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Desc:This makes me angry. I think this is pretty much the stereotypical pretentious student film.
Category:Horror, Arts
Tags:Cocks, get over yourself, who cares, bath tub, wispy narration
Submitted:baleen
Date:10/25/07
Views:3171
Rating:
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Comment count is 40
bakune young
when a kid goes to art school they get a compulsion to make shitty student films/take shitty pictures of their friends in a bathtub. this is universal.
zatojones
Actually what happens is that most kids who go to art school are terminally narcissistic and usually not very bright, so they all end up making ridiculous vanity pieces that do little more than stroke their and their friends' egos. Add to that the thrill of exploratory sexuality no longer bound by living at home with their folks and you get this sort of dreck. Later on they learn about irony and it only gets worse.

futurebot
Actually what happens is that an inevitable subset of any academic / professional demographic you can think of can be labelled IDIOTS, except for the architects and engineers because they are arrows of longing to the gold-plated ubermensch right? But especially those faggy art students, and also people who study the humanities. Man I got all the education I needed in REAL WORLD UNIVERSITY, where our Latin motto is SPEAK ENGLISH, THIS IS AMERICA, ASSHOLE.

oswaldtheluckyrabbit
YEAH YOU ENGLISH/ART FAGGOTS YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET A JOB EVER OH AND COULD YOU EDIT THIS PAPER FOR ME BECAUSE I CAN'T STRING TWO WORDS TOGETHER.

I do know for a fact that my last boss got fed up with business/marketing majors, because they were, in his words, "morons."

oswaldtheluckyrabbit
But this video is shit. It reminds me of that film the art teacher made in Ghost World.

baleen

It becomes much more painful when you consider that this girl probably dropped a good ,000 on this thing, perhaps more, and probably sends it to festivals where it torments people in real-time.

zatojones
I studied the humanities. I have a B.A. I used to hang around with a lot of art school kids (my university has a separate art school). That is how I know this about art students: they throw good parties but they're mostly a bunch of catty retards who make really bad art until they graduate at which point trying to make a living without actually having any real skill takes up most of their time.

Unmerciful Crushing Force
I'm a film major. I've made plenty of shorts. While some self-indulgence in any student film is a given and even kind of encouraged, this is the sort of shit that gets you laughed at. Even by your own crew.

It also leads to you alienating people as you go on in your studies.

The thing that scares me is that this gal had quite a crew up her sleeve, whereas anyone else's self-indulgent projects. The key to it that your typical professional will usually tell you is to make it into something that other people might enjoy seeing.

This fails at that. This fails like that short film on "pain" someone did. Fails like that one-take "short" about guys playing cards to shitty music. It's not even interestingly bad like that fucking Wonder Woman thing someone gave to us.

YES I AM FAGGING OUT LET ME ENJOY MY LIFE PLEASEEEEE

a flaming monkey
Stop wasting water you silly woman.
Innocent Bystander
Fuck her voiceover voice is annoying.

Also this is not art because I didn't see any ass, titties or nothing.
Angel Carver
South African whites are so BOO. And this one in particular seems very pleased/impressed with her own whiteness, not to mention the sound of her own accented voice.

South African Whore (echo): Where have I gone/where have I gone/where have I gone...

OH JESUS.
Aelric
it's not even a proper South African white accent, but more like an "ART!" accent, also interchangeable with teenage wiccan's and vampire LARPer's fake accents. i wish to god i could post audio examples so you would know just what i mean.

i would have rather looked 20 minutes of the word "ART!" scrolling around the screen.

baleen

It actually made me physically upset to watch this. I tried to watch it again as an experiment, like taking the bad acid just to see my inner demons... It's fucked up.
Xiphias
It's amazingly bad, and therefor good, but it's not bad enough (good enough) to make me want to watch all of it
Billy Buttsex
What're you guys talking about?? This is GREAT! ALL FILMS SHOULD BE EXACTLY LIKE THIS! I'm going to start writing Vin Diesel and Charlie Murphy about this immediately.
Thatcher Pennywhistle
I watched that for exactly 8 seconds.
Stog
I AM IN LOVE WITH MYSELF FOR EIGHT MINUTES

I kept wishing that the director, someone, ANYONE would eventually drop a plugged-in toaster into the bathtub
Angel Carver
I've watched this exactly 8 times. I keep coming back for more punishment.

In light of that, my 4 star rating was premature. This was 5 star material all the way. Baleen, please accept my apology.
Feyd
salad fingers
x
I see a machete in her future.
NoCode
What the fuck was that crap?
GoneGirl
See, I blame Doris Lessing for this.
Herr Matthias
Christ, is there a "Add To Least Favorites" button?
happy_ending
Ok, so this chick listens to nothing but Tori Amos, right? She's even got the fake not-quite-British accent down.
zatojones
This chick is clearly an art student, not a women's study major, so no. And also it's not 1996.

happy_ending
zato, baby. She is being RETRO.

Scynne
Culture flows through this place like a poor metaphor.
Scynne
As a professional director of photography, I give this much more credit then it has been receiving.
baleen


So she hired a professional DP to shoot her film. Who cares? Does it really effect how unbearable the content is?

zatojones
I will agree that if you mute the sound the video does improve slightly.

Unmerciful Crushing Force
You wouldn't mind if I picked your brain sometime, would you? oneiro at gmail dot com sir.

And yes, I understand that there's some nice, reel-worthy DPing going on here. Certainly 100 times better than I could ever dream of doing, but like baleen said, ultimately a film is (and honestly, should be) judged by people on its merits as a whole.

coprolalia
I didn't see any DPing in this. That would have made it way more interesting.

KnowFuture
THANK YOU FOR THE BRIEF USE OF THE BUCKET THAT IS YOUR BATH, O NEGRO CHILD.

NOW PLEASE DISPPAEAR BACK INTO THE SQUALOR FROM WHENCE YOU CAME, FOR YOUR SCENE IS FINISHED AND THERE IS ART TO BE GOTTEN ON WITH.





...the really sad thing is, I probably know people who would watch this and like it.
sloth love crunk
Take heart, South Africa has a very high murder rate
coprolalia
If I were in film school, I'd want to make a movie just like this but with the "the hell?!" toaster ending. Would that be just as lame and self-indulgent or not?
baleen

I sent this to my dad and his response was:

"I hope this girl gets gang raped by 30 AIDS-infected Zulus."

I love my pops.
Keefu
I couldn't bear to watch more than a few seconds of this. Thus it gets 5 stars for being awful.

Vicious
I wanted to punch things throughout its duration
coprolalia
She's probably trying to sound like Sophie Moleta. I just heard Moleta for the first time now and the tone and cadence sounded gratingly familiar.
Hooper_X
Four stars for being incredibly, incredibly well shot. This is a pretentious and retarded student film, but it's an awful nice looking one. You could probably dub in completely different narration and have something pretty decent. Don't know what, mind you, but something.
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