Do you maintain a curly mustache yet aren't a circus strong man? Are you being serious when you list "unicycle" as your primary form of transportation? When you say you'd rather wait for the home release of a moving picture, do you mean the VHS version? Do you blog from the local coffee shop utilizing a portable type writer?

If yes to any of these, then a fedora may be under dressing for the local popcorn and talkie shack.

I go occasionally for stuff I can't wait for the DVD release, tho I always see weekday matinees and never the premier week.

Last thing I saw was 12 Years A Slave and it was well worth it. Probably will see Wolf of Wall St, and maybe American Hustle.

The fedora issue is way too complex to answer here. There are several scenarios where you would want one, like if you're obese, wearing a trench coat, and going alone. Or if you're obese, wearing a trench coat and going with your skinny male friend. Or if you're a skinny guy going with your obese, trench coat wearing friend. Or if you're going to be accompanied by one or more women with a mustache.

See? Way too many variables.

TheOtherCapnS left out the vital facial hair context to the fedora issue, such as not wearing a fedora if your answer to, "Have you done any grooming on your face at all in the past month?" is "Yes." I don't think he should be taken seriously as a fedora expert.

I'm a skinny guy going with an obese friend, who does not wear a trenchcoat, but does have a goatee and a shaved head with little lightning bolt designs. We may be accompanied by his girlfriend, who has no mustache but does wear emo makeup. I have mutton chops and a Devin Townsend, but I shaved a few days ago so it's not as scraggly as it could be.

I'm thinking of going with my flat cap, as usual, but if I can get hold of some LARP gear, that'd probably be acceptable too. It is The Hobbit, after all.

Hey now, I was just naming a few of the variables and a few of the ways they relate. Of course there are others, like glasses thickness relative to fingerless leather gloves. Or whether you got your logo emblazoned black t-shirt from a con, from gamestop, or from an online store.

We can all agree though that if a trenchcoat is worn, do not wear anything under it.

No gloves, but the glasses are Elvis Costello style. And my black t-shirts (which account for 90% of my shirt drawer) are logoless, because I'm a rebel and I don't do the whole being a corporate billboard thing, daddy-o!

My hoodie's got the logo of Dutch operatic metal band, After Forever, however.

Don't knock the mechanical typewriter. Putin had them issued to all FSB agents some months back, without a lot of explanation. Now it's clearer why.

Oh, also, I don't want my headgear to be too garish for fear that it would draw attention away from the centerpiece of my outfit: I've got a Rainbow Dash lighting bolt crudely stitched onto the ass of my pants.

These glasses, are they lens-less? How thick and black are they? These things add up...

"Next Time on Xena"