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Desc:'Vote wisely'
Category:Accidents & Explosions
Tags:Jon Stewart, donald trump, twitter, Fuckface Von klownstick
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
Date:11/03/16
Views:1352
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Comment count is 50
EvilHomer
Hi John! I can understand why Mr Leibowitz would be all-in for the Wall Street candidate, but has he defended the policies and agendas of Hillary's leaked speeches yet, or has he stuck to simply making up rude nicknames and hoping that's enough?
Bobonne
Speaking of "all-in", huh?

Xenocide
It's funny watching people flail around trying desperately to get folks to care about the "OMG LEAKED SPEECHES." The actual content of the speeches is goddamn boring and reveals nothing new about Clinton (shock of the century: she's kind of liberal and rather ambitious WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED) but the Wikileaks kids seem to think that if you point out that they're LEAKED often enough people's heads will explode.

StanleyPain
I don't know what weird fed-from-Russia-to-regressive-left-journalists crap you've been reading, but the "leaked" speeches contain absolutely nothing of note. They are boring, stock speeches that summarize very pedestrian politics and policies that Clinton has been openly advocating for years.

For some reason idiots think they are some kind of smoking gun, but I assume this is because they actually don't know what's in them or something, because they are basically the kind of generic political drivel that most politicians have assembled for them when they are paid to speak in front of groups of industry professionals or whatnot.

Bort
The part I love is how people have seized upon Hillary saying that people have private and public positions. That is news to exactly nobody, but people are trying to make like it's scandalous. There isn't a single one of us who is perfectly consistent in what we say no matter the audience or the consequences; we all tailor our messages to who is listening.

You know why people are interested in Wikileaks at all? Because they're STARTING with the assumption that people have public and private positions. So all this hand-wringing about public / private is horseshit of the least plausible order.

bongoprophet
Now Mr. Homer, this continued sandblasting of the senator from New York is getting tiresome. We all know politicians are corrupt, but can you point at just what it is that sticks in your particular craw about Mrs. Clinton?

This is getting a bit silly I'm afraid, sir

bongoprophet
Because to me it is getting smelly, oh yes. It makes me wonder if you, Mr. Homer, is just fixing to return us to the status quo of corrupt white male presidents. You thinking, we can't have a black fella aaaand a woman be president, what kind of status symbol would THAT send?

I say sir, why cannae the ladies be a bit of corrupt for once, uh huh?

John Holmes Motherfucker
The thing that pisses me off is that for seventy years, Fuckface VonKlownstick has lived a private life, steeped in the corporate culture of secrecy. There are massive scandals associated with him, but unlike the Clintons, he hasn't been investigated over and over and over again.

Apparently, even the FBI doesn't understand this FBI thing. Nobody actually knows what it is, but ITS A BOMBSHELL. The more arcane and trivial this shit is, the easier it is to spin.

And the wikileaks thing. Who has to run for president while having all their emails leaked? Nobody is going to tell me this isn't misogyny. I've never seen a politician held up to this much scrutiny.and irrational loathing, and it comes from both sides.

http://www.nytimes.com/video/us/100000002807771/the-superpreda tor-scare.html

We saw this New York Times video about the Superpredator.scare. Twenty years ago, it was a theory that social scientists and criminologists were pushing. It turned out to be wrong, and perhaps inspired by racial bias, but Hillary Clinton was the first lady, repeating what the criminologists and social scientists were saying, but she's the one held accoutable twenty years later, with that Cenk Uygur asshole running the video, and explaining what she "really" meant, like it was racial code, so that all summer I've got Bernie Babies telling me about how she said that black and hispanic children were animalks.

http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2016/03/very-brief-histo ry-super-predators

For twenty years, I've never seen anybody take so much shit.

Oh, that was a rant.

Corpus Delectable
EvilHomer von Clownstick?

memedumpster
Saying a woman can't be corrupt is grossly sexist, guys.

John will also remind you that when cornered by politics, he is a comedian, not a journalist or a pundit, except when he's a shill, then LOOK OVER THERE RUSSIANS!!!

Putin told me to say this to you all.

RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA!

#KremlinTheRecord

Bort
About superpredators: Hillary was very clear she was talking about some gang members, not even all gang members, much less all poor kids, much less all poor black kids, much less all black kids. Yet she is pilloried for being racist.

Meanwhile, Bernie says that that some people are "sick and sociopathic" in support of the crime bill, makes no effort to be clear who he's talking about, and nobody accuses him of racism.

Folks are certainly going after Hillary in ways they would never think of with anyone else, and it's coming from both sides of the aisle.

15th
“It is almost impossible to imagine the United States Senate without Robert Byrd. He was not just its longest serving member, he was its heart and soul. From my first day in the Senate, I sought out his guidance, and he was always generous with his time and his wisdom.”

-Hilldawg, in reference to the passing of former KKK member and senator Robert Byrd

Sanders was marching with civil rights leaders when Hillary was campaigning for racists. Maybe that's why Hillary is criticized for race relations more than Sanders. Or, it could be a conspiracy because she is so tough?

Bort
Yes yes 15th, you can cherry-pick all you want, but let's observe you're so hard up for material that you're quoting A EULOGY, where positive sentiments are mandatory. You know who else spoke well of Senator Byrd? The NAACP. Looks like they hate blacks too!

===

“Senator Byrd reflects the transformative power of this nation,” NAACP President and CEO Benjamin Todd Jealous was quoted at the time of his death in June 2010. “Senator Byrd went from being an active member of the KKK to being a stalwart supporter of the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act and many other pieces of seminal legislation that advanced the civil rights and liberties of our country.”

===

I might believe that you actually care about what happens to blacks, if you didn't treat it all like a game of "gotcha". Like if you want to talk about what Hillary was doing in the 1970s, she was going undercover in Alabama schools to uncover racial discrimination ... except little details like that don't fit your little game so you pretend they didn't happen.

Blacks overwhelmingly rejected Sanders because they could see right through him. You cannot.

poorwill
I guess I'll be the first one to comment on the obvious and kinda weird anti-semitic trolling by EvilHomer: I noticed you, EvilHomer! Daddy sees you, sweetheart.

15th
>> "You know who else spoke well of Senator Byrd?....[NAACP] President and CEO Benjamin Todd Jealous."

So?

>>I might believe that you actually care about what happens to blacks, if you didn't treat it all like a game of "gotcha".

Classic.

I admire your passion. Do you write for The New York Times?

Potrod
The "Hillary campaigned for Goldwater" [as a 16 year old, no one ever bothers adding] thing might be the dumbest charge against her anyone has come up with. She wasn't an adult at the time and was raised by conservative parents--how terrible that her liberal credentials didn't come fully formed out of the womb.

I don't really care about Hillary but my eyes rolled to the back of my head every time I saw that dumb meme about what Bernie and Hillary were doing in 1964.

15th
I think it's damning, because what honest 16 year old would campaign for anyone?

Potrod
So? SO? How is it NOT relevant that the NAACP president spoke well of him? I don't know much about Byrd, but do you realize that he (at least publicly) completely renounced his views on race? Or are Obama, Biden, or a million other people also racist for speaking well of him?

I'm not really suggesting she's better or worse than Bernie but can people have some sense about it all.

15th
Because it's politics, therefore 80%+ bullshit.

In 1996, before the passage of the Defense of Marriage Act, he said, "The drive for same-sex marriage is, in effect, an effort to make a sneak attack on society by encoding this aberrant behavior in legal form before society itself has decided it should be legal. [...] Let us defend the oldest institution, the institution of marriage between male and female as set forth in the Holy Bible."

That was only a decade ago. This guy was a piece of shit, with influence, for 30+ years and then 'came around.' Not good enough.

Obama and company speak very positively of Reagan as well. So I guess.........

Bort
If you're going to talk about LGBTQ rights, let's bear in mind that NOBODY'S behavior from 20 or 30 years ago holds up today. Sanders was opposed to DOMA, for example, but on "states rights" grounds and you will not find him making any statements in favor of gay marriage or civil unions then.

And you know what that tells us about Sanders? Damn little. LGBTQ rights have evolved so quickly, anything that was said 30 years ago or 20 years ago or even 5 years ago is likely to say more about the political climate than about the person's core beliefs.

Your ongoing game of "gotcha" is just old.

Gmork
You guys realize that Homer isn't responding because he's wringing his hands and going "Good, good, all is going according to plan!"

He's a professional troll. Every single thing he has ever said is suspect. He puts the same amount of effort into a position he doesn't actually agree with as those he actually does, so determining his ACTUAL position on something is near-impossible.

He's literally that asshole on the debate club who can EASILY argue any position through sheer rhetoric power regardless of his actual feelings about it.

alitheiathricechastened
hi evilholmer

i like steveb universe. would you olike to talka bout seven universe?

Old_Zircon
"He's literally that asshole on the debate club who can EASILY argue any position through sheer rhetoric power regardless of his actual feelings about it."


The one with a bright future in politics.

John Holmes Motherfucker
>>In 1996, before the passage of the Defense of Marriage Act, he said, "The drive for same-sex marriage is, in effect, an effort to make a sneak attack on society by encoding this aberrant behavior in legal form before society itself has decided it should be legal. [...] Let us defend the oldest institution, the institution of marriage between male and female as set forth in the Holy Bible."

>>That was only a decade ago. This guy was a piece of shit, with influence, for 30+ years and then 'came around.' Not good enough.

I'm not reallyt following this, but 1996 was two decades ago,not one.

15th
Checkmate

John Holmes Motherfucker
>>>Hi John! I can understand why Mr Leibowitz would be all-in for the Wall Street candidate, but has he defended the policies and agendas of Hillary's leaked speeches yet, or has he stuck to simply making up rude nicknames and hoping that's enough?

Why the fuck are you asking ME?

Bort
Hey JHMf, thanks for that link about how the 80s / 90s crime wave likely had everything to do with lead poisoning from auto emissions. Assuming it's not all just a pack of lies -- I wouldn't mind some other smartypantses taking a look at it and making sure it's legit -- it kind of changes EVERYTHING. It demonstrates definitively that you don't stop crime with more police / better armed police / more prisons / tougher sentencing, but by improving the environment that children grow up in. Liberals have been saying that for ages, but this kind of elevates it from "wishful thinking" to "scientifically proven fact".

It also means that the police can safely de-escalate because the 80s / 90s crime wave isn't going to come back. Militarized police aren't keeping the gangs from returning, they're a failed attempt at a solution to a problem that the EPA solved long ago. Solved it by accident, no less ... now that's an efficient federal agency.

Xenocide
Stewart isn't even telling jokes here. He's just repeating things Donald Trump wrote on social media, and it's getting huge laughs. This fact alone should tell you a great deal about Donald Trump.
15th
He's funnier than Jon Stewart?

Gmork
Unintentionally funnier? Yeah. Sounds about right. If only through the sheer absurdity of his existence and current circumstances.

Binro the Heretic
The real genius of that nickname is it's hilarious no matter how you scramble it:

- Clownface Von Fuckstick

- Stickface Von Clownfuck

- Fuckclown Von Facestick

etc.
M-DEEM
I can get behind this one. Can't deny the facts.

Stickclown von facefuck

Clownfuck von stickface

memedumpster
Haha, not to mention anagrams!

Cowlick Cent Van Suckoff

Old_Zircon
This is a funny situation but Jon Stewart is still not a very funny comedian.
John Holmes Motherfucker
>>Saying a woman can't be corrupt is grossly sexist, guys.

Strawman.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2016/10/30/comey-fbi-cli nton-trump-scandals-lying-women-max-boot/93009718/

http://thehill.com/regulation/304225-agent-fbi-is-trumplandia< br />
http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a50306/fbi- email-giuliani/
John Holmes Motherfucker
This is a fucking Nightmare. Trump has talked about jailing his opponent if elected. He doesn't talk about about charges or indictments, he's just just going to have her jailed. It's what dictators do. He is more corrupt than Clinton OR ANYBODY, but the press hasn't taken him seriously enough to examine his corruption he lies OUTRAGEOUSLY, and he has no track record, and it's beginning to look like the FBI is trying to fix the election in his favor.

I honestly don't have a point of reference in my 58 years to let me know how terrified I should be. Is this a coup? I've never seen anything that looks this much like a coup before.

http://thehill.com/regulation/304225-agent-fbi-is-trumplandia< br />
>>>The FBI is “Trumplandia,” according to an agent who spoke anonymously to The Guardian newspaper.

>>In a report published Thursday, multiple sources within the FBI say that deep antipathy toward Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton and anger that FBI Director James Comey did not bring charges against her this summer have motivated leaks that could damage her presidential campaign.

>>One agent told The Guardian that many at the bureau view Clinton as the “antichrist” and are supportive of Trump.

>>“That’s the reason why they’re leaking is they’re pro-Trump,” the FBI agent told The Guardian.

I think that we COULD be in a lot of trouble. It's possible.
memedumpster
I hope that's just rhetoric, because you are exactly half a century too old to use fear as an excuse for anything. Your parents should have told you this the third time they showed you that your closet is empty and there's nothing under your bed.

"Grampschild" is a word I never want to see in the American lexicon, but I know it's coming.

Waugh
trump scares everybody i hate so much i wish i could vote for him more than twice
Binro the Heretic
He's not going to win.

This election is basically that scene in "Goodfellas" where Tommy thinks he's going to become a "made" man but gets shot in the back of the head instead.

In addition to being payback for all the shit he's pulled, nobody wants to give an out-of-control psychopath a position of power.

15th
>> nobody wants to give an out-of-control psychopath a position of power.


Ohhh , you! That's adorable.

John Holmes Motherfucker
>>>>> nobody wants to give an out-of-control psychopath a position of power.

Apparently Waugh does, but only because he hates us so much. Making America great again.

Also the FBI apparently, They seem to know that Trump is incompetent, so whatever their plan is, getting Trump elected may only be step 1. At this point, I I'm not sure we can dismiss crazy ideas, just because they're crazy.

What I think we all know in our hearts is that a Trump presidency may be the best thing for us, if we survive. If the Alt-Right is a cancer, Trump could be the chemo. Let them run things for a while, and if we ever get the country back in sane hands, very few people are ever going to think it's a good idea again.

This is not an endorsement. I'm just saying if the unthinkable happens, it had to happen.

>>>Ohh, you! That's adorable.

Your lazy generic sarcasm offers no comfort. Psychopath is not a real diagnosis, so it's appropriate for lay persons, to bandy it around a bit. It's a personality type. . Trump sure ACTS like a psychopath. and I don't think he'd be the first American president who would qualify.

15th
Thank you for dismissing my quip as lazy and unhelpful then reiterating it with more words.

Your insight is greaaaaaatly appreciated.

M-DEEM
waugh is the guy that carries the machine gun in the movie and you're gonna need him so set aside your differences if you want to get your guys outta this shithole in one piece goddamnit

memedumpster
Waugh is not impressed.

I know of no higher compliment on a planet of Silly Putty people tearing each other apart to get a sideways half panel ink stain of Garfield and Cathy.

Gmork
Submit more things, waugh. You're amusing.

memedumpster
Holy shit, Obama just said on CNN "you can't elect a president that tries to shut down the media because they say something you don't like."

The view from that glass house must be fucking stunning!
Bort
Yeah, like remember that time Obama tried to get Fox News shut down? Oh that's right nothing of the sort ever happened.

memedumpster
Right, remember when Obama donned a giant robot suit and said "now all will bow before Barry!" Hyperbole means truth is what you say it is if it's against the hyperbole, huh? I think Bertrand Russel came up with that in his works on symbolic logic, given to him by space reptiles from the future, no doubt.

Do you ever get tired of being the noise in every shred of reality that crosses your desk? I mean that, how do you reckon this morally? Do you think any means are justified to whatever ends you agree with? Was there a time in your life that you just decided to be a misanthrope against the actual populace of the world? I am curious about the banality of evil and wonder if you're ever going to have your Winston moment where Big Brother tells you to revision a bit of history that you actually feel an emotion about.

Perhaps you could tell the Associated Press to set you up with a desk next to a vacuum tube to help facilitate your bullshit.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2013_Department_of_Justice_inves tigations_of_reporters

You know, if you were an honest person, you wouldn't have made Hillary Clinton look so terrible for a solid year and a half. You discredit her really hard.

Waugh
y'all so fuckin stupid

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