Lurchi
5 seconds.
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Ghoul  57 seconds.
She should start doing drugs.
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revdrew I tried again. 24. Christ all fuck I don't care whether this intentional or not, the bitch needs to be banned from everything.
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kingarthur 56 seconds. If she's not twelve, she needs counseling.
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Dib The whole thing. But I've been drinking and didn't process a word.
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detc Alright, I'm drunk as hell and I made it through the whole thing. It took some effort, especially when she started making nonsense "I'M THINKING HUR DE DUHHH" sounds.
Bonus: load the whole video and jump forwards to 4:15
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Walt Henderson
2 seconds. Her voice did me in.
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goat Yeah, I had to put a stop to this at pretty much the first sound she produced.
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HarrietTubmanPI
Damnit. Poe was doing fine without her being submitted.
Five stars anyways because I have a penis.
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sliggy
20 seconds. You're not twelve anymore, bitch.
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chumbucket
2:52 Across The Universe..bye
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halon
"um, such as, like, like" at :42
I stopped there.
TRY HARDER TO BE WACKY.
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zatojones
i'm pretty sure this is some dumb LonelyGirl type bullshit
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Bored
Truly evil enough.
So, I can't see this generation ever actually working. That blows my mind.
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Samisyosam
Oh god... 4chan is here.
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petep tell me more about the purity of days gone by
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Poor Excuse
I'm the prince of patience, and I did it. I made it through. The technique applied was imagining parts of my body preventing sound from escaping this young banshee.
Feel free to try for yourselves, but be forewarned that it will leave some scar tissue on your mind.
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Charles Doesn't that require using the mute button? Doesn't that constitute cheating in this case? Of course, I don't blame you. Cannot watch this right now.
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B_Ko ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT PUTTING YOUR PEENOR IN HER PIEHOLE?
CUZ I WAS.
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poopskin
so.. this was like, voted out of the hopper or what?
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BillFisto
Why shouldn't rats eat a de la Poer as a de la Poer eats forbidden things? ... The war ate my boy, damn them all ... and the Yanks ate Carfax with flames and burnt Grandsire Delapore and the secret ... No, no, I tell you, I am not that daemon swineherd in the twilit grotto! It was not Edward Norrys' fat face on that flabby fungous thing! Who says I am a de la Poer? He lived, but my boy died! ... Shall a Norrys hold the land of a de la Poer? ... It's voodoo, I tell you ... that spotted snake ... Curse you, Thornton, I'll teach you to faint at what my family do! ... 'Sblood, thou stinkard, I'll learn ye how to gust ... wolde ye swynke me thilke wys?... Magna Mater! Magna Mater!... Atys... Dia ad aghaidh's ad aodaun... agus bas dunarch ort! Dhonas 's dholas ort, agus leat-sa!... Ungl unl... rrlh ... chchch...
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Bort
Made it through by pretending I was a very resigned Sharky watching a dancing chicken.
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BillFisto He's wishing you happy birthday. He's just doing a rooster dance for you.
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Keefu
She's an adorable troll/performance character.
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Severian
13 seconds
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allcaps
I made it to the part where she acted all precious and made no sense. Let me get liquored up a bit and we'll try another second.
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takewithfood
1 star for each minute I couldn't get through.
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goethe re scape
so after "fag", "hipster" is the most misused invective at POE right?
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futurebot She doesn't really strike me as a hipster though, waaay too extroverted and earnest.
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citrusmirakel Jesus, I think "hipster" trumps "fag" these days. I couldn't pinpoint when it started, but everyone who is both not overweight and seems to be enjoying themselves earns the label from the fat self-hating misanthropes that post here.
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Ghoul The hierarchy of misused invective:
1. Fag: Used to describe anyone on the internet that you disagree with.
2. Hipster: Used to describe any attractive person in vintage clothing that may or may not like post-rock.
3. Emo(s): Used to describe anybody on the internet that still manages to cling to their fading humanity, or goth kids.
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facek
Boxy + Pocky = Love
made it about 2 minutes
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glasseye
49 seconds of pure stupid.
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Billie_Joe_Buttfuck
16 seconds and I wanted someone to smack the back of her head.
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Kingofthehobos
I lasted, every damn second. Didn't help my misogyny at all though ill be honest. I hope she gets the abusive boyfriend who gives her herpes sooner in life then later.
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HoboTech
4chan should stay in 4chan
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wtf japan
How long before Spikebravo creates a video declaring his undying love for this concentrated mass of resonating obnoxiousness?
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Urburos
3:21.
"...my hair got longer you guys..."
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Hooker
25 seconds. I'm reminded of Xiphias's Effects of LSD on a Grocery Bag submission.
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Midnight Man
"I don't do drugs... and I don't have ADD either"
Well her appeal rapidly shrank
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Hugo Gorilla
Shut the fuck up.
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gorch
"And, like, um, and so, then..."
Oh man, I probably have less than 14 years left to make sure my 2-year-old doesn't become like this. Is that enough time?
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sliggy Just pay attention to her, if she gets enough attention from her parents she won't have to do stupid shit like this later.
Unless she actually is retarded.
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DWM
22 seconds.
Second attempt: 13.
If I were trapped in the room with her I'd strange her.
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DWM Oops.
I'm glad my inattentiveness can play a small part in helping expand your linguistic horizons.
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kingarthur "Get up here and gimme some o' that STRANGE!"
--some John Waters movie.
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Cap'n Profan!ty
she is like an adorable little squirrel.
where's my squirrelapult?
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punch drunk babies
3 1/2 minutes, but to be honest the last minute I was just scrolling through the comments.
Likely would have made it through the whole thing if I didn't run out of comments.
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Meerkat
She will grow up to run for Vice President.
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StanleyPain
Trying way, way, WAYYYYYY too hard.
But good luck on that.
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thatonegirl
One of my guy friends is a bit like the male equivalent of this chick. *shudders*
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Ben Richards
I made it through the whole thing. It doesn't get any better. Plus, who actually loves Across the Universe?
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Lindner Earlier in the year my niece inquired if I had ever heard of the Beatles. She was apparently looking forward to introducing me to them and was crestfallen to learn that being a Beatles fan wasn't something she invented.
... so how did this get out of the hopper?
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Jeff Fries Are you serious, tween girls love that movie.
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charmlessman
I did it. I made it through the whole thing.
Ow.
I'm not normally like this, I'm very liberal, but can't help thinking my cock in her mouth would shut her up. And all her spastic head movements would probably make it amazing.
The mascara smears on my stomach would be weird though.
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John Holmes Motherfucker There it is. The classic youtube comment.
I'm normally very liberal, except when I see a video that annoys me, and then I post rape fantasies.
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indierockbird
made it through the whole thing. don't know how.
TRY. HARDER.
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themilkshark
OW MY EYES
AND EARS
I WATCHED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING I HATE MYSELF
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Harold Manchester
I want to make her take a bath in hydrofluoric acid. That being said, I'm almost positive that's the reaction she's trying to evoke. I hope to fucking God there aren't people that are genuinely like this.
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Jeff Fries
boxxybabee, some serious advice: the only thing crayon-thick mascara like that says is "evil stepfather", so it it's a pain putting it on, don't bother.
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Foolish Motorcycle Accident
itsaneternityinthere
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Man Who Fights Like Woman
All the way through. You guys are worthless and weak.
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Urist
Hell, I had to watch it twice before I was finished...
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Spider Jerusalem
Her delivery reminds me of Maria Bamford.
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allcaps FUCK YOU. Insulting Maria Bamford like that!
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Menudo con queso
29 seconds, which is 9 seconds longer than I could make it through the The Secret Lady.
On my second try I saw that "such as like" has made it into the permanent vernacular, so 5 stars for the undying power of Miss Teen South Carolina, I guess...
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plopgun
Emo Phillips. Her intonation makes me think Emo Phillips.
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Xenocide
"I don't do drugs, and I don't have ADD either!"
Well, you're out of excuses, then.
One minute.
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Sudan no1
hey guys lets give the camwhore attention
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atheistgirl
Wow!
She just had a 5:07 brain fart.
I watched it all.
If I sat on her face do you think she would shut up?
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Stog
Stopped at 1:20 when she said BOXXXXYYY PLUS POCKKYYYYY EQUALS LOVVVVVVEEEEE.
This is definitely going in HLSS. Boxxy, you are my favorite girl. Just don't fucking meet me in person or I'm going to slam your head in my car door repeatedly.
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mashedtater
59 seconds.
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Frank Rizzo
I would totally put up with 5 minutes and 7 seconds of this girls ramblings in order to bang her in the pooper
too much eye makup
im drumkk
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King of Balls
My anus is clenched so tightly after watching that video I swear the pressure could snap a maglight. Fuck. One star for every chicken I had to strangle after watching this.
That's one "babee" I'd like to "boxxy".
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PurpleXVI
3 fucking seconds. Jesus.
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Pie Boy
5:07 but I was gripping the fuck out of my chair the whole time
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Bone_Vulture
The remixes are wonderful, by the way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13QmpqF9G8E
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roughnready66
this one time at band camp...
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Wytze!
She's not taking drugs?? pfffft. She's doing it wrong.
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Athetosis
The rapidly changing facial expressions frighten me. The low-framerate webcam doesn't help either.
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katheudo
35 Seconds and that was pushing it. Christ.
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sparklefatty
1:13
Some of the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
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Harveyjames
2 seconds
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Tameriaen
2:03 moved on to bigger better things
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Hooper_X
It's not that MY FEEBLE BRAIN CAN'T HANDLE THE AWESOME POWER OF BOXEEE BAYBEE or whatever, I just seriously have better shit to do with my time than watch this dumb bint ramble for five minutes about who knows the fuck what.
There are cat videos to be watched!
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HarveyTibbar
Got all the way through. Had to minimize though, that's probably cheating. Also I ate my fist a few times.
Jesus Christ what the hell woman WHAT THE HELL?!
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Charles
Couldn't even fap to it. Thank god someone called me at 3:02
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thebaronsdoctor
Someone remind me why 4chan loves this...Thing?
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poples
Young girl talking about herself.
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=51141
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Goethe and ernie
Well, five stars for this turning up in the paper. No stars for the video itself.
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Geoff Marr
1:26. She's fucked.
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Spastic Avenger
Are you all posting how long it took you to splurt?
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THA SUGAH RAIN
Shes a younnng girlll talking about herrrselff.
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=51141
"bang her in the pooper"
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Pacobird
32 seconds, but only because I really like How I Met Your Mother.
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fluffy
42 seconds, no end in sight.
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Ashenblade
Did it all. Does that mean there's something wrong with me?
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twinkieafternoon
Whole thing.
SHE BE ROLLLLIIINNNGG!!
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Adam O'Connell
1.05 I thought I'd try to be a tough guy and sit all the way through it but she beat me.
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pineapplejuicer
parents, hit your children. or this happens.
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klingerbgoode
She needs to be slapped repeatedly.
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GeneralJameson
I made it 38 seconds............but I am on recreational medication right now...
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KnowFuture
People starting a sentence with the word "so" = nails on a fucking chalkboard.
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flotsam
I don't get the fanaticism behind her. I thought that people hated Valley Girl Speech. I think that because her fans are attracted to her it makes what she's saying seem ten times better in their minds. It's either that or they just don't care what she's saying because they hit mute and masturbate.
It's frustrating that people are applauding her for acting this way. I know that people think it's cute, but she's not a child. People should start expecting more from women or they'll all end up like this. (Assuming that there are some out there that act reasonably, feel free to make jokes that there are none.) If you're fine with that, then I question your ethics and taste.
I watched the whole thing while cringing. By the end, I wanted to retaliate against whatever created this.
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John Holmes Motherfucker This is a big part of why people love her. The violent reaction that you're not capable of questioning. The conviction that your rage is morally superior to a child's innocent joke. Rage on, motherfuckers.
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Meatsack Jones
0:51 Moonites?
2:12, when trolls were the subject of something. My brain has now reached tapioca.
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hammsangwich
1:06 but only because I was amazing her taking a cumshot.
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John Holmes Motherfucker
Yeah, I know. Isn't Boxxy awesome? I've seen this like a hundred times, and it just gets funnier and funnier.
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vanilla_killa
4:00, I literally felt sick.
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John Holmes Motherfucker
Two years and counting.
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John Holmes Motherfucker
This video changed my life, and this is where I first encountered it. I'm internet friends with her mom now.
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John Holmes Motherfucker
The original Boxxy videos were made by Catie Wayne in January of 2008, when was 15, for a couple of her friends on Gaia online.
Gaia is a site that is inspired by anime, and I think it's pretty clear that Gaia is the key to understanding Boxxy's character. Catie is playing the role of her Gaia avatar, and that's a cartoon. She's made six videos as Boxxy (this is the third) and the eye makeup continues to become more stylized, and successful at approximating the look of anime eyes. There's so much more going on here than most of you see, but I'm not going to waste my time trying to sell her.
Catie just left those first two Boxxy videos out there, and forgot about them, until the internet started to notice. It took about a year.
What happened when it got to 4chan hasn't got much to do with her. She responded to her first 4chan fans, like the kid who wanted to sing Hey Jude to her, with this video, and that was all she ever did, with no idea what she was getting into. After that, Boxxy became the object of a "4chan civil war", which was every bit as much of an explosion of faggotry as it sounds.
As a noncombatant and no lover of 4chan, I really don't want to take sides, but it started with Boxxy being a weapon, and wound up with Catie being a target. Btards hunted her down and tried to silence her. Her youtube account was hacked, They devoted a ridiculous amount of attention to learning her real name, and then they released her documents to the internet. They organized trips to her house, and left "ANON" on her front porch in petals from a neighbor's flower garden. (These may have been fans, but how was she to tell the difference). People are still posting rape porn and photoshopped Bukkake porn on Unichan.org.
Why do some people love Boxxy so much? Because some people hate her. And we hate them.
The famous copypasta from ED:
“I like Boxxy, and here's why. I'm not post pubescent (over 25), I have a girlfriend, and I don't fantasize about her. I like her because she is the antidote, the antithesis, the hemlock in the cup to Internet Tough Guyism.
I was surprised to see that, for all its posturing, /b/ really does hold one thing sacred: its "bad muthaf*cka" image of itself. /b/ really believes that it's frightening, that it's tougher than a Ford Chevy, that it's badass masculinity personified, in a sense. And, before, there were very few ways to disrupt this image, to give it a good hard kick in the shins.
And then Boxxy came along. Boxxy love is everything /b/ hates - passive, gentle, adorable, sweet. It gives without asking, it loves without asking in return. Instead of being aggressively faux-adult, it's happily faux-childlike. That's why Boxxy became a meme - because she DIDN'T want the attention; because she provided no pics (as the /b/tards will attest). As a result, Boxxy turned into the most successful way to troll the /b/tards ever devised. It actually makes the gore and violence and sexism and racism fantards squeal, because it hits them where it hurts - in their image of themselves. How can they be tough, scary guys when their favorite hangout is one long love poem to Boxxy love? So that's why I love Boxxy - the sound of /b/'s humiliation is sweet music to my ears."
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John Holmes Motherfucker
Oh, and she's incredibly talented. Like I've said before, people who don't understand that remind of the idiots who thought the Sex Pistols didn't know how to play music. I can appreciate that, like opera, Boxxy is hard to sit through at first, but try and take notice of how she uses her eyes to punctuate her monologue. For the past two years, since I've been aware of it, I've never seen anybody who can use their eyes like that. She must be aware of where her eyes are every second that she's talking, and the framing is pretty amazing. There are times when she seems to be poking her head out through that little window, She seems to know how she's being framed at every minute, but she's never obviously looking at a monitor. If it's so easy, why is no one else doing it?
Likewise the lighting. Eventually, you realize that she isn't sitting in front of a black backdrop, she's sitting in a room surrounded by objects that are in darkness, while she's lit. It's probably a standard trick that theater people know, but I've never seen anyone else do that in a youtube vlog-style video. Alex Jones tried to do something similar in a video, and it looked like shit.
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John Holmes Motherfucker
"On this day 2009"
And now it's 2013. Boxxy, your fifteen minutes of fame are just about over.
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CJH when her 15 minutes are well and truly over do you think you will stop making videos about her? psssh nah
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John Holmes Motherfucker Catie has plenty of time. Me, not so much. My Boxxy remix videos were essentially exercises that I used to teach myself video editing. I have to move on now.
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John Holmes Motherfucker
The tiitle is astonishingly clueless. Or maybe it's ironic? Actually, i think it's both.
To sum up: Boxxy is an anime character. I don't think my friends at POETV want me to go through all the explanations, but If you just want someone to painlessly tell you what Boxxy is, trust me: "anime charcter" is the answer.
Here she is in her 2012 Halloween costume: Hatsune Miku
http://youtu.be/4c2JWOCHEDM
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