dichotic1
and they're getting better at these.

apiaryist
Not a vampire. A lizard-person.

glasseye
An inhuman source of pure evil.

Jeff Fries
A harmless penguin

Caminante Nocturno
A golem crafted from feces.

kennydra
yeah

Chet
Yeah, but really the whole play donkey kong with you...

Banal Intercourse
Shorty

Self Referencing + No New Schtick = 1 star
Gets a bonus star because of the girl.

theSnake
I think you've only half helped him here. "Shorty" is a slang term of endearment. For a while, it was used to refer to both females and children, however the latter has fallen out of use.

Baldr
Urban Dictionary is a remarkably useful tool for keeping up with the jive in the 21st century.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shorty

Paranatural
I thought they were saying Shaday, as well. I figured it was some rapper or something.

Ursa_minor
Exactly

PurpleXVI
I would pay money to see Ron Paul rapping or otherwise singing, for real.

Nikon
That got my 5 star.

Goethe and ernie
Exactly. "To what do you refer, short-ay?"

Nikon
I think so.

j lzrd / swift idiot
I can accept this future.

EVILdogshu
Nothing will ever beat the one with the angry gorilla.