things I imagine Sugar Slam smells like;
-Violent J's flopsweat
-Goddammit, memedumpster stole all my comments!
-worn out stockings
-the inside of a '93 Honda Civic
-dander shampoo for horses
-Kim Kardashian Eau de Toilette
|WHO WANTS DESSERT |
Fuckin' CHRISTMAS miracles
She tries SO HARD it hurts more than mere incompetence would.
I also love that they spend a solid minute explaining that the toys can't be used.
[Scene: The break room at Target]
Juggalo 1: "Say, my fellow 'ninja', have you heard of Psychopathic Records' latest endeavor to consolidate the 'Juggalo Family' around a common cause?"
Juggalo 2: "Alas, I've not. *Fuck* not. Tell me, does it involve hurling excrement at musicians I've paid money to see?"
Juggalo 1: "Ass, no."
Juggalo 2: "Does it involve sixty year-old wash-outs from 1980s wrestling promotions lighting themselves on fire for a pittance?"
Juggalo 1: "Dick and balls, no!"
Juggalo 2: "Does it require me to ignore my out-of-wedlock children, my personal hygiene, and my woefully lacking academic and social skills?"
Juggalo 1: "I'm afraid not, faggot."
Juggalo 2: "Then I am entirely uninterested."
[Curtain, Faygo bottles ensue]
I like her because it's so obvious she is only doing this for money.
|The Mothership |
Truly, the Christian thing to do.
If you told me after the Jenny Jones video that by the end of the day (the DAY) that I would have a new favorite for most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen, I wouldn't have believed you.
Then, "Jolly Ass Jams." "Santa Claws." "Agnagraphed."
|Prickly Pete |
That is Violent J's baby mama. Fact.
I had no Idea there was Juggalo Championship Wrestling.
To think it's been around for more than ten years.
How they've endured, the Juggalos.
This is more clever than almost anything I've seen on TV in the last decade, at any rate.
MAD POOR KIDS GETTIN' TOYS
CUM ON NINJAS, GIVE A FUCK!
You figure they would just tell everybody to pray for a motherfuckin' Christmas miracle.
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