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Desc:I don't know if I spelled his name right. I also don't care.
Category:Educational, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:penn, douchebag, atheism, boring, poor choice of camera angle
Submitted:Camonk
Date:09/07/09
Views:3800
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Comment count is 76
Jeriko-1
Agnostics sure get shit on from both sides.

It always seems like human opinion humps the fuck out of black and white. There are many, many shades of grey but it seems like the moment somebody strays from the polar absolute they get mouth raped for being milquetoast.
Hooker
It also seems to happen with an elevated level of frequency on the poe network.

I'm not 100% sure if the difference between agnostic and atheist is what it's come to popularly mean, but based on the common usages of it, I like to consider myself an agnostic because it seperates me from dickheads like Penn Jillette and Richard Dawkins who take a militaristic stance on their disbelief in God. What the fuck do I care if people believe some guy created the Universe? It certainly seems to give a lot of people a sense of stability and happiness, and I don't begrudge them that.

ProfessorChaos
Randal Munroe makes the next point rather eloquently: http://xkcd.com/154/

Syd Midnight
a lot of agnostics are atheists who just aren't big enough jerks to act the way self-described atheists act

kiint
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"Angela Lansbury Masturbates in a Tub"

futurebot
"It always seems like human opinion humps the fuck out of black and white."

what the fuck are you talking about

poorwill
The thing that specifically pisses me off about people who are *pointedly* agnostic is that NO SHIT you don't know, mastermind. You and everybody else. I mean it's an okay descriptor if you really, truly are on the fence - but it's sort of hard for those who believe differently to not to take it as a meaningful jab in the ribs - and the only common useage of the word is 'nobody can know!' which is about as obnoxious.

Anyway, fuck agnostics, fuck atheists, fuck deists, fuck theists and ESPECIALLY fuck pantheists.

poorwill
whoops, that should be 'the only OTHER common useage of the word is'

CornOnTheCabre
usually when I say "I'm agnostic", i'm actually trying to say "i don't want to talk to you about religion, because you look and sound like a fucking psycho"

sosage
When someone is being pointedly agnostic, they are trying to get that "no duh" concept through everyone's thick skull. Yet the people they are talking about still want an excuse to treat another set of people like shit.

Also...this guy catches bullets with his teeth at the Rio.

Keefu
Comparing Dawkins to Penn is pretty gross. Dawkins provides well-reasoned and articulate arguments against most religious beliefs. He is an actual scientist and, despite whatever image you may hold in your head, isn't out to purposely offend the average religious person nor do I think he wants to. Dawkins has long been a strong proponent of free speech and expression. He also supports loads of social, democratic, and liberal causes. He is a pretty decent dude.

Keefu
Also note, "what the fuck do I care if people believe some guy created the universe" isn't really far off from the position Dawkins would hold more if it weren't for the exception that a good deal of those people who believe that some guy created the universe hold a lot of political and financial power that has been used to actively interfere with and subvert scientific learning/progress (See "Of Pandas and People", the Scopes Trial, Hovind, etc.) or to actively suppress human rights (Prop. 8 as a more recent example though there are countless more). It holds a position of power that no other belief system with the tendency in the supernatural does.

I don't really care for Penn because he tends to wallow in his own self-satisfaction and holds painfully bad political viewpoints, but the needless shafting of Dawkins as "militaristic" or a "dickhead" is endlessly tiresome.

Keefu
i wrote all that and no one's going to read it, didn't i

oddeye
I read it

Syd Midnight
It's fun if you forget he's Penn the magician, and then it's just a fat neckbeard atheist douchebag explaining his fucktarded philosophy to the webcam balanced on his quivering FUPA.

This is easily the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen him do, and that's saying a lot.
Sudan no1
Add 'libertarian' to the list of neckbeard properties, and you're right.

manfred
ponytail

mcsancherson
why you mad syd why you mad?

dont cry syd

Randroid
Hey man, I know what we were supposed to read for today but I've got this much more significant book right here and that's Atlas Shrugged. Have you read it? I think it'll change your life... *eats five dollar footlong*

Patton
Thank you. This guy could not get anymore un-amazing or insignificant!!! Also, he's obviously unaware of the phil. entanglement w/ the concept of knowledge and what can be known and the concept of belief and what a belief really is. Is a belief, known???? etc. etc. etc. What a moron?? Really, a basic course in philosophy at any community college would have covered this problem. All that time on his hands as a celebrity to think really hard about these metaphysical problems and this...this is what he's come up with?! If my God commands me to kill my son and I refuse, that doesn't necessarily mean I don't beleive in God. It's possible that I'm simply disobedient. Look, consider this Penn: Disobedience was a favorite passtime for the Isrealites throughout most of the Old Testament. Infact disobedience and neglect were the causes of the Babylonian captivity.
mcsancherson
haw haw haw yes i sure agree with/understand/have read whatever the fuck all these words say

kiint
stars for you sir

Bort
If my God commands me to kill my son and I dismiss it as an auditory hallucination, THEN you might say I am an atheist. If I interpret it as the voice of God then I must believe in God, now mustn't I?

Reminder: Penn is the guy who scoffs at Creationists for not listening to scientists, and then scoffs at Global Warming because you can't trust those scientists anyway.

futurebot
hey Patton!!!!!!!! kill yourself?????

Toenails
I'm glad I'm not the only one that turned my brain off at that wall-of-text.

Patton
Thanks futurebot and toenails. Glad you enjoyed the read. See you next video :)

glasseye
If you believe the Babylonian conquest of Israel was motivated by an angry invisible sky-fairy, you're an idiot.

Rodents of Unusual Size
It's like an elderly sphinx is telling me some riddle that I just fell asleep to.
RedHood
5 for this.

CornOnTheCabre
reinforced

KnowFuture
Way to take a stand on that whole no children killing thing you rebel you.
fluffy
That was one hell of a strawman argument, too.

Bort
All the patriarchs of the Old Testament were in the habit of arguing with God, and even about matters not involving their offspring. Penn fails again.

Agnostics are not that hard to define: if someone asks "do you think there's a god or gods", the three basic answers are "yes", "no", and "not sure". Agnostics are the third answer, and it's neither necessary nor helpful to come up with more convoluted definitions.

poorwill
How about 'I doubt it'? It's more descriptive than 'I don't know' and in my case it's more honest. If I'm in a frisky mood I'll say 'I don't know, but I doubt it'. Redundant, but some people are stupid and need special attention.
Really I think all the -ist/-ic labels are pretty much bullshit - it takes less time to say exactly what I think than it does to muddle through all the stupid fucking misunderstandings that are associated with that crap.

Anyway, Penn Jillette is a fat fucking cow and a Randroid. Fuck him.

Witty_Pop_Culture_Reference
My answer is "I don't care'. Because I don't. If I'm a good person and there is a God, they will care more about whether I'm a good person than what statue I worshipped, and if there is no God, then I'm still a good person and hopefully left the world a better place.

It's a stupid game. The only way to win is not to play.

poorwill
Sure sure, but if somebody asks me a question I try to answer as honestly and directly as I can. Even if it's a stupid question. Especially if it's a stupid question. Passive aggressive, avoidant non-answers are fun too though!

Syd Midnight
"I'm agnostic" is my polite way of saying "I don't know and neither do you, lets drop it". It means I don't want to START arguments.

dead_cat
Where would, "Not sure, but I *sincerely* doubt it" fit in?

Smellvin
I think you guys are missing the point. He can just pick up a camera, not put on any clothes, and just talk about whatever's popped into his head. He doesn't even have to present it well, edit it, wear clothes, or even be terribly interesting... and he gets PAID.

I need to figure out how to do that.
Witty_Pop_Culture_Reference
It's called being a camwhore.

Witty_Pop_Culture_Reference
Oh, in case that sounds like I disapprove, I think it's actually pretty great.

takewithfood
His decision to film this from the point of view of a cheap Vegas crack whore confounds and disturbs me. Maybe this WAS filmed by a cheap Vegas crack whore, and this is just how he sounds during sex.

-1 star due to subsequent nausea.
Caminante Nocturno
It really suck when someone you used to like becomes full of themselves.
boner
The greatest Penn Says video is the one where they accidentally let anybody put annotations on it... but it's probably gone now
CornOnTheCabre
put cheeseburgers in me!

Walker
-100 stars for the video title submission here on POE TV.

It doesn't seem like anyone has any trouble making up their own mind about this guy. Why do you need to state your own view in what is supposed to be the TITLE of the video?


futurebot
STOP DESTROYING OUR STANDARDS OF NEUTRALITY

Camonk
In my defense, I was pretty drunk when I submitted it.

voodoo_pork
That explains why you couldn't check the spelling on his name?

JUST TYPE IT INTO GOOGLE. IT SPELLS IT FOR YOU.

Cleaner82
WEEPY VAGINA AHOY

Camonk
Had I been sober, I doubt I'd have checked the spelling, to be honest.

Syd Midnight
I'm pretty sure Penn presented his beliefs in the title of the video when he presented it to others, Camonk is simply doing the same when titling his video exhibit. PoE is all about pointing and laughing.

Syd Midnight
The PoeTV Mission Statement is "Haha look at this"

kwash
that's the best way i've ever heard it put.

chumbucket
he needs a new deck of cards

spending way too much effort to make a label for something that describes a disbelief in something
themilkshark
Because the "belief" is a source of misinformation, stubborness, self centered indulgence and hatred disguised as the Easter Bunny who makes you live in the clouds when you die if you collect all 120 stars.

RoyCastle
before he gets too proud of that hammer drop at the end he needs to read "fear and trembling" by Kierkegaard
Three Gee
five stars for finally using that comparative philosophy degree

Tuan Jim
Double chin cam. 1 star.

Submission title. 1 star.



Goethe and ernie
Libertarians are fat and stupid and they live on the internet
memedumpster
This is not the douchiest thing he's done (which I still think is his Preacher introduction), but it's certainly the douchiest thing he's put the least effort in.

A semiotician he is not.
themilkshark
Hi, I'm an atheist just like Penn. I'm sorry you are offended by atheists and their lack of beliefs, but I'm offended that I was raised to believe in nonsense designed to easily orchestrate the masses. As it stands, at this moment, I'm not questioning whether or not I believe in any particular theology. I'm content considering it all byproducts of human condition designed to provide security or govern your decisions.

I have no fear of punishment for my actions in the afterlife. If I did, I'd be agnostic.
Patton
I think you're missing the point. Being an atheist does not make Penn a boring douche. Penn makes Penn a boring douche whether he's talking atheism or performing mediocre, second rate, magic trick hand-me-downs.

themilkshark
I've watched a handful of episodes of his show Bullshit! and found them to be some of the most entertaining TV around, I enjoyed his short lived radio show a lot, and grew up with P&T's humorous magic act so I have to say I disagree with you, I think Penn's fucking brilliant. I will say that his political views are shit, but as far as his opinions on the biggest evil of human society being organized religion I'm right there with him.

Camonk
Then you're just the kind of fatuous, uninformed, easily-lead atheist/libertarian doof that Penn likes. And good for you. I hope you two are happy together.

memedumpster
You are not an atheist just like Penn. Your explanation of yourself is way more eloquent and self aware. As far as the biggest evil on human society, I tend to think of nature as having the greatest potential to destroy us utterly, but as far as human created evils go, religion is most likely number one.

Syd Midnight
I agree with whomever said that Penn being an atheist is a natural outgrowth of Penn being a douchebag. His brand of atheists do discredit to everyone else, but they're fun to watch sometimes because they'll point at religious people and scream "GOD IS JUST MAKE-BELIEVE YOU PHILOSOPHICALLY RETARDED MORONS". I'd like to do that sometimes but I don't because I'm not a tremendous asshole of a person.

Syd Midnight
i might do it passive-aggressively in forum comments tho

themilkshark
Camonk, I'm not a libertarian, I'm a fiscally conservative Democrat. Not quite sure why you think atheists are uninformed or easily lead... If I were easily lead I would still be a Roman Catholic which is the religion I was raised into. I'm glad you submitted this, just wanted to point out the validity of his argument in this poorly shot vlog.
Camonk
I'm just messin' with you cause you write hella long paragraphs.

mashedtater
camonk! you rascal!

phalsebob
This cam is affixed to his girthsome bellybutton, isn't it?
EvilHomer
COMMENTS!
HP Lovesauce
he's so smug he assumes the bad camera angle has no affect on him.

he's wrong - not that it matters.
FABIO
Dr. Raymond Stantz came up with the best reply to "Do you believe in God?"

"Never met him."
Waugh
you ever see the episode of 'bullshit!' about marshal arts? the one where their conclusion that the best way to deal with violent confrontations is to just hand over your fat wallet and your rolex? yeah...
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