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Desc:The latest Adam Sandler monstrosity
Category:Classic Movies, Horror
Tags:Andy Samberg, adam sandler, Please god stop!
Submitted:Hammer Falls
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Comment count is 53
Why do people keep giving him money?
Too disgusted to remember stars.

Because shit movies like this make ridiculous amounts of money. I bet if you took any 'Top 100 Movies of All Time' list this movie would gross more than the majority of films on it.

Grandmaster Funk
This is a comedy?

Not even a smile. Not even one.
Jet Bin Fever

Yeah, no shit.


Rodents of Unusual Size
Child endangerment! Parents so bad their children are taken away! Alcoholism! Laughing at severe throat injuries!

People who laugh at this...actually I'm probably related to a few of them. Ugh.

Actually it's implied that his son wasn't taken away from him. "He moved out when he turned 18" which means that he raised him to adulthood.
DAMN IT! I had to watch this trailer twice now!

It's like they tried to make Big Daddy 2, but accidentally grabbed the cameras that film in Retard-O-Vision.
Saying it's an accident implies that they cared either way.

Little Nicky does his Al Pacino impression.
This is like someone vomiting into every orifice I have.
Odd. Now I want a Budweiser.
This would have been an awesome *insert name of any director and/or producer not presently associated with this crapfest* movie.
That guy
This would have been an awesome Merchant-Ivory movie.

I feel like they owe ME laughs.
Prickly Pete
Or the Whitest Kids U Know. I gotcha. I gotcha.

Prickly Pete
This was supposed to be a reply to OxygenThief's comment below this. It's too hot today...

Andy Samberg!
Sandy Amberg!
Angie Sanders!
Ambly Andberg!
Bergly Sanders!
Sandy Sandbirds!
Sal Amanders!
This made me chuckle. Sandler's profits from this film are rightfully yours.

Ha ha a child got punched in the face.
This went beyond simply being unfunny to genuinely pissing me off with its sheer unfunniness.
Spaceman Africa
People said Uwe Boll had nazi gold to fund his movies, i'm sure Adam Sandler has a mind control device to attract people, or is this all it takes to be a comedian now?
Jet Bin Fever
Two words: Corporate sponsorship.

If Jack and Jill cost 80 million to produce this must be the most expensive movie ever made.

I'm picturing them fitting Mountain Dew and Wendy's into the script sixty-five times.

It's probably going to be #1 at the box office, anyway!
Hammer Falls
Maybe not #1. There's a red band version for the trailer, as well. So, this one might be rated R, which will cut out most teenagers from watching it... and the adults who show up for it should be euthanized.

MacGyver Style Bomb
Don't forget that this Sunday is the Razzie awards. "Jack and Jill" has a good chance to make a sweep in every single category.
I rolled my eyes when people said Knocked Up was secretly anti-abortion with it's "keep the unwanted baby at any costs" clumsy plot device but now I just don't know what to think.
Caminante Nocturno
I can't wait to avoid watching this movie.
As Michael J. Nelson would say: "Now this is a movie to NOT see again and again!".

Adam Sandler has started to make me rethink the whole 1st Amendment thing.
Seven Arts/H8 Red
"At a Medium Pace: The Movie!"
American Standard
Because when an adult woman fucks a male child, it's hilarious and he's a stud.
Poignant and a synergy in message and user name, have some stars.

Caminante Nocturno
Somebody needs to do a version of that part with the genders reversed.

Hey, how much worse can he get? It might be his next project!

"He was the perfect landlord... she was a tolerable land lady... until he met (RECORD SCRATCH) her daughter!

SANDLER: (childish voice) LOVIN DAH BOOTAY!

This summer... Adam Sandler... Chloe Moretz...


Get Nymphed June 2013.

That should have been "tenant" but I just woke up and fucked it all up.

Rodents of Unusual Size
So this is what leads to the end of civilization per the Mayan prophecies. I knew something beyond horrible would set it off.

I haven't made this many noises of complete disgust since Jack and Jill.
The perfect review!

I'm really starting to think the only way this is going to stop is if somebody kidnaps Adam Sandler and surgically removes anything that might allow him to communicate further movie ideas to another human being.
Also, this needs another George C Scott edit.
I was very surprised when there wasn't a record scratch at 0:24.

You know, when teens impregnate their teachers in real life, the situation gets tons of news coverage and is generally considered not funny in the least bit. Sandler has apparently decided that it's the height of hilarity.

The ONLY good things I can see coming as a result of this movie are a possible "Half in the Bag" review and a "How Did This Get Made?" episode.
I feel like I've already watched this before. Did the teacher who birthed Andy Samberg not age at all? I'm surprised they're not throwing her in a fat suit so she can awkwardly seduce grown manboy Sandler. Shit, I should have wrote this garbage.
Adam Sandler and Happy Madison are currently producing a comedy film adaptation of "Candyland", as in, the board game.

I thought you'd all be delighted to know that.
Rodents of Unusual Size
You know what is candy colored? Peptobismol. I'm going to invest in some.

Have I somehow accidentally browsed over to the "men's right" subreddit or something? Of all the things posted on this site, there seem to be a number of people legitimately mad about the retarded plot of this movie.
It turns out pedophilia is really gross.

Why is it so shocking that people are upset by a movie whose every plot point is genuinely disgusting or deeply disturbing?

statutory rape isnt funny. period.

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