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Desc:What's the worst movie you've ever seen, POETV?
Category:Classic Movies
Tags:Dr. Seuss, mike myers, Worst Movie Ever Week
Submitted:cognitivedissonance
Date:11/06/16
Views:1654
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Comment count is 74
duck&cover
Mike Myers is later bitten on the tongue by a prostitute.
Xenocide
I read a bit about the making of this movie not long ago, as told by a character actor who was in this movie, has since retired and thus has no reason to keep quiet about this sort of thing anymore.

Apparently the filming was total misery for everyone involved. Everyone knew they were making garbage except Myers, who thought he was doing brilliant Nu-Comedy and acted like a complete diva on set. Actors standing around in the sun for hours waiting for Myers to wake up at noon and wander unto the set with his dozen or so assistants, and no one could say a word because the entire production revolved around him and the studio was terrified of upsetting him in any way.

But I think we can all agree that this is just the sort of treatment that should be afforded to the genius behind The Love Guru.
John Holmes Motherfucker
This movie raped my childhood
in the ass
with a cattle prod!
kingarthur
Oh, Mike. We'll always have Saturday Night Live, Wayne's World, So I Married An Axe Murderer and the first two Austin Powers movies.

Unfortunately, we also have damn near everything else.
kingarthur
Also: let's get Worst Movie Ever Week happening! I know mine.
Nominal
Cat in the Hat
Love Guru
The Spirit
Smiley

il fiore bel
The second Transformers movie?

Or Batman & Robin?

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation?

Maggot Brain
Beowulf
Across The Universe
Rock of Ages

It's been a while but is The Grinch schlecht?

Ugh
a fitting shitting on the life of dr seuss
Binro the Heretic
I suppose Geisel deserves it for all that racist shit he did before he was Dr. Seuss.

Nominal
Given the collapse in value and skyrocket of cost for college degrees, I've fostered a special kind of hate for "The Places You'll Go!"


Old_Zircon
What's the racist stuff, I've never seen anything before his WWII propaganda films, which aren't any more racist than everything else was at the time.

Binro the Heretic
OZ,

A - "Everyone else was doing it." is not a valid defense.

B - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/27/racist-dr-seuss_n_7446806 .html

Hooker
Binro, I hope you're not doing and never have done everything future generations will find unconscionable. I assume you've never worn anything made in a sweatshop?

Old_Zircon
"Binro the Heretic
A - "Everyone else was doing it." is not a valid defense.
"

Actually, placing things within the larger sociopolitical context of their time is absolutely fundamental to having any kind of meaningful understanding of history and the current trend toward applying contemporary moral strictures to the historical record is a huge problem.


Actually, that article (if you can call anything on HuffPo an "article") makes me respect him a lot more if anything, for being open enough to recognize his own misconceptions about the world and grow beyond them.


Kind of like Gunther Grass going from being an SS officer to one of the more powerful intellectual voices of social democracy in Europe.

John Holmes Motherfucker
>>"Everyone else was doing it." is not a valid defense.

Sure it is, but only in combination with "I don't do it anymore"

Brietbart recently tried to create controversy over Hillary Clinton's eulogy of "FORMER KLAN MEMBER " Robert Byrd. The eulogy was in 2010; Byrd left the Klan in 1952.

Ugh
give em stars, sneetches love stars

memedumpster
Sneetches get steetches.

M-DEEM
Does Binro ever come back and say "hmm maybe you're right" when he's clearly wrong or is he always just perfectly happy to shit on the jogging path and watch from the bushes.

Binro the Heretic
There are probably still a few members of this forum that will tell you I said things many years ago that I still get shit for today even though I realized years ago that they were wrong and sincerely apologized for them.

I could guarantee that if I, through some bizarre and highly improbable fluke, were to become famous, even for just fifteen minutes, an army of people would dig them up and hold them up as proof that I am a worthless piece of shit. With regards to the person I was at the time, they would be absolutely right.

I would hope that at least one person would point out that I recognized how shitty I was being and apologized. I don't think they would make any headway by saying, "Well, other people said stuff like that, too."

As far as I can tell, Geisel was never, in his lifetime, confronted about his racist cartoons and never apologized for them. It may be that he was hoping they would go unnoticed. We can tell, though, from his work that he didn't seem to hold hateful beliefs in his later years.

That's a far better defense than, "Other people doing it."

M-DEEM
^is this guy real?

Binro the Heretic
I am...BUT YOU ARE NOT.

PUH-LOT TWIIIIIST!

StanleyPain
Wow..the regressive leftism is strong with this one.
So, Geisel made some dumb, clumsily racist cartoons in his youth, then followed it with decades of books containing messages that are wholly the opposite of that, apologizing for it, and owning up to his own past. This is apparently not enough for hipster shitheels.

Go fuck yourselves.

Binro the Heretic
See, OZ?

THAT was a valid defense of Dr. Seuss

Hooker
Yeah. The problem was people hadn't sufficiently done the work for you to prove that Dr. Seuss grew past his racist actions during the period of WORLD WAR TWO AND PEARL HARBOR.

Honestly, if you're not going to bother taking the ten minutes required to inform yourself on this before making judgements out of respect for Dr. Seuss, at least do it out of respect for the next time you want your opinion to be listened to. Why should anyone take you seriously if you're still unwilling to either stand by your original position that Dr. Seuss is a racist or admit your earlier post was stupid and instead engage in this grandstanding?

Binro the Heretic
I could tell this movie was going to be shit and avoided it like the plague.

Unfortunately, some asshole in the electronics department thought it would be funny to have it play all day, every day on the big screen TV until the day it mysteriously snapped itself into small pieces.
Nikon
This is purified hellmatter.
Binro the Heretic
I'd say "weaponized."

Bort
I'd say "a big lie, like the Holocaust".

Jimmy Labatt
"Purified Hellmater" should really be a tag.

Old_Zircon
I'd say The Hottie and the Nottie but everyone complained so much at the sneak preview screening I got passes to, as if they didn't know exactly what we were getting in to and why, that we ended up sneaking in to Juno instead, which was also not very good at all.
Rangoon
Worst was Police Academy: Mission to Moscow.

Second worst was Super Capers. Never heard of it? Good, keep it that way.
Lurchi
well that was a waste of two hours

wait, the clip was only two minutes?
Pillager
Time Bandits.

Followed by 30 days of Night.
BHWW
Originally, as is my understanding, Mike Meyers wasn't particularly enthusiastic about starring in this movie.

The original script had been written with Tim Allen in mind as the Cat in the Hat, sort of shoehorned into a The Santa Clause type story where the Cat helps a busy executive who doesn't have time for his family learn the real meaning of blah blah blah, but Allen dropped out during pre-production.

The director, Bo Welch, needed a replacement. Welch had worked as production designer on, among other movies, Beetlejuice, Batman Returns, etc. and a few years before "Cat" he'd been slated to helm his first movie, a project that was to be his Big Directorial Break.

That project was to have been yet another movie based on an SNL sketch character, "Sprockets: A Dieter Movie", starring Myers. Production began in 1998, and it was slated for a 2001 release. However, there were problems, mostly with the script which was a source of frustration for Myers, who went through 14 drafts with his collaborators but failed to come up with one that he felt was good enough to film. Only weeks before filming was to start in 2000, Myers was so dissatisfied with the script that he decided he couldn't make the movie and backed out of the project, which was as good as cancelled since he was the co-writer, creator of the character, and star. First Universal sued Myers, because for some reason studios don't care for it when the "talent" pulls out of a movie they've already spent money on in pre-productions, like sets and costumes and hiring cast and crew. Then Imagine Entertainment sued Myers for breaching a separate contract he had with them, and then Myers sued Universal and so on and so forth, and eventually a truce was made...and as part of that truce...

Well, it had taken Mr. Welch another year or two to get another design-heavy big-studio picture for his Big Break, a Universal/Imagine/DreamWorks production (DreamWorks having been key in brokering the truce), and when he did, there were more than a few contractual obligations to convince Myers he owed Welch a picture.
Adham Nu'man
Mine is Transformers 2
Rafiki
The Interview. I movie so bad I actually sided with North Korea for hacking Sony to prevent its release.
Maggot Brain
"Let's make a glob trotting spy movie and have it mostly take place in a hotel room!"

memedumpster
Every week for me is worst movie ever week. I do look forward to seeing you babes in the woods fail to even come close, however... as I cry for your innocence.

Not that this clip isn't Gitmo torture device worthy.
M-DEEM
Little Nicky

Couldn't finish it just like this clip
boner
Superman IV
Xenocide
Sausage Party.

"Hey folks, it's me, Seth Rogan. You might remember me from your personal list of Hollywood comedians who need to stop. So check this out, you guys: what if, like, Toy Story, right? But Woody cussed all time? And instead of giving the characters personalities, we make jokes about how one of them is Mexican, and one of them is Native American, and one of them is a Jew! Also, they're all EUPHORIC for ATHEISM, but like, the edgy fifth grader brand of Atheism that kids turn to because they want to sleep in on Sunday. And at the end all the characters fuck. It goes on for eight minutes. Human beings with families will spend months of their lives animating the sequence where the bagel has sex with the Twinkie while the hot dog watches.

Also at the end there's an entire sequence that exists just so the characters have a reason to say the name 'Seth Rogan' and put a live action photo of me up on the screen. That's literally how we end the movie! With the character learning that Seth Rogan is their God, even though the whole point of the movie is that there is no God? I don't know. There's a lesbian taco in this movie. Remember South Park? Do they still make that? Well, this is like a South Park."
Maggot Brain
No one has pissed away more good will by making shitty movies than Seth Rogan.

BHWW
Awaiting Rogen's next animated project:

"Listen, this movie is all going to be about...like, what if...what would happen if...weed smoked weed? Huh? Huh?"

memedumpster
Wait, what did Seth Rogan do to garner the initial good will?

I am genuinely curious.

Old_Zircon
Freaks and Geeks is pretty good, and he was good in it although it's hard to appreciate that now because of his record since then (kind of like it can be hard to appreciate Jack Black's early screen appearances and MR. Show stuff because of every single thing he's done since High Fidelity, including High Fidelity).

Just in general, that show is a who's who of men who went on to be insufferably annoying.

Maggot Brain
I've always had a stoft spot for Zack and Miri Make a Porno. It's Kevin Smith most competent movie.

Rafiki
He co-wrote Superbad.

dairyqueenlatifah
This is definitely a terrible film but I've seen plenty that are worse.

-Spice World
-Land of the Lost
-Manos: The Hands of Fate
-The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
-The Last Airbender
-Baby Geniuses
-Troll 2
-The Fifth Estate
-Virus
-Mad Max: Fury Road

There are more but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.
kingarthur
You take back your blasphemy about Fury Road!

I agree with all the rest though.

Xenocide
ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER

memedumpster
The angry mob is correct, how dare you list Virus!

Wait, is that 70's Virus or 90's Virus?

dairyqueenlatifah
The 90s one. The one with Jamie Lee Curtis.

memedumpster
D:

But I love robot body horror movies!

We're still cool with Moontrap though, right?

Yeah, it was really bad.

Nominal
The first hour of Fury Road was fantastic.

Everything after the sandstorm literally made me fall asleep in the theater. If I ever watched it again I would definitely turn it off after that point.

Compare that to Road Warrior, where there was not one single boring scene in the entire thing.

memedumpster
Ranking these is very difficult after the first two.

- Smiley (my fucking god)
- Bolero (I wont even tell people in real life that I have seen this movie)
- Transformers 2
- Food Fight
- The Spirit
- Jupiter Ascending
- Ghost Fever
dairyqueenlatifah
Oh damn I forgot about Jupiter Ascending. The worst film I've ever seen with a budget over $200 million (good God do I hope it is anyway).

memedumpster
I have seen it three times, due to the harsh cold nature of the universe. Each time it seems twice as bad as the time before it. Did you know the bird-dog dude's gun barks every time he fires it? That just makes me angry.

The budget makes it miraculously worse. If they had been restricted to $30-$90 million, the hard choices would have improved it by omission, though anything left would still be terrible.

kingarthur
Eddie Redmayne got the Oscar the same year he made Jupiter Ascending.

They should have just shown the clips of his performance in that and taken away the Oscar on principle. He delivered almost every line while inhaling.

Old_Zircon
Jupiter Ascending played on I think the only night I've missed so far, and I'm not sure whether to feel regret or relief.

Old_Zircon
IMDB discussions suggest that there was fan resentment over the fact that Channing Tatum was given asymmetrical ears.

memedumpster
OZ, it is probably a movie you need to see... to lesson the pain for those of us who have. RSR can hook you up, because he has no compassion.

Old_Zircon
I've got some other contenders for my worst:

Surf School
National Lampoon's Class Renunion
Mindwalk
9 1/2 Ninjas (I swear someone on PoE Red said they were in the opening sequence as a child)
Hobgoblins (the original, full cut, not MST3k)
Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park
Cool World

Controversial:
Class of Nuke Em High 2
Sgt. Kabukiman NYPD
nearly every Troma production after Sgt. Kabukiman, NYPD (although they've distributed a ton o gems since then and I'm glad they exist)
Howard Stern: Private PArts

smoothw
I am so pleased that I introduced Bolero to the community

urbanelf
Four rooms. Couldn't get through it. First time I walked out of a theater.
Old_Zircon
The first of the four bits is absolutely terrible, but the Robert Rodriguez one is pretty great, arguably the best thing he did, and Tarantino's closer isn't solid, too. I don't even remember the second one.

Old_Zircon
Tarantino's closer isn't bad/is solid. Take your pick since I didn't.

memedumpster
Today I learned there are 300% more people who have seen this movie than I originally thought.

Cena_mark
My least favorite film ever is Peter Jackson's King Kong. Its the longest, most boring, bloated, CGI filth ever.
memedumpster
I totally forgot about that!

Yeah, it sucked.

memedumpster
Well, there is one part I liked. I liked that she did a vaudeville routine to amuse Kong rather than a strip tease. That is a tremendously welcome improvement over the shallowness of the times it originally came from.

dairyqueenlatifah
2005 me loved it!

Then again, 2005 me also loved anime and Family Guy!

Quad9Damage
I was fine with it until they went ice skating. The Critic couldn't have made that shit up.

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