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Desc:Twippopotamus shrieks and grunts at her webcam.
Category:Horror, Crime
Tags:hambeast, what hell sounds like, nuttymadam3575, twi-tards
Submitted:Rev. Blackson Pollock
Date:03/16/10
Views:1873
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Comment count is 34
Explodotron - 2010-03-16
Jesus H. Christ. I found myself leaning back from the monitor and she leaned in for closer inspection... its like she can *smell* me. Truly frightening.

Needs "What Hell Sounds Like" tag.
Rev. Blackson Pollock - 2010-03-16
Done

jyrque - 2010-03-17
I think we need a 'What hell looks like' tag, too.

MaulLove - 2010-03-16
Five stars for Twippopotamus. I've been trying to not be as free with my stars, but that is a great word.
The Mothership - 2010-03-16
We might have a 'coining' here. Google search as of 3:35pm PST 03/16/10 comes up with this very page and none other.

Be honest Rev, you make this fantastic word up or you heard it somewhere?

Rev. Blackson Pollock - 2010-03-16
I can't say it's all me, I based it off of "gothapotamus" but twippo rhymes so much better don't you think?

phalsebob - 2010-03-16
The Twippopotamus and the Gothapotamus are two closely related species. They are friends, and hang out in the Ham & Chungle.

fluffy - 2010-03-16
stars for twippopotamus

APE_GOD - 2010-03-16
It is unforunate that it has become aware of its audience and of itself.

The obvious preparation that went into this video: the use of makeup, the lighting, the warnings to turn down your speakers and insincere apologies for her hysterics before she even sees the trailer: all of this is the behavior of a creature that knows it is in a cage and knows how to get attention.

Unlike its other videos, we aren't watching a stupid animal jumping in alarm at the sound of its own brain farting. We are seeing a trained monkey perform something rehearsed.

This is a less interesting flavor of human failure.


Five stars.
Rev. Blackson Pollock - 2010-03-16
From what I recall (http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=72721) this isn't the first time she's apologized for the deafening shrieking, or offered reassurance to anyone who might be in the film that she won't leap on them and eat them and such should they ever meet.

As for the lighting and makeup you have to allow that she'd learn to improve the look of whatever she's trying to produce, though in this case it really is putting lipstick on a pig. That only eliminates any doubt left that she doesn't mean all this. These shitty books and god awful movies really are her sole purpose for living.

The fruit of her failure just ripened on the fucking vine.

APE_GOD - 2010-03-16
It just felt...forced :(

There's nothing like the first time :( :( :(

Rev. Blackson Pollock - 2010-03-18
Well of course APE_GOD it's hard to top one's first encounter with these folks particular brand of wacky, obsession, etc. whether it's chris-chan, tfl bill, or that vampyric specter hobgoblin thing.

gotterdamm - 2010-03-16
The Hampire returns...
pineapplejuicer - 2010-03-16
i'm calling that the Twippopotamus 46 and pretending to be a tween

also this is really nerdy but did anyone play fable 2? she looks like the demon doors
ADnova - 2010-03-16
I don't like the internet anymore.
pineapplejuicer - 2010-03-16
also i believe "wtf england" is an operative tag
RomancingTrain - 2010-03-17
I think she's Scottish.

The Mothership - 2010-03-17
Yorkshire methinks; maybe near Leeds?

Candlejackv616 - 2010-03-16
I like how in between the screaming and switching into Tom Arraya like vocal shifts, you can here the dialogue of the trailer in question, it sounds so fucking sophomoric and juvenile.

It makes her reactions even better, knowing something so cornball sounding can make them go into hysterics is all kinds of funny.

Within the same token though, I fear APE_GOD has a point, as I recall her never wearing makeup or attempting to doll herself up, and it does appear lighting in this vid is set up to be more...flattering I suppose.
Chalkdust - 2010-03-16
Hey, it's Roberta Z'Dar!
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2010-03-16
Now THERE'S an image that's not going away any time soon...

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2010-03-16
I do want to watch "Twilight," but only as God intended: With the Rifftrax running.

That said, I really wonder if this... thing... has read the final book. I've seen several summaries, and if they're accurate, the movie will be such a craptastrophy that even fanfic.net would turn away in shame. Among the points I've seen raised:

1. Bella and Edward have a kid, half human, half vampire.
2. During the pregnancy, the baby kicks and breaks Bella's spine.
3. Edward vamps her so she's undead now, too.
4. When the kid is born, whoever the wolf-tween is that's hot for Bella sees the baby and "imprints" on it. Yes, he falls in love with his soul-mate, a baby.

So... I guess the babyfurs will love that one? But pray, what of the Hambeings? What of their greasy needs?
MaulLove - 2010-03-16
I knew all of that except for the spine breaking part and have brought it up to Twilight fans. They are unrepentant and unashamed.

I also watched it with the Rifftrax. Even with the commentary, the movie is still bad enough that I have to do other stuff while its on.

Rev. Blackson Pollock - 2010-03-16
I think she reviews it here in her own special way. http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=42400

MartinBishop - 2010-03-16
"If you bump into me on the street"

Well, that wouldn't be too difficult...
Midnight Man - 2010-03-16
I'm not watching this all the way through but I gotta five it for the fact she both-hands-to-mouth gasps the very second she started the damn thing. Really, girl, how could anything have possibly even happened yet?
oogaBooga - 2010-03-16
She's probably been reclusive since middle or high school, and therefore is stuck in "stupid little girl" phase forever.

StanleyPain - 2010-03-16
Needs an "ACTING!!" tag.
Frank Rizzo - 2010-03-16
take away everything that is good and pure about Monique and you have this.
snothouse - 2010-03-16
When the arms move, the EARTH SHAKES
Son of Slam - 2010-03-16
Look, I'm just as excited about the Helios release as the next person, but this seems to be a bit over the top.

What, too soon?
pastorofmuppets - 2010-03-17
I like my vampire movies with Kristy Swanson and Toad the Wet Sprocket, thanks.
chumbucket - 2010-03-17
I appreciate her volume warning
FABIO - 2010-03-29
Isn't this what the main character was supposed to look like in the book?
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