|SteamPoweredKleenex - 2012-10-05 |
Normally I'd assume he was another asshat trying to curry favor, but after Mitt's leaked "47%" film, I'm beginning to think the entire GOP actually believes all the nutty fairy tales they've been feeding to their base since Reagan.
As someone in the YT comments noted, China must be loving the fact that there's an entire party devoted to shipping jobs to it while replacing its innovation endeavors with prayers to Jeebus.
|Blue - 2012-10-05 |
Is the Bible telling the truth when it says that Jesus will come quickly. Sooo... In a universe that was only 7,000 years old quickly meant 2000+ years? That was kind of a dick move on his part. Everyone's all like "Jesus will be back soon" and then they grew old and died. He probably should have said something like "It will take a long goddamn time for me to come back. Like about one quarter of all the time that has ever passed.
At that point in time I'll bring you all back from the dead and we'll have judgement day. Which I guess will mean bringing everybody out of heaven and hell to be judged because nobody writing the fucking Bible bothered to nail down the answer to basic questions like "do people go to heaven or hell when they die or does that happen at the end of the world" before they started writing. So yeah, there's going to be a long line and everybody's going to be waiting for an answer they already know.
Clearly this book was written by an omniscient being, because it's so well written. Except for the appendix which shows what they thought the Earth looked like. God, they were fucking dumb.
ThE H1ZtoRY of EARTh anD JEZUZ!!!111
Written by: god, age 12
ORIGINAL CHARACTERS DO NOT STEAL!!
As in the Sixth Star, not as in One Star You Asshole.
|fatatty - 2012-10-05 |
I like how one of the favorite anti-Islamist talking points these days is that Islam shouldn't get religious protection because it's not just a religion it's a set of laws that tell people how to run society. I'm confused as to how that's different than the above.
|memedumpster - 2012-10-05 |
How the hell did this guy manage to strike down the last priest of Diana?
Does not teach you how to run from hunters.
|Bhiu - 2012-10-05 |
The first 4 words out of his mouth were enough for me to know I don't care about the next 56,000.
|Vaidency - 2012-10-06 |
The bible teaches us how to run our society...
So, who wants to be an investor to help me set up a slave market? The bible repeatedly endorses slavery and even lays out ground rules for selling your own children, so it's clearly intended to be a major social institution.
I've noticed Republicans tend to get a little flustered when you point out that admonishments against homosexuality are mentioned at best twice (and the clearest condemnation is among a whole boatload of commandments that earn you the death penalty for breaking which no Christian adheres to) and never by Jesus. Then you can mention the hundreds of commands to minister to the poor, give away all you have, etc. and watch them start trying to find ways of saying that part is all metaphor.
|SteamPoweredKleenex - 2012-10-06 |
If I had as much dough as Mitt Romney, I'd so pay a crack team of ninjas and FX artists to break into that place and install servos, cameras, etc. that would make all the deer heads slowly move to stare at whoever was speaking, continuing to track them as they move around the stage.
|Hooker - 2012-10-06 |
Doesn't the Bible say that your body is a temple?
|Rodents of Unusual Size - 2012-10-06 |
And then he tried to shake hands with the deer right after this clip ended.
|TeenerTot - 2012-10-06 |
I'm quite flabbergasted.
It's a little easier to watch if you pretend the deer are the audience.
|Chocolate Jesus - 2012-10-07 |
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Is no one else going to mention the kaleidoscopic wall of animal heads? Its almost disorienting.
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