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Desc:It falls flat
Category:News & Politics, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:fat, not funny, trayvon martin, george zimmerman, lead balloon
Submitted:blue vein steel
Date:06/24/13
Views:2637
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Comment count is 45
Caminante Nocturno
Well, he's going to prison.
Change
Good.

1394
I guarantee it.

baleen
On the other end, the prosecution's opening was fucking solid platinum.

cognitivedissonance
He gets shivved in the yard or he gets shot in the street.

Dude is going to die regardless.

Change
I like to think that the only way he can really and truly save his life is to admit that his action was in fact racially motivated, to allow himself the opportunity to be sequestered with the corrupt police and pedophiles doing a 25-to-life sentence in effective solitary.

I like to think this because I him to suffer in ways that don't take his stupid bigot life.

Also because I am a rage-faced bitch whenever his name comes up in conversation.

kingarthur
That may well be his only saving strategy.

cognitivedissonance
He's not smart enough to take it. He's possessed by racist ego and the conviction he done been wronged. He hired a guy named "O'Mara" because he fears Jewish lawyers.

baleen
I have a margin of sympathy for Zimmerman. I think he's a stupid paranoiac who didn't mean to kill the kid. Based on the evidence I have seen, at least. I believe he should be charged with voluntary manslaughter and reckless endangerment and he should serve around 10 years in prison.

Throwing him away for life based on the evidence that has come out is excessive and overly vindictive. But fuck, I won't cry about it if he is.

Bort
I don't hope that Zimmerman gets convicted; I hope the court does its job correctly. Granted, based on everything I "know" about the case I think he's guilty as fuck, but then again everything I "know" comes from the same media that still reports outright lies in the interests of not offending either side of a controversy (where "controversy" is defined as anything that offends either side of our red/blue dichotomy).

If Zimmerman had stalked and killed a white kid named Travis Martin, this case never would have received national attention, because there would have been no controversy: Zimmerman was way the hell out of line and was looking to provoke a fight. But change white Travis to black Trayvon and suddenly Zimmerman's got supporters.

Gmork
dont worry 1934, I got it

Raggamuffin
If he'd hired a Jew at least the jokes would be better.


I can't bear to subtract a star, but I wish he'd waited for someone to say "Who's there?"

Jet Bin Fever
Tip: If you need a disclaimer before a joke that is longer than the joke, don't make the joke.
Xenocide
You fool. This is a bold new style of comedy. We're entering an era where a joke isn't a joke unless it's preceded by a rambling, insecure pre-apology that goes on forever.

As usual, the greats saw this coming long before any of us did. I saw an old Richard Pryor special the other night. It was a 90 minute performance, and he spent 89 minutes of it awkwardly apologizing for the one joke he told that night, which he delivered just before leaving the stage. It was about a farting dog. I wept with joy.

Adham Nu'man
Link please or name of special.

SteamPoweredKleenex
How can anything that Richard Pryor did be considered "new" today?

Prickly Pete
Well that went as well it could've possibly went. Nobody from the audience yelled "What the fuck was that??" so I guess it was a semi-success.
Caminante Nocturno
Take a close look at the people in the background. They're not saying it with their mouths, but they're still saying it.

chumbucket
He's paying for this lawyer. Haw! Haw!
giygusattack
Don't worry, plenty of people contributed to his legal fund, they support this man whole-heartedly.

#WishIWasJoking

themilkshark
Zimmerman clearly got the kind of lawyer he deserves.
StanleyPain
BUT TRAYVON MARTIN ONCE SAID "FUCK YOU" TO A TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!

WHY ISN'T ANYONE TELLING THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!1111
baleen
HAVE YOU HEARD OF SOMETHING CALLED MARIJUANA?
HOW ABOUT GANGSTER RAP MUSIC?
DO THE MATH LIEBURULS

Rodents of Unusual Size
To me the most interesting part of this whole circus is how many people are now coming out saying how happy they are for every black kid in a gangster shirt that gets killed.

I mean, I hate oversized T shirts but not that much. Enough of your fashion fascism, America.

Pillager
George better hit kickstarter for a new mouthpiece.
Rosebeekee
Truely he will end up being the Johnnie Cochran of our time.
SteamPoweredKleenex
Either this guy is somehow completely insulated from reality or Zimmerman's check bounced.
Valvados
The prosecutor in the last few seconds.
The Mothership
Yes, this.

gravelstudios
I don't understand how any judge can allow cameras in their courtroom at this point. Every lawyer now thinks their on an episode of law and order. When you treat your courtroom like a reality tv show, don't be surprised when it becomes exactly that.
gravelstudios
*they're

Ursa_minor
yeeeesh
SteamPoweredKleenex
Wait, could he be TRYING to cause a mistrial?
Rafiki
A murderer walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" And the murderer says, "'Cause I murdered somebody and now I gotta spend life in prison."

Wackity-schmackity doooooooooooooooooo!
sosage
Waiting for The Apollo's "Executioner" to come out and sweep his lawyer out of the courtroom...

spikestoyiu
Knock knock.

Thanks to the Stand Your Ground law, I was able to shoot before I could say "who's there?"

Caminante Nocturno
Why did the chicken cross the road?

So that he could harass and eventually murder an unarmed black teenager and be called a hero for it by other chickens.

spikestoyiu
A priest, a rabbi, and a black guy all walk into a bar. And then I shot them.

spikestoyiu
I meant to say:

"A priest, a rabbi, and a black guy all walk into a bar. I followed them in and then I shot them."

Rafiki
KNOCK KNOCK!

Who's there?

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN!

George Zimmerman who?

George Zimmer-man you've got my client all wrong he only wanted to take Trayvon Martin to the
GANGBANG
AT FSU
IT HAD BEEN LONG TIME SINCE HE HAD A SCREW
WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER AND IN HIS PRIME
HE USED TO GANGBANG ALL THE TIIIIIIIIiiiiiiIIIIIIME

takewithfood
How nice of him to lob John Oliver a softball like that.
oswaldtheluckyrabbit
Don't hire Michael Stipe as your lawyer
M-DEEM
I'm enjoying neckless racist week here at poetv!
longwinded
this took several stops and plays to get through.
Siebenstein
I don't get it.
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