Next up, Cash4Gold produces a commercial that "jokingly" depicts people digging up their relatives' coffins and reliving them of fillings and jewelry they were buried with.
(Skanky 40ish woman trying to dress like she were still in her 20s): Mama was buried with the ring Daddy gave her, but when I heard about Cash4Gold I couldn't just leave it down there! I turned it in for big cash! (holds up handfull of dollar bills)
"Hi, I'm financial advisor and part-time sadist, Mr. Sardonicus. Like you, I understand our recent national economic hardships, and that's why I trust Cashforgoldusa.com."