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Desc:Thoroughly inexplicable.
Category:Advertisements, Religious
Tags:campaign ad, election 2016, ted cruz, Duck Dynasty, I just dont even
Submitted:Rodents of Unusual Size
Date:01/22/16
Views:1121
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Comment count is 36
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2016-01-22
I think this is my favorite ad since Rick Perry told me I ruined Christmas for him.
That guy - 2016-01-23
with your lifestyling

The Mothership - 2016-01-22
Ted Cruz wearing blackface.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2016-01-22
Or he's exfoliating. Either way, it did not have the intended effect.

infinite zest - 2016-01-23
To be fair, that IS how the regular application of hunting camo (I think, never gone hunting myself) but you'd think someone working for Cruz would've said something.. but what REALLY pisses me off is that on the other side people are criticizing Bernie's new "America" campaign ad because it has hardly any black people in it. Yeah there are. Maybe some people just can't absorb a single moving image in a single second.

Bootymarch - 2016-01-22
There should really be a politics of the 21st century tag.
Bootymarch - 2016-01-22
or something more eloquent

Meerkat - 2016-01-22
Gallitics

Oktay - 2016-01-22
poopoolitics

That guy - 2016-01-23
How about "Politics of the ____ Century"

Plebeians love him!!

Wait, is this ad real?? One minute later after viewing it, and I can't separate fact from fiction. I must be going crazy I guess.... must be my fault.

Bootymarch - 2016-01-23
Yeah...cesar will cut the heads off isis, and take their garum.

I kind of like "millitics"

infinite zest - 2016-01-24
Yeah he must have someone on there who advised him to "go viral" for the middle american Fox News demographic because Donald Trump likes to tweet memes.

Speaking of The Donald tweeting memes,

http://forward.com/opinion/331449/that-time-donald-trump-retwe eted-nazis/

That is all. D:

Herr Matthias - 2016-01-22
American conservatism has become a political subculture. They're the equivalent of high school kids that will only listen to Marilyn Manson.
Cena_mark - 2016-01-22
"My understanding of politics is rather narrah.
Quad9Damage - 2016-01-23
The only thing more narrah is them gays' orifices. I mean come on. Vaginas.

Quad9Damage - 2016-01-23
He will go duck huntin. Or at least put on face paint and awkwardly pose long enough for the camera to capture it, and then shoot a gun in the air/have a stand-in do it. My man.
ashtar. - 2016-01-23
I never tire of watching effete ivy league 1% snobs try and pass themselves off as the salt of the earth folks they will do everything they can to fuck over once in office.
Cena_mark - 2016-01-23
True, and Cruz is by far one of the most effete. They guy just looks soft and doughey. I'll bet Sanders could whup his ass, cause despite his age Sanders strikes me as having some wirey old man strength.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2016-01-23
In terms of gayness levels:

Ted Cruz: 90%
Mike Huckabee: 50%
Bernie Sanders: 20% (I'm guessing he may have experimented in college or something)
Duck Dynasty dude: 80%
Rick Santorum: 100% (Flame ON, superfag!)

But no seriously, whenever Ted Cruz talks, baby unicorns dancing through rainbow hoops could not be gayer.

Quad9Damage - 2016-01-23
I know Joe Rogan gets mixed reactions on here, but he had a joke on his podcast about how the Duck Dynasty guys wear those beards to keep dicks from flying into their mouths.

infinite zest - 2016-01-24
I listened to a few episodes of his podcast; he seems like a very smart and nice guy, but also that sort of "professor bro" that you'd run into at the Buffalo Wild Wings. I always liked him on Newsradio, but always thought it was a bit of an act. Same goes for Bill Burr and his podcast, but for whatever reason I like his semi-insane conversations he has with himself, and to calm down he just talks about sports for 45 minutes. But I listen to those because I use them to go to sleep.

kingarthur - 2016-01-23
Wasn't there a Frisky Dingo episode about this very thing? Duck hunting on the presidential campaign trail to appeal to the common folk and all?

Also: blackface.
wtf japan - 2016-01-23
Duh cunting.
Binro the Heretic - 2016-01-23
I grew up in rural Alabama, but never got the appeal of hunting.

I'm not averse to murdering things. I fish on occasion and have no hesitation about doing in a red snapper, sheep-head or mullet. I've killed lots of household pests, everything from flies to rats the size of bread loaves.

I've never understood how it can be enjoyable to get up before the sun and trudge for hour in the cold and mud to maybe shoot a woodland creature, though.
wtf japan - 2016-01-23
You know it's mostly just an excuse for dudes to fuck each other in secret, right? I mean, occasionally you have bring home an animal or people ask questions, but for the most part, traditional "hunting" only happens when your wife or girlfriend insists on coming along. They get bored and never ask to come again and then you go back to fucking your hunting buddies.

Binro the Heretic - 2016-01-23
Well, that would certainly explain their low success rates.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2016-01-23
Brokeback Dynasty

infinite zest - 2016-01-23
Dick Dynasty :)

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2016-01-23
Dick Dynasty is more of a legacy, really.

A legacy of dicks.

Cena_mark - 2016-01-23
"Cruz, the reason we're going to vote for you... All of us..." He really gives me a creepy cult leader vibe here. It sounds like any family members who don't support Ted Cruz will be cast out.
infinite zest - 2016-01-23
Yeah, that's how a lot of families operate though. My ex and I just avoided politics completely around my in-laws who are very Right, because we were in their house. But they were cool, just had conflicting views. But she called me one night crying because of something said about the invasion of Iraq over Christmas time when I was thousands of miles away visiting my own folks. I was about ready to pack my bags and get her out of there before someone got hurt.

EvilHomer - 2016-01-23
That's also how a lot of politicians operate. As in, literally everyone capable of winning a major party's nomination.

Cena_mark - 2016-01-23
They also remind me too much of the Wyatt Family. They should appear with them at some point.

crasspm - 2016-01-23
Ted Cruz, of all the candidates on either side, is the weirdest looking blob of wet dough. He always looks like a political cartoon caricature of himself.
Binro the Heretic - 2016-01-23
I want to know what he's always so worried about.

That guy - 2016-01-23
He had a dream about young people.

Andtheywere-
.........................They were crying(?)

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