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Desc:Just what it says on the tin.
Category:Humor, Arts
Tags:standup, Patton Oswalt, cheetos, orange claw of failure
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Comment count is 19
MongoMcMichael - 2009-05-24
At the moment, I'm living in Bulgaria. We don't have cheese-flavored Cheetos, but we do have bacon-flavored and pizza-flavored Cheetos.

Bulgaria fucking rules.
Camonk - 2009-05-24
Never have my feelings for a snack food been summed up so perfectly. "Hey do you like the Magnetic Fields?"
Cleaner82 - 2009-05-24
I was about to post the need for an 'orange claw of failure' tag, but obviously Knuckles has his head in the right place.
thebaronsdoctor - 2009-05-24
Now I'm hungry.
James Woods - 2009-05-25
I'm putting my shoes on to go to the corner store as soon as I submit this comment and these stars.

HURF BLURF DUH - 2009-05-25
The Costco Lutheran Picnic size Cheetos is the best deal for your money.
mashedtater - 2009-05-25
He didn't mention how they stain you for not an afternoon but through at least two showers, but I will forgive this because that was so funny.
Xenocide - 2009-05-25
I love how Patton is most famous for playing a damn cartoon rat whose taste in food is the total opposite of his.
SharoKham - 2009-05-25
Patton also likes gourmet food. One of his current hobbies is splurging on gourmet meals that would make Remy the Rat blush.

fluffy - 2009-05-25
Considering most of his routines are based around making fun of junk food and the people who eat it, I'm pretty sure that this monologue wasn't intended to be a sincere expression of his appreciation for Cheetos.

glendower - 2009-05-25
So this is why I don't pick up chicks. I have a mouthful of cheetos every time I make a move.
voodoo_pork - 2009-05-25
That's probably just one reason.

AgentOrange - 2009-05-29
That sounds like a funny nightmare.

'Hey ladie-blarghh bflaaaaa crunch crunch crunch'

BHWW - 2009-05-25
Yes, the orange claw of failure. I have experienced that, with the attendant shame.

That's why I don't eat Cheetos anymore.
Erix - 2009-05-25
Corman's Inferno - 2009-05-25
Ease up, pardner. It'll be out later this year.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2009-05-26
Also if they get into a carpet at all, they will make that carpet stink of Cheetos forever.
TheDevil'sWhore - 2009-05-31
Is this a problem at your house?

Caminante Nocturno - 2012-08-16
It says "Cheetos" on the tin.
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