|Jimmy Labatt |
I sat through this godforsaken film for two reasons.
1.) Salma Hayek
2.) A brief glimpse of the upper third of Salma Hayek's ass.
Everything else was awful.
I sat through this movie based entirely on my love of the original TV show. It was very disappointing.
Same reason as dementomstie. Then I sat through it again years later to see how it would hold up if I wasn't on shit.
DO NOT DO THIS
I want to see Will Smith do a one-man show of Mark Twain.
And yes, I made it all the way through. When I was young I was forced to see "Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" multiple times at the theater (I had enthusiastic sisters); there's precious little entertainment that can break me.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
This is honestly one of the most wince and cringe inducing scenes I have ever seen. This approaches Battlefield Earth territory. Or cats having sex.
Have you ever seen that direct to video courtroom drama where it's the future and Christians are being persecuted and Mr. T has to lead the last remaining Christians to overthrow their atheist rulers?
That one is worse.
Scene is so terrible it almost becomes funny because HOLY CRAP, PEOPLE SPENT MILLIONS AND BROKE THEIR BACKS BRINGING US THIS, but the whole time there is this unbearable screaming noise inside my head.
|Pope Caius |
I finished but now I think my brain has a rash.
I've seen this movie all the way through at least once, so I'd already finished the scene before it was posted here. Does that count?
This isn't even the worst part of the movie, though. Everything before and after this is all cripple and race jokes and Will Smith's bare ass.
|Meatsack Jones |
old man overhearing the conversation about fake tits
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
If this movie came out today, people would blame it on Obamacare.
John Holmes Motherfucker
I didn't finish watching, BTW. Made it to the part where Will Smith says "Feel my breast."
I found a video review of WWW, and that's where I learned that this comic dialogue was added when test audiences couldn't tell whether this was supposed to be a comedy or not. Adding scenes like this made it clear that that was supposed to be a comedy.
The one thing I like about this movie is Kenneth Branagh, and it's weird that there's so little of his contribution is on the web. Even the giant spider isn't easy to find.
This scene is no more or less unwatchable than the rest of the movie.
|Caminante Nocturno |
I don't think you could get away with putting a scene like this in a movie nowadays.
So, at least there's that.
|Hank Friendly |
aside from being hokey and stupid this was not really all that terrible of a movie. what the fuck did you expect, citizen kane?
I'm going to go on record as saying that Water World was a masterpiece of summer movies compared to today.
Hell, even The Postman was a hundred times better than whatever half a dozen ugly middle america Michael Bay and comic book movies come out next year.
I guess I expected it to not be the exact sort of movie that Will Smith gets cast in.
I dunno...I didn't really have a huge problem with this movie. I thought it was a waste of the franchise (you could do a lot cooler things with Wild Wild West) and Will Smith was a poor choice for the role. (which is true of almost anything he's in) Kevin Kline was a great choice for Artemis Gordon, but he gets shafted so badly for screentime. If the producers hadn't been so concerned with giving Will Smith yet another vehicle for his shitty comedic bullshit it probably would have turned out as a more passable movie. I normally like Barry Sonnenfeld, but I think here he was just trying to make Men in Black 1.5 or something.
"Oh please daddy. We need a pool. Please star in another crappy movie daddy so that we can buy a pool!"
I hate it when nice costumes are in shitty movies :(
This was excruciating, but there were worse scenes.
I went to see this when it came out. I remember nothing out of it.
The true tragedy of this movie is that it seems to have scared Kevin Kline of doing comedy forever.
|Binro the Heretic |
My brain's reaction to this movie when it came out:
"Hey, cool! The guy who did 'Men in Black' made a movie out of one of my favorite TV shows from when I was a kid!"
"Kevin Kline as Artemus? Oh...Uh...well, wouldn't have been my first choice, but he's okay, I guess. Who do they have playing James West? What? Seriously? WHAT THE HELL? Fuck this, I'm not seeing this in the theater. Maybe it's worth renting on video?"
"What? Doctor Loveless isn't a little person? Oh that is just sacrilegious. Fuck this movie to death!"
"Oh, look, the same guy is doing a remake of 'Fantasy Island" only Mr. Roarke is an asshole who wears a black suit and doesn't have a little person for a sidekick. Yeah, I'll pass."
Jesus that sucked. Glad I never saw the real thing.
Yes. I made it through the whole thing.
Yes. I enjoyed it.
Yes. I am part of the problem.
This is literally Django Unchained.
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