|Caminante Nocturno |
And you're communists.
Do you think the upkeep on unicorns is cheap?
Papa smurf's apologetic look on the preload says it all.
Home alone 3? Seriously? Oh man, this will probably suck even more than I assumed it would.
His other credits include Beverly Hills Chihuahua and Big Momma's House.
Goddamn, man, cut it out. I keep having to completely recalibrate my movie suckage grading system, and I don't think I can make it go any lower.... which is bad, because WE'RE STILL NOT LOW ENOUGH TO MEASURE THIS.
"How do you procreate if there's only one female? Do you take it in turns? Is Pappa Smurf all your dad? Were you about to die out before Smurfette showed up? Why did the wizard trying to kill you send you the one thing you needed to survive? What kind of message does it send that your only female was brown haired and ugly when evil, and blonde and pretty when good? In fact, why are the villains all extremely ugly? Why would someone make this movie anyway? Did they see how the Chipmunks made money and simply dig around in a franchise bargain bin? Don't they realize they can't market 30 Belgian cartoon characters nearly as well as three recognizable American cartoons right? Why am I doing this anyway? I'm getting married soon, and all I'm going to hear are Smurf jokes. This after banking a ton of goodwill at the Tony's with all the gays who'll be there. I'm supposed to do good movies then sell out when I've made it, not transition from TV to sell-out dreck. What reason do I have not to squish you flat and leave this very minute?"
|The Townleybomb |
Oh no he's not!
|Hank Friendly |
is gargamel in this movie?
Is 3d dead yet, or do we have to wait until after this movie comes out?
The reason it's not a completely cg film set in an enchanted forest? No product placement opportunities. Ugh.
NPH has some serious addictions to support.
Man, I thought Inception had too much expository dialogue.
There was a Scottish Smurf?
|Dr Dim |
I was hoping it would be about the kind of smurfs that smoke meth and buy pseudoephedrine.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
As much as I love Neil Patrick Harris (and I do!) it's not like he's Kenneth Brannaugh. He starred in How I Met Your Mother and Harold and Kumar. The Smurfs is not that much of stretch for him.
Rodents of Unusual Size
One is a crappy sitcom and the other is a crappy stoner series. I wouldn't call that owning. Making a lot of money, yes, but owning? No.
The Smurfs is his home now. He has no line he won't cross. Deal.
Man that human female CGI character is weird looking.
No no no no no no no no NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
|Shanghai Tippytap |
audience laughs because they, too, recognize google
Jet Bin Fever
but you see, those didn't pay them thousands and thousands of dollars for that line!
5 for evil. But on one hand I'm glad that studios keep pushing this kind of shit in 3D because it will kill it off that much quicker.
Gives me nostalgia for The Great Smurf Massacre on the C64.
|Jet Bin Fever |
Aww, I could only count 4 companies that contributed to this scene... surely Michael Bay coulda squeezed in more than that!
This is utter shit.
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