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Desc:'She's Sweet 16 And Never Been Kissed!'
Category:Religious, Horror
Tags:kissing, christians, lol xians, Christian relationships, Patriarchal Oppression
Submitted:BOOSH
Date:05/01/10
Views:2256
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Comment count is 32
Candlejackv616
Disgusting.
poetry publishing guide
Somehow I've managed to catch this two or three times when it's been shown on TBN. Some of the other Christian films they show are pretty great, too.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
She's sweet 16 and has never had analingus.
Xenocide
"Well, sweetie, if your friend had only listened to her father and refused to kiss her boyfriend, she wouldn't have been raped to death by that gang of Mexican drug smugglers. Now let's put that behind us. Who's up for listening to me talk about your wedding night in creepy soft tones again?"
Urkel Forever
SPOILER: Actual kiss not shown.
phalsebob
It's only a spoiler for you filthy perverts.

Camonk
Three minute video: SPOILED

Lurchi
0:06 it's Alektorphobic
Crucifried
"You may now kiss the bride"
*Teeth clack together, five minutes of trying to figure out which side of her nose his nose should go on, both of their eyes opening and then closing, trying to figure out what's going on*
tmavomodry
I'd love to hear their position on petticoats.
lucienpsinger
The guy behind this has a brother. That brother directed Second Glance:

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=50572
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=47517

A nice family thing they got goin' on over there. Rewatching Second Glance, I noticed that there was a kiss at one point. I thought perhaps there was some disagreement regarding the naughtiness of a premarital kiss. Then I realized the kiss happens at the precise moment a kid opens a locker in the foreground so you don't actually see the contact happen. I get the cock sock and some creative angles to make it look like fucking's actually happening in a movie, but movie magic so your actors don't have to kiss is maybe a bit much.
Vaidency
It's religious fundamentalist porn!
socialist_hentai
No, religious fundie porn is about the End Times and Rapture, this is... uhm... something else?


Caminante Nocturno
Everything the father says frantically leaps from patronizing to creepy and back again like a frightened jerboa.
cognitivedissonance
You may now unlock the chastity belt. You may now undo the spiky preventative dildo. You may now remove the small phylactery idol dedicated to the bride's virginity, sealed with wax and signed by the church elders. You may now kiss the bride.
Quad9Damage
"When you lie down on your wedding bed... what kind of man do you want your husband to me? Really, tell me everything. Slowly. Mmm, yeah..."
kingarthur
Why does this make 16 year old me so tempted to seduce and therefore spoil her for all time?
kingarthur
Also how are Xtian fundies any different from Islamic fundies in what they ultimately want the world to be like?

flotsam
I thought that it was peculiar for Fredrick to not have a desire to kiss a woman.

I also kept expecting Pamela's father to make a creepy advance on her after his thoughtful monologues.

flotsam
Wrong area to make that comment, I was going to reply to you but I decided not to.

THA SUGAH RAIN
THERE IS SATAN IN SMOOCHING
nemeses9
So you go from never having even kissed, straight to sex on the wedding night?

Yeah, that makes sense.
Syd Midnight
She's probably not allowed to masturbate either.
Rodents of Unusual Size
I swear I thought the dad was going to say "I love you both...now suck my cock!" in the voice of the puppet from Team America that he resembles.
poetry publishing guide
Hah, fuck, he is totally like that puppet.

Rosebeekee
Three seconds in I was going to comment on how people had trouble keeping their eyebrows straight in the 80's. Then I looked this up and saw it was released in 1998. This isn't the first time I've witnessed fundies stuck in an 80's time warp.
poetry publishing guide
'98??! I have a really difficult time believing that anyone was sporting those hairstyles post- '93 or so. It's true what you're saying about the fashion time warp with this kind of stuff, but I genuinely think that there must be some mistake, and it was made several years before that.

Pigeon
What a kisstease
joyofdiscord
One of the creepier moments is when dad is getting over the no kiss talk with the happy couple and plants a wet one right on daughter's head.
jangbones
My girlfriend went to school in Rochester with the girl who played Pamela. "She was definitely a kisser."
The Great Mel Bay
these are for you

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