Cut this guy's paranoia in half and you have a good picture of me in my late teens years.
Years Im glad to have behind me, thats for sure.
He's right, if you take Satan seriously: Satan's going to exploit your weaknesses and tempt you to sin, if you're not careful. And you may assume he's better at this than you.
If I believed in Satan, I would have to conclude he's done a fantastic job co-opting Christianity, especially in America, where churches have shed even the pretense of helping the poor and oppressed. Any church that fails to exhibit an overwhelming abundance of love for all people is committing the ultimate heresy against Christ; many many churches are firmly in Satan's clutches, and the invention by which Satan really turned American Christianity around is the concept of the personal relationship with Jesus. Reduce Jesus to the equivalent of a childhood imaginary friend, and you are damned. So go ahead, keep imagining Satan as a comical figure in red tights, he won't be offended at all if you underestimate him.
(I should stress that I don't actually believe in Satan or Jesus, but if I did, this is how I would interpret what's going on.)
Fortunately, the Bible offers a very easy test to tell good from evil: "by their fruits ye shall know them". This is more true than ever these days, where the only good churches are the ones that are welcoming to all people, including the LGBT community. These tend to be the churches that do good works, and might actually manage to be pleasing in the eyes of the Lord. Er, assuming he exists and all.
If I believed in Satan I'd think whomever created him was a real asshole,
God has a pretty low batting average when it comes to creating sentient beings that aren't flawed and driven by sin., like "Look, I made some AI robots, but they mostly just fight and steal and hurt each other and blow things up. They go insane a lot. They're also self-replicating. I also have an executive model called the Angel, 33% of them went rogue and built an underground Hellbase that they attack from and drag victims to. They can also impregnate humans. I call those "Nephelim", they're really really bad but you can stop them with enough WMDs." He's about as efficient as the Army.
I feel like I just walked into the living room at a grade 9 pot party. This clip sucks guys.
|Jet Bin Fever |
Jesus wants you to live a joyless life of tired desperation!
In a time of increasing uncertainty and poverty for the worlds 'not rich enough to have a servant's mansion behind their mansion' people, it's not surprising the middle-ages' Serf Control Christianity would make a comeback.
He would make good friend with that muslim who said that satan pisses in your mouth every time you yawn.
|Prickly Pete |
So does Satan ever take a break or not? I swear he flip flopped in there.
NEVER LET GO OF MOMMY'S APRON.
Needs a Venom soundtrack.
Satan is fucking incompetent. He literally can't overcome the dumbest humans in world history.
I see he cut out the part where he turns around and lifts his shirt showing all the self-flagellation marks on his back while screaming "I AM THE VOICE OF GOD, ALL SHALL SUFFER!"
...For Satan to kill? Damn, that's pretty hardcore.
I guess that Jack Chick Halloween comic was right.
| Register or login To Post a Comment|