I cannot adequately express the pride I would feel at having an honored guest like Windows 7 in my home.
Now loading Windows 7 Party....
2 men, 2 women = check
1 black person = check
1 old person = check
1 asian person = ERROR - ASIAN CANNOT BE FOUND
Windows 7 Party Failure
(A)bort, (R)etry, or (C)ancel?
Windows 7 .. lunch party?
There's no way that white guy on the left is not some smug mac guy.
Make sure to install Windows 7 a few days before time. Lord knows you'll need the time to find that INI file.
So...when do they start having sex?
This is fucking terrible. Fire this useless, overexpensive marketing department and START OVER.
There are 102 VIDEOS IN THIS ACCOUNT. It's like a great waterfall of money.
Evil knows no bounds.
|wtf japan |
You should have seen my Outlook Express launch party back in '97. Shit was cray-craaaaay!!
Products! We can buy!
looks like a great ice-breaker for the swap orgy
Later on in the Launch Party they enjoyed some nice Marijuana cigarettes and snorted large amounts of cocaine off of each others' private parts while they figured out ways to prostrate themselves before the overwhelming masculinity of Bill Gates.
They concluded their casual evening, nostrils slightly bloodied and eyes slightly reddened, by swapping sexual partners and documenting the experience using Windows 7 software.
I was under the impression that token black people had to dress up in whiteface for Windows 7 Launch Parties.
Also, why is this directed like an episode of Battlestar Galactica? Is the old woman a cylon?
Don't you know that HAND HELD is the LATEST RAGE? It adds SO MUCH to the feeling of REALISM! (Also: tight shot, wide shot, tight shot, wide shot, tight shot, wide shot, tight shot, wide shot, tight shot, wide shot, tight shot, wide shot, tight shot, wide shot. All from the same angle.)
1:00: Watch out for snakes!
Hicks was absolutely wrong about marketing. Let the Buyer Beware has always been the rule in any marketplace, and that sonofabitch across the souk has always had every right to goad, seduce, entertain, and otherwise convince you to buy his dodgy goods. If he develops more sophisticated techniques of doing so, then I guess you're going to have to become an adult and take responsibility for the way you spend your money. But no, blame marketing, because they make the choices about the way you spend your money. Jesus wept.
If you're not a sophisticated enough thinker to see through marketing--the best of which is easy to see through for anyone but an idiot--then you have no business handling currency. If you can't keep a quarter in your pocket, stay out of the god-damned candy store.
This is a stupid fucking idea, though.
So you were that marketing guy trapped in the audience when he got to that bit?
Nope, just irritated with certain aspects of the Hicks philosophy that seem to want to put diapers on consumers. Would have liked to have seen him in concert, though.
MAYBE I'M JUST SICK OF SEEING MY ENVIRONMENT TURN INTO HELL'S ART GALLERY, YOU FUCKING REPTILE
Don't fuck with the bloodlines, pal, or you'll end up like your Pal David Icke.
You're not funny and neither is the Mountain Dew ad covering the city bus.
Jesus Christ, let's not impair the beauty of that glorious piece of machinery.
Your face isn't too pretty either. I'd still hate to see it covered in advertising.
Well, the face in question might be prettier if it were subsidized by a few ads. Just as I'm sure there is some bargain between Mountain Dew and your city bus that works to the benefit of both.
Yes. Bargains like this happen all the time in your town, too. It works like this. Person A exchanges goods or services or currency for something that Person B wishes to exchange.
Why, it's highly possible, I'd say even probable, that the advertising that gives you seizures actually pays for the rack where you put your recumbent bike, or the handrail you hold on to with one hand while shaking the other at the immense evil of commerce that takes place above the level of beads and feathers. The bus is happy and Mountain Dew is happy. You are unhappy, but then you don't have to ride the giant evil ugly capitalist bus. You have the choice not to participate in the exchange. See how it works?
So you are NOT for real.
More real in most ways than Bill Hicks at this point, poor guy. Wait. I wonder if he ever let anyone advertise for one of his shows, since it's against all moral principles to do so. Eh, nevermind. Point's been made.
Things which are not funny but are apparently hilarious amongst Windows Party Hosts:
"Uploading pictures, which is his favorite."
"Everyone crowded around the computer in my kitchen."
"Install Windows 7."
Okay, the last one is a little funny.
Haaay. This is so not a marketing gimmick. I can tell because the camera is all shaky!
David Cross' Ominous Voice Says:
"Call Customer Service if you have any questions!"
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