes are so sour!

fatatty - 2012-03-05
I thought the Jizz Cannon was pretty funny.
MrBuddy - 2012-03-05
*sets down popcorn & applauds*
Thanks for the comments everyone, you guys are awesome!
sasazuka - 2016-03-04
I'm a little late (by 4 years), but, yeah, DRIVER: SAN FRANCISCO was fantastic fun, and I do like driving games but I'm not that nitpicky about physics... I never drove any of these cars in real life so I don't have a baseline to compare them to. In any event, I know the jumps are unrealistic, but a game where you smash up the front end after leaping the first dirt mound whilst playing a Dukes of Hazzard-inspired mission wouldn't be very fun now, would it? Besides, most of the game is set in Tanners' head (not a spoiler, it's the basic premise of the game), so the game having arcade driving game physics is easily excusable.

The one qualm I had with this game was the invisible walls at the edge of the roads but it's really something you only notice in a couple of jumps.
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