The devil called and would like to point out that had he actually purchased this man's soul, this individual wouldn't look like the Michelin Man with a mold colony on his face. Satan's brand has an image to maintain, and this beardo isn't even in the ballpark.
|Caminante Nocturno |
"Hey, let's go sodomize that scrawny kid who's always flipping around."
"What?! Why do you want to do that??"
"Because I found this pornography magazine."
"Oh, I see."
Of course God loves fat white bigots.
"The sky was fluffier."
I don't think having a metal singer in a thriving metal band get a contract is proof of selling ones soul. In the name of scientific inquiry, I'll attempt the same thing, while having no musical talent or ability. If I get offered a contract, I'll report back.
As a rock station DJ once pointed out: If metal bands were really in league with the devil, they'd actually sell albums.
From there, he made a very convincing case that New Kids on the Block and N'Sync had made infernal pacts, since there was no other plausible reason they were raking in so much cash.
Wait is it that easy to get women, drugs, and money?
I guess in exchange for all this love, God made his music suck.
I've definitely seen this on here before, but maybe it was EIT?
I was about to ask where the hell this came from, but then I noticed "The 700 Club" along the sides of the video.
i think the devil is a pretty cool guy. eh buys soles and doesn't afraid of anything.
Oh bicameralism. They make it sound like switching sides is such a huge step because "He sold his soul to the Devil.It's the ultimate conversion" Of course, you can't sell your soul to the devil if you don't believe in god, so who are they kidding?
Well, the target audience is probably other Christians of the same bent, so it's not really intended to be an accuorate portrait of.... well anything really. But most likely the folks who made this little blurb are in the camp that thinks everyone *knows* God exists, and atheists are the people who deny him even though they really know he's out there. The idea someone rejects their entire belief system (both sides of it) is beyond their grasp.
"What's happenin', Dad?" is really the meanest thing you could think of to say? Really? And when he little-sisters you, you just curse at him?
Worst servant of Satan ever.
But he's got a disproportionately attractive woman playing his wife, so I guess he's got me beat.
Man it was so weird when that guy came to my door and said, "Hey, I don't know if you remember me but you sodomized me when I was littler." I just lied my ass off and said I found Christ and shit. I mean I thought he was gonna stab me or something. I wonder what happened to that guy...
Good evening sir my name is Reginald Flass and I've been sent here on behalf of God to notify you that any unwilling sodomization you may receive as a result of the free will of man is in no way the fault of Him. Also he loves you. Thank you for your time.
You'd think Satan would have better things to do than hang out in a basement with this guy jerking it to Sears Catalogues. At maximum, he'd send an intern.
|Nyms Lives! |
"we sat down and we cried and we hugged and we talked about it and we prayed... then they sodomized me for old times sake."
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