"Microsoft, huh? So it's pretty easy to use?" Towel guy can't tell when his friends are being sarcastic.
Hmmm... needs more jazzy.
Wonder how it can handle a few of my raspy Tom Waits renditions.
needs "punchable" tag
|Monchiles Monchiles |
I can't stand this. I hate whatever it's called when people conversationally sing.
* Only compatible with children with built in Autotune(R)
** Will only produce bland General Midi music
good god, they think this will sell this thing?...and towels?
Meh, needs a better slogan... like "Release your inner Wesley Willis, today" or something.
also, the line should be "microsoft, huh? so it eats up all of your system resources unnecessarily and is an abomination to the very concept of software then?"
I really wish this was a joke. If it's not then at least we'll get to see how this effects YouTube.
Also five stars because at 3:34, I was typing this and not watching this and I almost thought she'd sing "Did the Bosses like your Assssss?"
|Mike Tyson?! |
I want every thing I say to be run through autotune. When can I do that?
This thing is a fucking GIFT to the internet. Within two years, imagine how many shitty teenagers singing along with this motherfucker there are going to be on Youtube.
This is going to be its own category on 73Q.
I know I plan to pirate the fuck out of it, because I plan on recording nu-metal versions of all my favorite dirty playground songs.
"Well, my band has said my songs have been a little stale lately..."
What kind of tone-deaf retards are they have if this new song is an improvement?
I just read this. Omit the "have."
What kind of illiterate retard am I have...?
Move my groove on...
|Caminante Nocturno |
I lasted about 45 seconds before I started getting angry with the people in the commercial.
|Architeuthis Tux |
Holy limping Jesus fucking a bucket of syphilis!
How did they ever pay people enough to be FILMED doing that!?
Microsoft Marketing Pro Tip: Target the specific audiences that will be most profoundly revolted by your product.
|Poor Excuse |
Those are not his children, gay men cannot reproduce. That brown guy's new album will be rad though. I hope he name drops songsmith in every track.
Five stars because the actors playing his bosses look genuinely horrified when he sings, and clearly only start clapping because they're paid to.
|King of Balls |
I know, my rating doesn't reflect PoETV's philosophy regarding bad=stars, but I really, fundamentally, morally can't give something this insipid more than the bare minimum amount of stellar icons.
|Big Beef Burritos Supreme |
RIGHT, PEOPLE. We need a product to compete with Apple's Garage Band, but it needs to be both simpler to use and create even more mediocre results.
How about we chuck out the real sounds and throw in some late 80s style midi?
How about we get rid of the cut and paste interface and automate the process?
How about we add an interface specifically for autotuned vocals?
OH GOD YES.
How about we both charge for this and make a 5 minute presentation advertising its awful twee-ness.
FUCK ME HARDER! WE'RE IN BUSINESS.
Songsmith: Now The Blind Can Enjoy Comic Sans Too.
Well, Microsoft's done it. They finally produced a worse piece of software than Windows ME.
He took the flowered laptop to work. Way to get around paying for a second license.
|Doctor Arcane |
I refuse to believe they want people to pay for this. This is Microsoft Research trying to show they can be cool like Google Labs and Apple. And failing. Right? Right?
Oh wait. It's $30. Still, I'm tempted to use my free six hours trying to do Cannibal Corpse covers in cookie monster voice and see what comes out.
|Stupid Lisa Garbage Face |
Mr. Microphone, the next generation. "Hey Lay-dies...... (less happy more jazzy) I'll be back... to pick you up laaaa-teeer!"
Fun for kids, bad for music.
|Mike Jordan |
I'm available to start as soon as possible. My qualifications are as follows; functioning right hemisphere of the brain, two hands, something resembling a soul.
What if I do know how to write music?
"Songsmith is for you too. Songwriters can use Songsmith as an “intelligent scratchpad” to work with new melodies, quickly turning your scratch recordings of new ideas into richer, deeper explorations. Musicians can also play instruments right into Songsmith, instead of singing."
Not a bad tool for the price, essentially a fancy metronome. I see this as a godsend for us though, youtube will explode from the sheer amount of "I'm the next Britney, where's my contract?" videos that will be crammed into it's tubes 2 hours after this hits the street.
This can't be real. It just can't. Someone wake me up.
No Microsoft commercial is complete with a bonafide Steve Ballmer freakout.
"My songs are getting a bit stale, but this is SO MUCH BETTER"
Too little, too late:
|Corman's Inferno |
Who the fuck takes a shower in a pitch black bathroom?
that's actually kind of fun
3:19-3:20 sums up my reaction perfectly.
People signed off on this.
There were people that thought this was a good idea.
This would be good for people with a band, and who have no talent or creativity.
Sing some lyrics into songsmith, the computer spits out the musical portion of the song, then just replay it on real instruments. Catchy pop songs every time, guaranteed!!!
Is there anything more annoying than a kid who takes singing very seriously?
I think I did it right. I rated it for its entertainment value. I found it unwatchable because of the kid. The miracle whip commercial, although completely retarded, garnered four of my precious stars for ironic enjoyment factor.
:29 Meatwad attending the 1939 World's Fair
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