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Comment count is 39
mountain dew insimination - 2008-12-24

I voted this out because I know now that finer chopped tuna will improve my quality of life.

mountain dew insimination - 2008-12-24


kelpfoot - 2008-12-24

I want a Slap Chop.

It will make my life more exciting.

ProfessorChaos - 2008-12-24

I want one, just to keep this guy making more unintentionally hilarious commercials.

Knuckles - 2008-12-24

He's so excited that he made the backwards shot into the sink, he messes up putting the lid back on.

Knuckles - 2008-12-24

Oh yeah, also: this guy's name is Vince Offer. And the reason he's doing these infomercials? When he was in college, he wrote, directed, and starred in a film that could easily top a list of the worst ever. He got hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt trying to make it into a success, and now he has to whore himself to get out of the mess he made.


"The film itself mainly consists of crude lowbrow skits (such as Gena Lee Nolin loudly using the restroom and a superhero named 'Dickman', who dresses in a giant penis costume and defeats his enemies by squirting them with semen), created by the director, based on sketches Offer originally performed on a cable access show he had hosted. The film went direct to video and consistently rates in IMDB's bottom 100 movies. Lawrence Van Gelder in The New York Times wrote a scathing review, saying the movie 'stands as a monument to ineptitude and self-delusion.'"

ProfessorChaos - 2008-12-24

I like my commercial salesmen to smell faintly of failure and desperation.

coprolalia - 2008-12-24

I remember the commercials for that movie.
This all makes sense now.

Big Beef Burritos Supreme - 2008-12-24

Notice the cut just before he throws it: this is a million take effort.

chumbucket - 2008-12-24

it's fascinating to think that these jobs are filled by the inhabitants of acting perdition

Merzbau - 2008-12-24

"The film has sold in excess of 100,000 copies and Offer has used the proceeds from sales to file a lawsuit against the Church of Scientology."

cognitivedissonance - 2008-12-24

"In 2004, Offer, an ex-Scientologist, sued the Church of Scientology, alleging it had declared him a criminal and had urged its members to "write false and malicious reports against him." Offer claimed that the church's action against him caused him to lose a successful business, as many of his employees were Scientologists who quit upon learning of the church's actions."

This guy is fucking glorious.

Comeuppance - 2009-01-21

1:08 compliments this information extremely well.

Sudan no1 - 2008-12-24

We're gonna make America skinny again! MMMMM CHEESE

baleen - 2008-12-24

This guy is sort of a fucking genius.

Harold Manchester - 2008-12-24

I disagreed up until, "Tacos, fettucini, linguine, martini, bikini." By the time my brain finished processing the type of relationship shredded cheese could possibly have with the last two things, I was hopelessly mesmerized.

Knuckles - 2008-12-24

I also wanna point out that he says the offer is only good for 20 minutes. In an ad made for the internet.

ProfessorChaos - 2008-12-24

The add was made for a station, and leaked onto the internet. Watch - in a few days, this will be pulled and need to be updated. (The same thing happened to another submission of the same video that didn't get out of the hopper quickly enough.)

Udderdude - 2008-12-24

This man is my hero.

GoneGirl - 2008-12-24

I am motherfucking terrified by this. I believe this is a reasonable response.

Man Who Fights Like Woman - 2008-12-24

I'm scared too. When I consider the mental acrobatics he had to have gone through during his "taco, fettucini, linquini, martini, bikini" bit, I realize that he is clearly some sort of superior being. A superior being who is high as shit on meth.

dr_rock - 2008-12-24

A friend of mine whipped out a shamwow to clean his guitar the other day. A fucking shamwow. I asked where he got it - he said he got sold by the slick sales guy on the TV, then when he called, they upsold him a bunch of extra crap. He was rather embarrassed about it, but I think this is a testimonial to how good these sales bastards have gotten (when it comes to dumb people).

UnderANeonHalo - 2008-12-25

So is it a good guitar cloth? 'Cause this guys been getting into my head and that's all the extra incentive I'd need right about now.

StanleyPain - 2008-12-24

What the shit? This thing was old, like, 8 years ago. These things have been around forever, and now they're trying to remarket them with infomercials? Jesus. What's next?
THE AMAZING CAN EXTRACTICATOR!!! (*pulls out ordinary can opener*)

Big Beef Burritos Supreme - 2008-12-24


Mike Tyson?! - 2008-12-24

I was still listening to RIDING THAT HOG in my head while watching this, now I want to go back to bed because it's impossible for my day to get any better.

Rudy - 2008-12-24

Parmasan? Comes with a cover!

King of Balls - 2008-12-24

Oh man this guy. Fucking love him.

boner - 2008-12-24

Who would win in a fight, the Shamwow guy or the Will It Blend guy?

coprolalia - 2008-12-24

It's hard to say, but it would be like the showdown in Scanners.

kingarthur - 2008-12-25

No matter who wins, we win.

cognitivedissonance - 2008-12-24

Just knowing there is a man of such epic bitterness and gigantic awesome hatred for his own clientele and willing to balls-out flaunt them gives me hope for humanity.

Shine on, you crazy diamond. Preferably after wiping yourself with a Shamwow.

Ursa_minor - 2008-12-24

This tuna is fucking boring.

Athetosis - 2008-12-24

That double head-dip smile at the end sold me.

Albuquerque Halsey - 2008-12-24

Next time your local State Fair starts up, go to the "Product Expo" hall or whaterverthefug they call it. It's booth upon booth of infomercial LARP

keinsignal - 2009-01-16

That is always my favorite part of the fair. I love listening to a good pitchman. It's weirdly relaxing to me, almost like meditation.

There's a guy who sells plastic mandolines at the MN State Fair every year that is almost as good as Vince. I was kind of sad when he finally updated his patter so he was no longer claiming the product was "Manufactured in West Germany". That would have been about two years ago.

themilkshark - 2008-12-25

ShamWow Vince is the patron saint of POETV

Busby Berkeley - 2009-01-08


BA - 2009-01-31

This ISN'T some kind of ironic redub? I don't even understand why I'm enjoying this.

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