|The Mothership |
5 for all the limp-dicked archaeologists falling over themselves to erect the biggest phallic symbol.
Not gonna say ancient aliens, but........
My cock might be 12 inches and made of solid gold, but they can't be sure until they suck it.
You need slave labor, you cocksuckers
Funny story, egyptians used paid labor a lot. Work dormatory digs show most of the workers were treated better than modern factory workers.
I haven't seen anything about if movement of multi-ton stones was done by slave labor or not, but the shit tons of crafting and stone masonry required skilled and experienced workers.
Alright, here's how we're pretty sure it went down.
Now the first thing you have to understand is that the land around the Nile is fertile because of the regular flooding. But, you can't farm it while it's underwater. So after you bring in the last harvest, and you turn all the grain into flour/beer, you have a bunch of big beefy farmhands standing around not doing much else.
So one day a guy stands up and says "I know, lets build a giant dick."
Turns out that's easier said than done. How do you feed these people who are hauling the dick-stones? How do they get to the worksite? You need other people dedicated to bake bread for the workers, and other people who just brew beer all day. And the beer needs someone to make pots to hold it. And to hold the grain. And you need a guy in charge of the whole operation, with a special dick-hat to tell people who's organizing everything. They call this guy 'king.' And they all need to set their houses next to each other to make moving goods and services possible.
Well, after the third giant dick fell over and they figured out you need a guy who knows about things like angles and stress points they finally get it up there and damned if it isn't cool as all hell. Then those assholes up the river hear about it and decide they want to put a bigger dick up. So the king decides to get some boys together and go take over the new giant dick, and then he has a mason carve a picture of himself beating the shit out of the other king and wearing his dick-hat over-top his own.
So anyway this is where things like art and the internet come from.
The march of progress: who has the bigger dick!
Sivak, I really hope you're a teacher. School would be a much better place.
You need semi-skilled labor with severe homoerotic overtones, you fucking Nile butthorns.
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