|Dread Pirate Roberts |
|Caminante Nocturno |
Nobody can defeat THE MONARCH!
Also, stuff my great uncle Charles into a blue sweater and some facepaint, and this is basically him every thanksgiving.
|Mother Lumper |
I love you, Filmation Skeletor.
Skeletor's minions put up with soooo much shit.
Who else is going to hire them, looking the way they do? Eternia is the 2nd most racist shithole in the Universe.
What you wrote is the MO of every single manager at every single company you have ever heard of.
How come none of my bosses have been as fun as Skeletor, then? Not once have I been asked to retrieve any sort of mystic orb.
Stupid minions won't attempt to overthrow their leader and they aren't smart enough to realize how badly they're going to get hurt while following orders.
|Rudo Magnifico |
Skeletor's minions must live in a Right to Work state.
|Binro the Heretic |
Conversation from a Mattel boardroom, ca 1981:
"Hey, kids loved buying all those 'Star Wars' figures we cranked out, but we've run out of characters and vehicles."
"Maybe Lucas could make another movie?"
"Nah, I think he's wrung that chamois to the last drop."
"And anyway, we'd have to pay him for anything we use."
"What if we came up with our own characters?"
"That's the ticket!"
"Can anyone come up with anything?"
"Hey, I just saw this really trippy movie called 'Heavy Metal' that had some stuff we could rip off!"
"Well...there was this story about a cab driver in the future."
"You think kids are going to want to play with a fucking taxi driver?"
"Um, okay, uh...OH! There was a story about this nerdy kid who gets sucked into another dimension by a magic ball and he gets turned into this big muscular guy who fights half-animal people and there's this hot chick and a sorceress..."
"Sounds good, but then we'd have to pay those guys royalties."
"It was all really generic stuff. It would be hard for them to prove we ripped them off. Hell, we could even ape the art style if we wanted. I think only six people saw that flick in the theaters."
"Great, let's get some hack to throw together a story and come up with some characters."
Actually, there's a rumor that the origin of He-Man was that they were prototype toys for the Conan movie. When Mattel finally saw the movie, they pulled them because the Conan is definitely NOT a kids film. There was even a lawsuit where the Conan people sued Mattel, but Mattel won.
Binro the Heretic
Mattel was indeed hoping to market a line of toys based on "Conan the Barbarian" but, as you say, the movie wasn't suited for kids. Also, the toy line would be quite limited. What they were really looking for was something that gave them an almost endless supply of characters and vehicles to sell plastic versions of, just as "Star Wars" had done.
"Conan" and other pulp sci-fi/sword & sorcery had been enjoying a resurgence in popularity at the time. Art from the likes of Frazetta, Vallejo and Corben was everywhere. "Dungeons & Dragons" was moving from nerd territory into mainstream culture. Movies like "Clash of the Titans" and "The Beastmaster" were playing in theaters.
The "Masters of the Universe" comic was initially closer to "Conan the Barbarian" in many respects, but when it came to the animated show, the producers borrowed heavily from the style of the "Den" sequence in "Heavy Metal".
Mattel had nothing to do with the Star Wars toys in the 80s, that was Kenner.
Binro the Heretic
My bad. Kenner and Mattel were the two heavy-hitters of my childhood. I mixed them up.
Who does that cabbage think he is?
Take your drawers off
and work your legs
Open up your ass like a keg...
I just rewatched that because you reminded me of it. Wow. It's way more awful than I remember.
Skeletor is apparently an IT program director.
hey, you ARE a boob!
"A motley group of gnomes" is my new next username.
Trying to watch this show now is like sticking an ice pick up your dickhole.
Nahhh, this show has never made me spurt pink ropes of blood and cum.
I beg your pardon. Why would you be ejaculating while that kind of trauma is being forcibly administered to your penile urethra?
It's a shame. As a boss he should be building them up.
Skeletor needs to take sensitivity training.
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