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Tags:60s, filmation, Archie, Horrible cartoon infinity, blinding whiteness
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Comment count is 38
Caminante Nocturno - 2014-11-16

I want to believe, with all of my heart and soul, that dancing like that was popular once.

I mean, dancing EXACTLY like that.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-11-16
It never really goes out of style.

I'm putting together a quick video comparing the Archies with an actual band from the sixties that I think may have been a visual model for the music sequences. Will submit presently.

Rangoon - 2014-11-16
^ Looking forward to it, John.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-11-17
This is interesting. According to youtube, my broadband connection will have uploaded my three minute video after 2618 minutes.

SolRo - 2014-11-17
home broadband up speeds are generally much slower than the down speed.

infinite zest - 2014-11-17
Are you uploading it from your phone? Because that never works for me when I try. So I just email it to myself and then save it and upload it to youtube.

Kid Fenris - 2014-11-16
All I remember about this show is that Veronica had a southern accent for some reason.
BiggerJ - 2014-11-16
Well, her dad IS a rich white-haired man with a moustache...

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-11-16
Looking back, I'm pretty sure that Hot Dog was actually Mr. Weatherbee in a furry suit.
fluffy - 2014-11-16
Betty's tambourine playing is rather off-beat.
Caminante Nocturno - 2014-11-16
By the way, this is as good a time as any to point out Archie is dead. He jumped in front of a bigot's bullet meant for a gay man and died.
Prickly Pete - 2014-11-17
Not yet; that takes place in the fuuuuuuuture I believe.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-11-17
The gay man, was, of course, Jughead, who later died of a heroin overdose.

BiggerJ - 2014-11-17
Here's the story.

Memory Lane is an actual, physical place, and it's a forest track on the outskirts of Riverdale. If you walk down it, you relive your past. But when you walk UP it, you experience your future - but since free will is real, the path branches. For Archie, there's a major branch where one path leads to a married life with Betty and the other leads to a married life with Veronica. But if he marries either of them, he will most definitely die taking a bullet meant for his gay politician friend. Which means he can only dodge this death by committing one of the greatest possible heresies in the comic book world (right up there with resurrecting Uncle Ben) and marry NEITHER of them (although there is also a timeline where he marries Valerie, the black chick from Josie and the Pussycats).

They're actually planning a TV drama bassed on Archie called Riverdale. I'd love to see if they can adapt the Memory Lane concept as a bit of magical realism - the fact there's a mysterious time path in the forest shouldn't be as important as what it reveals. I can see it now: he travels to the end of one path, experiences his own death, then finds himself at the end of a forest track... with a second path leading to that point. His terrified venture down the other path shows the scene in reverse, running the same way... until he starts walking backwards hand-in-hand with the other girl.

Xenocide - 2014-11-17
So basically every teenage Archie story is just a prequel to him getting shot and dying before the age of 25.


infinite zest - 2014-11-17
What? There's another one where Reggie accidentally runs over Jughead's dog, so Jughead asks Sabrina the Teenage Witch to bring the dog back to life and the dog comes back as a zombie and kills Jughead. I always just assumed that it was a comic about a boy without a penis or something.

EvilHomer - 2014-11-17
I thought you were all lying about this shit, but then I looked it up, and... wow.

Sanest Man Alive - 2014-11-17
Also worth mentioning: Josie and the Pussycats' manager, Alexandra, was actually a witch at one point, which is why she had skunk-striped hair and a black cat. AFAIK, they just stopped mentioning it when Sabrina's comics took off because they wanted to keep the magical insanity contained to one series.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-11-18
Xenocide, it has actually been established that Archie exists in a multiverse now ala DC Comics and the recent storyline proved that there are a multitude of Archies living multiple realities.

I would LOVE to see this in TV form. I think it could actually be really beautiful, especially the storyline where the town is financially being destroyed and Archie has sold out along with Veronica and they are basically powerless to watch every part of the town they love destroyed by her father and capitalism in general.

yogarfield - 2014-11-19
And here I was thinking Archie was just a stack of colored paper I stood next to in the checkout line.

Maggot Brain - 2014-11-17
What you're saying is Archie is on some kind of god like journey where he can experience all of life's branching paths simultaneously?

Fuck it, I'd stay with the black girl.
BiggerJ - 2014-11-17
I looked it up and apparently Valerie was the one who walked up Memory Lane to see her possible future with Archie. In the last issue of that storyline, she explored other paths and discovered that Archie can basically get any girl he wants.

Xenocide - 2014-11-17
1969 is often said to be the most important year in the history of rock music. Yet the #1 single that year came from this cartoon. Moral: Anyone who told you that the 60's were a golden age for music is a filthy liar. It was just the Archies and the Monkees. That's it. The Beatles are an urban legend and Bob Dylan was just an optical illusion.
EvilHomer - 2014-11-17
The Beatles are overrated and Dylan sucked. The Monkees, on the other hand, were awesome, and the fact that so many young people today want to pretend like the 60s weren't about Monkeemania just goes to show how far musical taste has sunk.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-11-17
Tommy James and the Shondells, ftw.

Quad9Damage - 2014-11-17
White, we're white, we're really, really white. We're really, really, really, really white...
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-11-17
I know that's an MSTK3 reference, but I can't remember the episode.

Rangoon - 2014-11-17
"War Of The Colossal Beast"

ashtar. - 2014-11-17
Lef - 2014-11-17
pour vous

EvilHomer - 2014-11-17
Hey, sort of off-topic, but do you guys remember awhile back, when I was discussing that grimdark anti-brony pony artist, Curt Sibling, the dude who created Hitler Pony, and how Mr Sibling's work, while good, struck me as being overly derivative of this underground comic book artist I used to like, who was somewhat notorious for drawing bizarre punk-rock incest porn comics in an art style HEAVILY reminiscent of old-school Archie comicbooks? Only I couldn't for the life of me remember his name?

Anyway, YEAH, I finally figured out who that guy was!!! His name is Frank Strom. Apparently the whole "uncanny resemblance to Archie" thing was no an accident, as he actually worked at Archie Comics! For a little while, at least; I think they might have fired him, and maybe that led to all his Archie-themed incest porn comics. I don't know. That's probably what I'd do, at least. Even more interestingly, while Mr Strom did not work directly on any of Archie Comics' flagship *Archie* titles, he has worked on a number of rather high-profile comicbook tie-in series, including The Animaniacs, The Looney Tunes, Johnny Bravo, Hong Kong Foeey, Elvira (both porn and not porn), the Powerpuff Girls, and ***drumrool badabadabada*** SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. His contributions to Sonic the Hedgehog canon include the Dragon Kingdom and Li Moon the Azn Fox.

So that was kinda cool.
Maggot Brain - 2014-11-17
Cool story, bro.

EvilHomer - 2014-11-18
Thanks! I thought it was cool, too. It's always neat to see what the wage-slaves behind cheesy mass-market stuff like Archie get up to on their own time; I can imagine that if you're an artist whose work-day consists of pumping out stodgy material for a licensed IP created by some other now-rich douchebag fifty years ago, the temptation to misbehave must be enormous!

Boomer The Dog - 2014-11-17
I'm enamored of Hot Dog, he's the boss, I'll never forget how he directs the band or his bouncy dance sequence across the stage that I call the Hot Dog dance. Hot Dog had features in the Jughead comics, including the amazing world inside of Hot Dog's house. I wish they would have spun off a whole show about Hot Dog and his friends, and I'm betting they considered it!

The original Archies TV series was a big hit, probably a lot bigger than expected, and it was run on TV into the 1980s. Ytube used to have some episodes in pieces and the music videos, but when I checked last time to show someone, I couldn't find them again..

However, torrent has a complete pack of the original series in good quality, which are the ones I remember most, and had my favorite voice for Hot Dog. I'd like to find good copies of later series, ones with the Funhouse and Giant Jukebox, and the US Of Archie.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-11-18
Most of them are on Youtube. Here ya go.


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-11-18
PS the above has numerous homoerotic references. Try and spot them all!

EvilHomer - 2014-11-18
Yeah, I was going to say, Hot Dog looks a bit like you! Not the same breed, I'd wager (no idea what Hotdog is supposed to be) but there's still a certain resemblance.

Does he talk on the show or in the comics?

Boomer The Dog - 2014-11-18
Muscles and trouser bulge caused by his 'hamburger', I noted those. I kind of think it was a more innocent time for kid's shows at least, now they'd have to watch for that stuff since more parents watch.

I should take that back, the newer Archies Weird Mysteries have potential fetish situations like the characters going into trances, transformation and potato tentacles.

That's a first series episode, chopped up a bit, not the greatest video quality, but I can use it as a reference to others or when I write about the Archies.

Those have what I think is the best Hot Dog voice, cartoony and with an echo. I never got into the later voice they gave him, deeper and more to the front of the soundstage, that wasn't Hot Dog's voice to me. That first series is what the Archies are to me, I thought they were perfect, and no other Archies has come along to top them, for me.

Right Homer, when I'm in costume, I'm a chubby looking white Dog, all I'd need is big floppy ears and a larger tail. I think he's meant to be a large Sheepdog, he has the moptop and bangs into his eyes, but he's not a Bobtail. Nowhere I've seen have they said what his breed is.

He talks in both the show and the comics. In the show it's one line wisecracks, and in the comics it seems more like regular jokes. In the show he's the wise and worldly observer. I like that, the Archies don't hear him, but the audience does.


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