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Desc:God help us all.
Category:Horror, Crime
Tags:pizza, disasters, KFC, what hath god wrought
Submitted:Crab Mentality
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Comment count is 22
Five for horror. This actually made me vomit in my mouth a little.
Binro the Heretic
I think at this point, they're trying to provoke Patton Oswalt into giving them more free advertising.
infinite zest
If I eat this I WON'T SURVIVE!

Yeah I was listening to one of his specials.. he was getting his makeup done for something and the makeup person was also doing work for a KFC commercial, and how a guy who worked for KFC marketing loved the big bowl thing, something along those lines, and went on to mention how they're testing all these other products (including the SUPER DRUMSTICK) in small KFCs mostly in the midwest.. maybe I've got the story a little off but they're marketing off of the fact that their food's bad for you, kind of like how Jack in the Box markets to stoners every which way they can besides just saying that you're high as fuck and it's 3 in the morning, where are your munchies.

The new American campaign is weird too, if you've seen it. Darrel Hammond (remember him?) portrays the Colonel himself, actually really well. Nothing evil about it (except for the chicken part, sorry carnivores) and is better than those Popeyes commercials where they tried to cater to white folks with the most intentionally racist advertising possible (HEY EVERYONE COME DOWN TO POPEYES WHERE NOBODY IS BLACK) but they have this air of Southern Pride (or Southern Mockery) which is kinda in the news right now.

Patton Oswalt rags on KFC, famous for serving junk food literally in buckets, for serving food in a bowl.

Nobody is a pure carnivore. Humans are still natural omnivores. You must seriously be retarded if you think there are actual people out there that shun vegetables.

Maybe because they're trying to be edgier-than-thou, but nobody has a _real_ dietary philosophy based on it.

Holy shit! I didnt realize that was Hammond!

I don't understand Tagalog. The Filipinos have no word for "outer space"?

And that looks gross.
infinite zest
Well, it is kind of a mix of two languages, hey just like this thing! Plus it's a million times better than the Cake cover everybody knows, and probably healthier than most kinds of cake.

infinite zest
and by "everybody knows" I mean "every douchenozzle at the bar that plays that song on the goddamn jukebox" and doesn't know the words Gloria Gaynor.

yeah yeah looks gross but it's basically just a chicken parm with pineapple and pepperoni on it being released to a foreign market.
Rodents of Unusual Size
We are opening doors to other cultures and shoving our fatty, diabetes laden food inside them.

Yeah, people shouldn't act like this is a new abomination. Chicken parmesan has been a well-established abomination for ages.

The Mothership
After the Cheesy Fortune Golden Crown pizza, this isn't too offensive. And the tag you want, by the way, is "what hath pizza hut wrought".

Also, I think Gloria Gaynor and / or Cake must be hurting for cash.
¿como se dice "i crave death"?

Scientists focused on whether they could and didn't stop to think whether they should.
No, the true horror will come when KFC's top engineers develop this as a sandwich. And instead of bread, they'll use fried chicken platforms stuffed with jalapeno cheese and barbeque sauce and buffalo sauce all at once. Then they'll drizzle melted cheese-type food by-product on top.
And here I thought nothing that comes from KFC could beat the mac and cheese in the "Jesus Christ who eats this nasty shit?" department.
il fiore bel
I don't know what you guys are talking about! This doesn't look half bad!

Can I get it in a cup?
No, but i bet you can get it in a colostamy bag

bon appétit, and GOODBYE
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