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Desc:The GREAT news is these things are like $7 online.
Category:Humor, Short Films
Tags:fatties, cold steel, Y chromosome, waste of produce, premier snake killer
Submitted:imairlax
Date:03/25/09
Views:3506
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Comment count is 38
NewHeavenSalesman
fuck you, can
dr tits
"a must have whip for city people and country dwellers alike"

kennydra
I think the wiffleball demo is their most bizarre yet.
dichotic1
the shorts he wears make it into some sort of SFW fetish clip

TeenerTot
I think it's supposed to demonstrate how you can deflect bullets. When they're lobbed at you.

Wonko the Sane
extremely effective and breaking easily breakable things.


Jefka
What's with the bizarre martial arts thing they show midway through that doesn't even really require a Sjambok? Couldn't I just whip my assailant like he were one of those watermelons?
Cheese
Your giant, wiggly stick will be ripped from your soft, pretty hands almost instantly and will be found driven into your anus when police arrive.

kiint
i think they used them in South Africa a lot during Apartheid, if you catch my drift
imairlax
i wasn't gonna say anything but...yeah

fermun
The colors they com in are black and brown, for extra irony as you beat minorities!

simon666
I give my copy cat comment to you, I didn't even see it before I posted

mcsancherson
sjamboks used to be made from dried rhino penises so odds are they weren't invented by white people!

Frank Rizzo
cattleprod? Dont those require potential differences in electric potential?

5 stars for the wiffle bat, thats hardcore.
Repomancer
NEWSFLASH: People drove cattle before they had electricity.

chumbucket
in my neighborhood those wiffle hits would, at best, get him a single

kamlem
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=4779
simon666
Originally developed in the British colonies of Africa to oppress the blacks!
athodyd
When facing an oncoming horde of Zulu tomatoes, eggs, and wiffle balls, be sure to don your official Cold Steel Battle Shorts and Action Sneakers
Hammer Falls
Finally, someone has invented something that can break an egg. Truly, we live in the modern age.
Kumquatxop
only if it is on a traffic cone

mcsancherson
ATTENTION: if you post on the internet and you own guns / a conceal and carry permit, you look exactly like these fat dudes to a normal person
Cleaner82
If you're going to carry an three-foot long weapon, just be a man and make it a pool cue.
Wonko the Sane
f you're going to carry an three-foot long weapon, just be a beard and make it a decorative sword.

Chinballs
If your going to carry a three foot long weapons, just be and abnormal fetishist and carry a giant double dong dildo.

Repomancer
Hehe -- I have a sjambok (of the hippo-hide sort). Believe me, you do SO not want to get hit with one. The South African riot police carried them for a reason. Suckers *hurt*.
Baldr
Imagine being selected for jury duty. In your case, a man attacked the defendant, who proceeded to beat his assailant to death with his cold steel sjambok. The charges are murder, and the accused claims to have acted in self defense.

What would it take to convince you that the guy who owned a sjambok and managed to end up in a situation where he needed to use it for self defense, wasn't a fucking psychopath who went looking for a situation he could overreact to?
Caminante Nocturno
If the attacker had been dressed as a watermelon, egg, or whiffle ball, then I'd probably vote not guilty.

takewithfood
I'll admit, I'm tired of using second-rate snake killers.
Hooper_X
So aside from the uncomfortable apartheid connotations, what does this thing get me that one of those telescoping batons, a reinforced cane, or a fucking tire iron doesn't?
fermun
Mocked.

Camonk
Uh, did you not see that you can take out your big knife, theatrically cut off the leather thong, choke up on the business end, and use the last six inches of the handle to basically punch a watermelon?

Let's see a telescoping baton do that.

No, seriously. That sounds like a good video.

zatojones
He has the diction of Dr. Steve Bruehl

For yer helfth!
allcaps
The Sjambok: Only slightly less effective than a baseball bat.
poopskin
OK So I like, ordered the DVD after seeing one of these, and it's hilarious but I have recurring nightmares where these people come over to my house and hack me up with a fucking katana.
sunisevil
Finally, we can now bring Gallagher into the twenty-first century!
Old_Zircon
This video just might need a MELON CRAZY tag, now that you mention it.

OgreMkIV
1:41 - They're so mean, they step on puppies too.
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