|poetry publishing guide |
Somehow I've managed to catch this two or three times when it's been shown on TBN. Some of the other Christian films they show are pretty great, too.
|Scrotum H. Vainglorious |
She's sweet 16 and has never had analingus.
"Well, sweetie, if your friend had only listened to her father and refused to kiss her boyfriend, she wouldn't have been raped to death by that gang of Mexican drug smugglers. Now let's put that behind us. Who's up for listening to me talk about your wedding night in creepy soft tones again?"
|Urkel Forever |
SPOILER: Actual kiss not shown.
0:06 it's Alektorphobic
"You may now kiss the bride"
*Teeth clack together, five minutes of trying to figure out which side of her nose his nose should go on, both of their eyes opening and then closing, trying to figure out what's going on*
I'd love to hear their position on petticoats.
The guy behind this has a brother. That brother directed Second Glance:
A nice family thing they got goin' on over there. Rewatching Second Glance, I noticed that there was a kiss at one point. I thought perhaps there was some disagreement regarding the naughtiness of a premarital kiss. Then I realized the kiss happens at the precise moment a kid opens a locker in the foreground so you don't actually see the contact happen. I get the cock sock and some creative angles to make it look like fucking's actually happening in a movie, but movie magic so your actors don't have to kiss is maybe a bit much.
It's religious fundamentalist porn!
|Caminante Nocturno |
Everything the father says frantically leaps from patronizing to creepy and back again like a frightened jerboa.
You may now unlock the chastity belt. You may now undo the spiky preventative dildo. You may now remove the small phylactery idol dedicated to the bride's virginity, sealed with wax and signed by the church elders. You may now kiss the bride.
"When you lie down on your wedding bed... what kind of man do you want your husband to me? Really, tell me everything. Slowly. Mmm, yeah..."
Why does this make 16 year old me so tempted to seduce and therefore spoil her for all time?
Also how are Xtian fundies any different from Islamic fundies in what they ultimately want the world to be like?
Wrong area to make that comment, I was going to reply to you but I decided not to.
|THA SUGAH RAIN |
THERE IS SATAN IN SMOOCHING
So you go from never having even kissed, straight to sex on the wedding night?
Yeah, that makes sense.
|Syd Midnight |
She's probably not allowed to masturbate either.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
I swear I thought the dad was going to say "I love you both...now suck my cock!" in the voice of the puppet from Team America that he resembles.
Three seconds in I was going to comment on how people had trouble keeping their eyebrows straight in the 80's. Then I looked this up and saw it was released in 1998. This isn't the first time I've witnessed fundies stuck in an 80's time warp.
poetry publishing guide
'98??! I have a really difficult time believing that anyone was sporting those hairstyles post- '93 or so. It's true what you're saying about the fashion time warp with this kind of stuff, but I genuinely think that there must be some mistake, and it was made several years before that.
What a kisstease
One of the creepier moments is when dad is getting over the no kiss talk with the happy couple and plants a wet one right on daughter's head.
My girlfriend went to school in Rochester with the girl who played Pamela. "She was definitely a kisser."
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