Merzbau      My card is die-cut! My card is foil-stamped! My card is EMBOSSED!
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GusPlease      It's its own subtle way, this is the most evil video on this site by a longshot.
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kelpfoot This video is either parody or Scientology. There's no other explanation.
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mon666ster      25 years to design a pop-up book. Now that's results!
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splatterbabble      What do you do guaranteed? Look like Kevin Trudeau?
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kelpfoot      Good to see the American Psycho tag is already up.
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zatojones      damn he's got me pegged. I guarantee NOTHING
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Big Beef Burritos Supreme      His entire life is a novelty beer mat in horrible colors.
http://www.webspores.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/photo-5. jpg
http://fletchergiglio.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/106709219 _6c8be9703b.jpg
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dementomstie the first two links come up with broken or missing pages on my computer, but the guy designed a card for Kevin Mitnik? That almost makes up for how much of an asshole he is. Wait no, no it doesn't.
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Wytze!      I want to be this man.
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grimcity      That's not a card, it's a brochure.
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The Townleybomb      Yeah, well MY business card is EMBOSSED on the HOOD of a CESSNA AIRPLANE. It won't FIT in your OFFICE because it doesn't BELONG in your OFFICE.
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Blank_Slate      Oh YEAH?! Well, I don't even NEED a business card! I just take a CRAP ON THEIR FACE!
I like CUT RIGHT TO CHASE! ka-POW! HOWDY, GLAD TO MEET YA!
JUST LIKE THAT! AND even if they don't LIKE me, they'll never FORGET me. NEVER!
WHY? Because psychological scars last FOREVER! Call me a LIAR but I have YET to met ANYONE who forgets MY NAME AFTER I TAKE A CRAP ON THEIR FACE!
CAN YOUR FANCY CARD DO THAT? HUH? CAN IT?!
I DIDN'T THINK SO...
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Xiphias      American Psycho 3 is pretty awesome.
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Jefka      Who the fuck is this man, anyway?
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zatojones he doesn't owe you any explanations
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Jefka Or Billy Buttsex after his POETV ban, maybe.
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boner This is my business card. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My business card is my best friend. It is my life. My business card, without me, is useless. Without my business card, I am useless.
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Tstyle      I feel so sorry for the children in those pictures.
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boner They came with the frames
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fatatty He doesn't have any children. His penis doesn't fit in a vagina because it doesn't BELONG in a vagina.
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Iakchos      25 years
what
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Millard      A resoLEWtion
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Lurchi      Stop mocking pentheus.
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cognitivedissonance      What the fuck does he have against Strathmore? They make a great Bristol. 50 years of Edward Gorey's entire career can't be dismissed.
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pastorofmuppets      Man I hate it when people give you weird sized business cards. Even the vertical ones are annoying.
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bopeton Me too I usually throw them out immediately, often while rolling my eyes at the fact that they expected me to think it was 'creative' to give me that shit.
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Mayberry Pancakes      I'm going to ask HR if they can do this for me.
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bopeton      25 years to design that? Sorry bro, not hired.
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Jeff Fries      I haven't seen someone get that worked up over glossy paper since Howard Dean told Jon Stewart that he was going to save the DNC with these doorhangers
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Jeff Fries Also: how much of a loser control freak of a hustler do you have to be when you end every single one of your sentences with an ellipse so absolutely no one can get a word in edgewise
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Phusis      Compare to http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=29406
Rude Dude would absolutely break this man's soul.
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Foolish Motorcycle Accident      He reminds me of the six-minute abs guy from There's Something About Mary
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Aoi      I spend 25 years designing a single business card! What do YOU do?
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Robin Kestrel      Nice delivery but the card is meh. What does it shoot? Nothing? Oh. Oh, well, it's nice, I guess. But it's not a fucking CATAPULT.
http://www.instructables.com/id/Cardapult-the-Business-Card-Ca tapult/
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rev.dinosaur It gets better when you imagine that the jump cuts are there to remove footage of him blowing lines off the card.
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zerobackup      The part he didn't show is how the little guy unfolds AGAIN to reveal his huge erect penis, y'know to impress ladies with.
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William Burns      I'd hire him.
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GlennFinito      5 for comments all around
Also: pop-up book.
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Camonk      The worst thing is he forgot to put his phone number on it.
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Caminante Nocturno      If I got a business card from this guy, I would pick my teeth with it.
Right in front of him.
And then criticize its effectiveness at cleaning my teeth.
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That guy      What if your apprehension is your trepidation, then what?
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Nikon      I want him to give that card to Carcrusher.
http://youtu.be/gCKjctTWIsw
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Nikon Cardcrusher god damn it.
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FABIO The adult version of handing in a fancy lamented school paper.
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