Why is it that evangelicals think we sinners are so awesome? I wish I lived in their world, where I'm constantly high, armed to the teeth, having non-stop sex, learning to summon real Pokemon, and using spells and psychic abilities.
|poetry publishing guide |
just like there is no pop culture phenomenon that someone somewhere is not beating off to, undoubtedly somewhere there is a christian fundamentalist who is attempting to convince others that same said phenomenon is of the devil
which actually makes sense, since god is anti- jacking it
1: construct a fetish site devoted to it
2: make sure the 700 club finds out
3: see if they collapse into themselves in pure singularity.
Yes, pokemon are responsible for gang violence. Clearly.
A wild Innocent Christian appears!
"Glockachu, I choose you! Glockachu, use Pistol Whip, now! That's it, Glockachu, now finish him off with a Bullet attack!"
Innocent Christian has fainted!
Wait. Glockachu is EVOLVING!
Congratulations! Your Glockachu evolved into Uzimon!
Satan takes Pokemon seriously. I remember back when he was Lucifer the angel of light, and God hid his Blastoise card.
Let's just say it led to a bit of a rift between the two.
Wasn't pokemon in the late 90s? Everyone here looks to be stuck in the 80s. Also, needs white people tag.
Christians commenting about other people killing each other has got to be why the Devil hates us, not Pokemon. There is no Devil in comparison to the acts of Christianity. If the Devil isn't Christian then he's an ineffective pussy.
"If you follow through the new age teaching you find that MASTERS are those who take control of spirits in the dark realm."
It is through this logic that I declare that Jack Nicklaus, winner of six Masters tournaments, is the most powerful demonic hellmage of our realm- controller of the darkest of spirit powers.
It does explain their fascination with He-Man though.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Criminal gangs, such as MS 13, work primarily with fire-type Pokemon. If you come across a Charmander with teardrop tattoos on its face, keep your distance.
On the other hand, everyone steers clear of ghost-type trainers. Even the most violent gangbangers avoid them. Ghost-type trainers are motherfucking crazy.
|al k duh |
hey padre, i got a monster in my pocket for yo mama!
"I assure you that everything in life is real."
This, my friends, is exactly why we cannot reason with over half of our own country.
It did send shivers down my spine at the thought of Cena_Mark being a real person.
I agree with the nutcase. Pokemons are evil.
Pious hysteria fuels my starship.
This pastor don't know shit about Pokemon.
This shit got to it's high point very quickly. I remember getting mails about how the "university of ecuador" had concluded that the smurfs, dragon ball, pokemon, ranma 1/2 among others had all this crazy double-meanings and references to satan.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
All this could make me think of is how awesome it would be if gang members shot at each other saying Pokemon catch phrases. Cripomon, I choose you!
Ah, but the the Japanese name of "Ditto" is "Metamon".
My beard challenges yours!
You know, they just could have said that Pokemon glorifies cockfighting, and they might have had a valid point.
Hee hee, Pastormon, I choose you! IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE PASTORMON IS A POKEMON NAME BECAUSE IT ENDS IN MON.
Wait, this isn't Will Ferrell's Bush impression?
|Plan B |
Fundamentalists really hated Pokemon, but most of them kept schtum about it when they realized made them look like cranky old men in the mainstream.
Consider that a few years later, when Yu-Gi-Oh came out--a show where the main characters literally summon monsters from magic playing cards--nobody said boo.
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