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Desc:why is the audience laughing?
Category:Humor
Tags:pizza, Pain, jewish, cell phones
Submitted:heyitslozeau
Date:08/22/08
Views:7542
Rating:
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Comment count is 82
baleen

Wow. I am wincing at every line.

Cleaner82
I hate this, I really do. There's nothing more painful to me than a comedian bombing, and on this site that's saying a hell of a lot. Five, naturally.
robotkarateman
This is really hard to watch, but is worth it for her absolute cluelessness. The five stars are the for the friend who told her, "You're so funny! Girl, you should be a standup comedian."

YakooMarkTwo
I'm going to give this a five as a submission. I got 1:48 into it and had to stop - so this video did its job.
tenten
Y'know, I bailed at the same time. LOLocaust indeed.

Dib
I bailed as soon as she started threatening to rap. I'm not sure there is anything as annoying+embarrassing for everybody involved as awful rapping.

McGillistabby
Yeah, I bailed around then... once I noticed that it's NINE MINUTES LONG.

My stars are for the audience. The poor polite audience.

kennydra
It's a new genre of stand-up comedy where you just leave out the punchlines. It's all setup. Over and over and over.
jesustweak
"Do you guys like pizza? Who has a cell phone?"

This is the perfection of post-funny comedy that Andy Kaufman only dreamed of.
waxeater
"Anyone ever ride in a boat? Who's eaten cheesecake? Ever see 'Star Wars?' Thanks, you guys have been great! Goodnight!"

baleen

I think I'll try something like this at the next open mic comedy in my neighborhood.

ChocFullOfFunk
Harry Caray does standup.

Screwtape
You're stealing material from *Mike Myers*!? Worse than terrible.
Merkwuerdigeliebe
Tags: comedy, Pain, improv, jewish
Merkwuerdigeliebe
I suggest hlolocaust.

wtf japan
Die Endlulzung.

kiint
hololopalooza!

heyitslozeau
for some reason the tags disappeared when i tried to add pizza and cellphones.

heyitslozeau
also error reads: Key insert failed, submission accepted keys all done exploded!

Merkwuerdigeliebe
I wish I could give this five stars again for Endlulzung.

If you add too many tags the tag list breaks. Try removing them and adding one by one until you reach the limit.

King of Balls
Here are those extra stars you ordered, Merkwuerdigeliebe.

Endlulzung.

Bort
Endlulzung for me too, please.

(That tops my favorite German misspelling, "Leiderhosen", which translates to "unfortunately pants".)

Dinky Patterson
Zei nit kain vyzoso.
KnowFuture
YOUR MOM DID NOT TELL YOU YOU SHOULD BE A WHITE JEWISH RAPPER---and then the bit goes nowhere. Wow.

Camonk
None of the bits go anywhere. There aren't any bits. This bitch makes me so angry! Why does she hate jokes so much that she won't tell one?

chumbucket
she let me down
Xenocide
New York and LA are totally different. In New York you can't find an apartment! But then you find an apartment. And in LA you can't find an apartment! But then you find an apartment. But then....you have to buy things for it! Buying things, am I right? Who here buys things?

Yeah, so....my mom's Jewish! And she worries! LAUGH!
dancingshadow
I hate her
Poor Excuse
I don't hate her, I hate her friend that thought she was funny enough to recommend becoming a comedian.

Ehhh I hate her too.
Kibblesmith
From the way this is cropped, I'm going to assume the sign behind her says "Improve."
NoCode
*****

Gmork
Suck a trainload of dicks NoCode

sosage
This thing is almost 9 minutes long. These stars represent the amount of times I pushed the scroll bar forward a minute...+3.
boner
Like a brainstorming session for the next Cathy comic
HarrietTubmanPI
She should have seen some of those demmycrat joke videos on POE. Then she'd have plenty of great material.
Mordant
One of my coworkers has the exact same sense of "humor" as this chick. It's painful.
indierockbird
oy.
Jeff Fries
The worst sound in the world has to be the supportive laughter women give to other women who are trying to be funny.
Cena_mark
Women just aren't funny.

Stog
I heard they can't drive either.

Xenocide
Also they're selfish cackling monsters who eat men's souls. They digust me. Why can't I find a girlfriend?

Cleaner82
And then they complain when they're killed.

Cena_mark
And they complain about being raped. You know they wanted it all along. If a woman doesn't want to be raped she shouldn't dress sexy.

j lzrd / swift idiot
Nobody has mentioned they're slow learners?

Because, I mean, mathematics, amirite? Go on, ask the next lady friend you meet a simple question involving two trains leaving different stations at different speeds, sit back, and watch the results.

Fifty to one odds says she will start twitching and electrical sparks will shoot out of her neck.

Two to one odds says she will giggle and ask you why you would ask her a question only some math genius would know the answer to.

One point zero zero zero one to one odds that she'll end up berating you because it's so obvious you're just trying to make her look like some dumb bimbo and why do you act like that it's so mean you know exactly what you're doing DON'T ASK ME WHAT'S WRONG LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW.



And so nobody takes me too seriously here, like I dunno EVERY OTHER TIME, </bullshittingyou>

mashedtater
As a woman I would respond, but all I know about is embroidery and kittens!

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
I watched the screw fly larvae vid but I simply can't make it through this.
FISTFULLofSOUL
I share your pain.

almo
jews
Daymage
I'll repeat "ho" many times.
Camonk
Who likes pizza

Who has a computer

What's going on with computers

So my mom calls me without segue

Here's something that's almost racy but is still not a joke

Five stars.
Unsung
Wow, this is even more painful than the black comedian bombing I submitted.
RomancingTrain
I was hoping this was from '91 but then the rapper thing happened.
grimcity
I only made it 48 seconds in, but I'm starring the comments from pretty much everyone here. -10 for her, +15 here.
chalk
:48 was where I had to stop, too. That laugh... it hurts.

NoCode
gaah, shut the fuck UP!
revdrew
This is like watching a black guy that can't dance.

I couldn't make it to the two minute mark.
yourmother
OH MY GOD SHUT UUUUUP!!!

I can't even believe this was attempted.
yourmother
oh yeah...

sliggy
I hear the laughter, and I hear people talking. I can only assume that the side conversations are really funny. I'm five starring all the witty people who are not on stage.
klingerbgoode
HEY GUYS I'M A JEW. WHO HERE HAS A COMPUTER? SAY HAY HO HAY HAY HO
Enjoy
I watched the whole thing and I'm not sure I heard one joke that worked even a little bit.
fluffy
She is the secret daughter of Mike Myers and Fran Drescher. She was given up for adoption and raised by Jerry Seinfeld.
fluffy
oh and 5* for extreme pain

Seris
I laughed when I heard a guy say behind camera "I bet your pussy is hot like an oven--" because even though he was clearly drunk, he could atleast make half a jew-burning joke and it was still a million times better than her act.

Which was VERY annoying by the way.
blackmetallic
oh god not comedian rap.

I would rather pull my urethra out with a corkscrew than view her truly awful standup again.

I enjoy the audience talking amongst themselves, louder and louder through out, always a good sign for a comedian. HOW DOES SHE NOT HEAR THIS?

starting out by plagiarizing a painfully unfunny mike myers is also an auspicious beginning...
Nyms Lives!
5 stars for the paradox... the only way she could get up on stage would be to give a blowjob to the manager, but as a Jewish woman she's incapable of giving a blowjob. This is a paradox truly worthy of scientific study.
Merzbau
"Men Behind the Sun" was less painful to watch than this.

Also worth noting that the Dick/Bush/Colin thing is ripped off from George Carlin, only in a way that mangles it beyond all hope of ever being funny again.
lucienpsinger
Incredible. One of the worst I've ever seen. Right? Y'knowwhatahmtalkin' about.

...Right? There we go. There we go.
libby1217
omg, that was so horrible..but five stars for the post and that she actually made it through there...she was wondering and probably still is..how she made it without the gong....oh, that was another show.....
KnowFuture
Mitch Hedberg's joke about adding an "E" to the end of the sign in the background comes to mind...
kingofthenothing
16 seconds. She started making annoying jew sounds and I cut it off.
spork865
TERRIBLEBAD
tamago
Anyone who finished this all the way through, I would not fuck with as they obviously feel no pain.
ADnova
I killed myself 7 times while watching this video. Actually, I couldn't watch it, I had to scroll down so that I couldn't see the thing making the noises.
yourdeadgirlfriend
5 stars for "I'll just stick to the comedy."
kwash
Another beautiful example of divergence between the youtube and poetv ratings.
exar_kun
Hitler saw her coming, shes the reason for the holocaust.
Maru
And they blame Islam for bombings.
poopy
Unforgettable.
dairyqueenlatifah
Six years later and it's somehow more cringe-inducing.
That guy
........now take a good couple of minutes and imagine her practicing for this routine.
pyslexic dharmacist
Not bad if you're drunk and imagine you're just listening to another random drunk chick.

If.
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