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Desc:Both videos together. Voting one up and not the other would suck.
Category:Humor
Tags:christmas, Boxxy, John Holmes Motherfucker, Catie wayne, Bleaching my face
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
Date:03/27/13
Views:3054
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Comment count is 100
Ursa_minor - 2013-03-27
Oh good god.
RocketBlender - 2013-03-27
I would like to apologize to poeTV. If I had any idea what submitting 'FOAR EVERYPONY FRUM BOXXY!' was going to do to this site, I never would have. I am sincerely sorry, and promise never to make the mistake again.

DriverStabby - 2013-03-27
You are sorry.

Old_Zircon - 2013-03-27
You didn't start the fire, it was always burning

Bort - 2013-03-27
I don't like where they're going with the updated Cindy Lou Who.
Old_Zircon - 2013-03-27
I thought she didn't want her e-fame and just wanted to be left alone.
EvilHomer - 2013-03-27
Fatherly interest, huh?
Jet Bin Fever - 2013-03-27
Haha, exactly.

Mother_Puncher - 2013-03-27
What the fuck is in her hair?
chairsforcheap - 2013-03-27
no comprende. cinco.
Mother_Puncher - 2013-03-27
Also what do you have to do with this video, JHM? Ive missed a lot in my gaps in activity here
violenza - 2013-03-27
everything after 2:30.

Mother_Puncher - 2013-03-27
So the guy at the end is JHM reacting to the video? Nothing makes sense anymore. He always seemed so normal to me. I never thought he'd out himself as a Boxxy fanatic. I guess its always the quiet ones

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-03-27
That was one of the first things I knew about him. Then he started making those videos about kicking porn and all, which then became him regularly making videos for this site.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
I've been submitting my own videos since 2010


http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=82235

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
Incidentally, the reason why I've been submitting so many more videos here lately is because I stopped making Boxxy videos. When she was under attack, I was actively supporting her, and I don't regret that. Now that the situation has normalized, I'm trying other things. I'm still a fan. I might make a vid for her birthday.

I've never sought a relationship with Catie herself. What would I say to her? This is mostly about web politics. It's always been about web politics, and not just for me.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
>>But I still don't get it. If her problem wasn't that her fans were pervs, then what was it? That they weren't pervs *enough*? In can't imagine a single scenario in which doing a video like this would reclaim a person's dignity and/or show the haters what's what.


I already explained this, in English and everything:

They weren't especially pervs. They wanted her to be Boxxy over and over and over, and they didn't want her to try to control her image.

And it doesn't matter if you don't get it. They got it.

>>Also, I checked that Unichan place you just mentioned. I don't see any rape stories or photoshopped dicks. What gives?

It's all calmed down now. That's what I meant when I wrote "It's all calmed down now."

reading, man.

EvilHomer - 2013-03-28
This is a stab in the dark, but you didn't happen to save any of those rape fics and dick 'shops, did you?

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
I posted a link to a violent rape cartoon on the POETV page of FOAR EVERYPONY.

Disaster - 2013-03-27
She has all the charisma of a limp noodle.
Oscar Wildcat - 2013-03-27
Straight off the pages of Zap Comix.
Jet Bin Fever - 2013-03-27
What is wrong with you?
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-27
Thank you for your interest. I have prepared a brief statement for the media... which I have rewritten into an extremely long statement. I know that most of you aren't going to read it, so when you snidely tell me that you didn't read it, don't expect much of a reaction. I won't be taking any questions afterward.

I learned two things from this experience.

First, I learned that pouring SPLAT hair bleach on your face and leaving it there for an hour is extremely uncomfortable.

Secondly, I learned that I look like Santa Claus! The lo-res crappy video does not fully convey the reality of the Jolly Old Elf I found in the mirror. As someone who aspires to make videos, this is a bonanza for me. Santa Claus is as iconic and recognizable as Mickey Mouse, yet completely public domain. I will doing another Santa Claus video next year, and this time I'm going to do it up right.


I was frankly horrified when I first saw SantaBaby in December of 2011, but Boxxmom was kind enough to take some time out of her Christmas Eve to explain it to me, and now it's my absolute favorite. In terms of the Boxxysphere, the hardcore of community of fans, Catie's decision to show a little cleavage is the equivalent of Dylan going electric.

As usual, it's all about the crazy, baroque, internet psychopolitics of the Boxxysphere. In 2009, after Catie was forced off the internet, and Boxxy was banned from 4chan, a group of dejected exiles from 4chan set up Unichan, a 4chan-style image board dedicated to unfettered Boxxydolatry. For a period of maybe a year and a half, they posted fan art, videos, and whatnot, as offerings to their goddess, and then, in late 2010, a miracle! Boxxy herself posted in Unichan to announce her return. After she convinced the devotees that she was was not a troll, her return was treated as a message from heaven, and there was much rejoicing.

http://youtu.be/aTyCJQYrGt0

Of course, you can probably guess what happened next. "The Queen" angered everyone by acting like she actually owned her own image. She copyrighted her old videos, made few new videos at first, and most of these weren't about Boxxy at all, except for the one where she very patiently explained that she was not really Boxxy, and they did NOT want to hear that. The worst part was that she started her own website, making Unichan no longer the center of the Boxxysphere.

Unichan got dark. The boys started gossiping, vindictively picking apart everything Catie said for "lies", photoshopping cocks into her pictures, and creating melodramatic editorial cartoons of Boxxy lying dead while Catie dances on a pile of money. Most of the criticism of Catie from "Loonychan" centers on the two incompatable ideas that Catie is 1) "a money grubbing Jew" who wants to exploit her popularity for profit, and 2) not really interested in Boxxy. Since the character of Boxxy is easily Catie's most exploitable asset, it's a huge contradiction, but, you may have already guessed, these boys don't care about logic.

Some of the stuff that I saw there was truly horrible, and I was not there all that much. There was some "fan fiction" of Catie being raped, and choking on the author's bloody, shit-smeared tool, to the point of losing consciousness. When I alerted Catie's mom, she was not all that concerned. They'd seen it all before.

In December of 2011, the screaming was at its height. In this context, "Santa Baby" was a master stroke, a glorious gesture of cheerful defiance. You can almost hear her sweetly saying FUCK YOU BOYS as she smiles and shakes her titties at the camera. Of course, when her mother explained it to me,she didn't exactly use the words "FUCK YOU" to describe the intent. I'm paraphrasing, and I'm leaving out some things, references to arcane Boxxysphere controversies, such as the infamous Birthday Video. Nevertheless, this is how Catie Wayne says FUCK YOU on the internet to the scores of adolescent dick-shoopers. Compared to most of the internet FUCK YOUs I've seen, I consider this one to be pretty classy.

And the Loonychan faggos did indeed lose their funny little minds over this, going on and on about her "betrayal", and raving like a gay preacher in the closet about how she was acting like a whore, though the prostitutes in MY town don't usually wear long pants under their dresses.

It's all calmed down now. As hyper as her Boxxy persona is supposed to be, her Catie persona has always been modest, friendly, and low key, and the Boxxysphere has felt that influence. She forgave the kids who hacked her youtube account. I've never seen anyone take so much shit with so much grace.

http://tinyurl.com/c6uqnqs

That thing she does where she shakes her tits? That's called a "shimmy", and it's about a hundred years old. Anyone who thinks this is suggestive ought to check out Betty Grable's performance of "I Wish I Could Shimmy like my Sister Kate" in "Coney Island" (1943), with George Montgomery and Ceasar Romero. It'll blow your mind.

And she's not not all that "chunky". Notice her skinny little legs when she makes her entrance. As attractive as Catie is, she seems to be oddly proportioned.
Bort - 2013-03-27
So ... Internet disaster waiting to happen that it's best to steer clear of? Will do.

When an antire Web site has sprung up to obsess about you, the only sane course of action is to stay the fuck away. That goes for all parties involved.

EvilHomer - 2013-03-27
Never change, MoFo. Never, ever change.

Oh, and quick question: "this is how Catie Wayne says FUCK YOU on the internet to the scores of adolescent dick-shoopers." So let me get this straight. Because she's upset about the attention she's getting from her bukkake photoshopping fans, she... goes and dances around in a cleavage-spilling Santa-fetish outfit while singing a highly suggestive song?

Sure showed those pervs!

EvilHomer - 2013-03-27
Also, you claim to be in regular contact with Boxxy's mom. How do you know it's Boxxy's mom, and not just another random 55 year old man?

deadpan - 2013-03-27
It's a real-life Onion headline.

"Dirty Middle-aged Man Looks Forward to Becoming Dirty Old Man"

themilkshark - 2013-03-27
Good luck with the Santa videos JHM. This video sucked and I have a lot less interest in your projects now.

Stop obsessing over a young girl. Nasty.

Wander - 2013-03-27
I love that you think it's the girl's behavior we're concerned with, here.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-27
>>I love that you think it's the girl's behavior we're concerned with, here.

It's what I'M concerned with. I don't care what you're concerned with.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-27
>>Oh, and quick question: "this is how Catie Wayne says FUCK YOU on the internet to the scores of adolescent dick-shoopers." So let me get this straight. Because she's upset about the attention she's getting from her bukkake photoshopping fans, she... goes and dances around in a cleavage-spilling Santa-fetish outfit while singing a highly suggestive song?

God, you're a dick.

"Highly suggestive" of what? It's a song from the fifties culminating in a marriage proposal.

The point of Unichan is not that they're pervs. I already explained this. Feel free to read it again.

And that's all of Evil Homer's bullshit I've got time for.

EvilHomer - 2013-03-27
Liar. You have plenty of time.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-27
D'OH!

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-27
I don't have as much time as you have bullshit.

EvilHomer - 2013-03-27
That may be true.

But I still don't get it. If her problem wasn't that her fans were pervs, then what was it? That they weren't pervs *enough*? In can't imagine a single scenario in which doing a video like this would reclaim a person's dignity and/or show the haters what's what.

Also, I checked that Unichan place you just mentioned. I don't see any rape stories or photoshopped dicks. What gives?

asian hick - 2013-03-27
Jesus Christ

Toenails - 2013-03-27
I, for one, stand behind a creepy internet weirdo obsessing over a creepy internet weirdo.

Shit, last time this happened, Jay Herrod became a household name. That is, if your household consisted of Tosh.0 and other gross sewage problems.

memedumpster - 2013-03-28
This sounds like an OhGr song. The sounds are identical. I was also surprised at how deep her voice is in this video.

KITTYFIVE!!!!

Oh, and I checked with the Queen of Tau Ceti and he said that JHMF is Boxxy's TI, and if I inquire again they'll erase... uh, they'll erase how they era... they'll erase my... you see they erased the erasure to show me that they can... erase...

Oh god.

simon666 - 2013-03-28
I thought the video was kind of funny in and of itself, regardless of anything else. Four stars!

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
Toenails
I, for one, stand behind a creepy internet weirdo obsessing over a creepy internet weirdo.



Thank you for your support.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
>>But I still don't get it. If her problem wasn't that her fans were pervs, then what was it? That they weren't pervs *enough*? In can't imagine a single scenario in which doing a video like this would reclaim a person's dignity and/or show the haters what's what.


I already explained this, in English and everything:

They weren't especially pervs. They wanted her to be Boxxy over and over and over, and they didn't want her to try to control her image.

And it doesn't matter if you don't get it. They got it.

>>Also, I checked that Unichan place you just mentioned. I don't see any rape stories or photoshopped dicks. What gives?

It's all calmed down now. That's what I meant when I wrote "It's all calmed down now."

reading, man.

Toenails - 2013-03-28
JHM

Yeah, I was ribbing you in my reply, but let me be perfectly clear that as long as you make sure you aren't making anybody feel unsafe, you are a-okay in my book.

You put yourself and your quirky hobby out there, which is what most of us wouldn't be able to on our best days. I mean, so what you watch videos of a girl being stupid on the internet? I go to the Christian Film Database and cream my fucking pants when I learn that the parkouring movie that thinks that the Pope is the anti-Christ because the Sabbath was moved to Sunday has another sequel (yeah. ANOTHER sequel).

You already knew folks on here will make fun of you, yet you still don't mind being your god damn weird self. For that I thank and envy you. True Portal of Evil material if I do say so myself.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
Like I already said, this wasn't my choice. When other people out you, you don't hide in the closet.

Toenails - 2013-03-28
Fair enough. That said, don't stop being yourself. Unless of course that "yourself" implies that a boxxy-shaped coffin is currently halfway done in your workshop.

P.S. If anybody ever implies that you and me are internet brothers now, I will vehemently deny such accusations. Not because of any worry with being associated with you, but because you called me the s-word.

BHWW - 2013-03-27
She successfully made 'Santa Baby' even more unappealing to me.
DriverStabby - 2013-03-27
This is the end of poetv as we know it. Thanks, rocketblender.
THA SUGAH RAIN - 2013-03-27
Thanks to this video, this is how I will now picture each and every one of you people. Because, expect the worst, I guess.
chumbucket - 2013-03-27
God make it stop
Old_Zircon - 2013-03-27
Has it happened? Has drama finally breached our hull?
EvilHomer - 2013-03-27
"Finally"?

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-03-27
A lot of the folks here have weird fascinations, but most of them keep em below the surface. When we started voting up JHM's own video projects (some of which were pretty good POE worthy stuff), we allowed this to happen. I think it has been an unwritten rule at times, but we shouldn't allow people to submit their own stuff. This site is about exploring the deepest bowels of the internet to find videos with 60 views, not broadcasting our own creepy masturbation fantasies.

poopy - 2013-03-28
I like creepy masturbation fantasies.

Oscar Wildcat - 2013-03-28
Well then batten down the hatches and full steam ahead!

Adham Nu'man - 2013-03-28
ALL ABOARD THE POOP TRAIN!

simon666 - 2013-03-28
THERE ARE RULES HERE PEOPLE! RUUUULLLEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
>> When we started voting up JHM's own video projects (some of which were pretty good POE worthy stuff), we allowed this to happen. I think it has been an unwritten rule at times, but we shouldn't allow people to submit their own stuff. This site is about exploring the deepest bowels of the internet to find videos with 60 views, not broadcasting our own creepy masturbation fantasies.

Let's be clear. I only submitted this composite video after someone else submitted both videos seperately. I never would have submitted this on my own.

EvilHomer - 2013-03-28
I thought the prohibition was on submitting stuff by or about other PoEnies, not on somepoeny submitting his own work?

I say, if you do something poeworthy, post it.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-03-28
I submitted this initially. I thought it was poe worthy. Not because of Boxxy obviously, I find the whole Boxxy-Catie-4Chan-whatever thing incredibly boring, but I thought the video of you watching Boxxy dance was pretty poe-worthy.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
Don't blame me for this. I never talked about Boxxy in here until someone tracked down some old abortive blog that i could barely recall, and people started trying to ambush me with it (In here, it's usually Hooker). Adham, poeworthy or not, it looks to me like you were intending an ambush, the "not creepy at all" tag gives it away. If you weren't expecting a little drama, you're a fool.

I know that this is unseemly, but I've done nothing wrong. If other people are going to out me, I'm not going to hide in the closet. NOTHING is creepier than that. The very word "creep" implies secrecy.

But I don't come here for this. And I'm going to drop the subject until someone else brings it up.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-03-28
I found this video and I thought it was creepy and hilarious and I decided to post it here because here we post things that are creepy and hilarious. A lot of other people seem to find it creepy and hilarious. I would't call it an ambush, I don't have anything against you personally beyond the contents of this video.

When you say "Don't blame me for this. I never talked about Boxxy in here until someone tracked down some old abortive blog that i could barely recall", I must say you're full of shit... You used to have an account named Glenn or Glenda, you posted some lame Boxxy stuff and everyone one starred it and said "we don't care" and you totally flipped out and had a crazy meltdown, after which you disappeared and returned with this new account. You could have let the Boxxy shit behind, or at least realized that it wasn't going to fly at poetv because NOBODY CARES ABOUT BOXXY, but then you started making long long crazy comments ON EVERY SINGLE BOXXY VIDEO and referencing Boxxy in videos that had absolutely fuck all to do with her and you drew the attention back onto yourself.

I don't want you gone, you're a nice guy, this is not a personal attack, I appreciate you participating on this site, but this is some ridiculous shit and I'm sorry but it is in the spirit of this site to make fun of it.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-03-28
Also, you posted this yourself after I put the other two in the hopper, that took some balls and class.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
Fine. As far I'm concerned, this wasn't so terrible. But you know, enough is enough, right?

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
>>balls and class.

http://tinyurl.com/czoexjw

http://tinyurl.com/cy526ef

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
Lamest Santa-shaming EVER!
EvilHomer - 2013-03-28
You should do a video response. In your Santa outfit.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
No, I'm going to respond as Daniel Songer, dancing my tight whities and shaking my titties at the camera. And you won't be able toi resist voting it up.

Let's burn this motherfucker TO THE GROUND!!

EvilHomer - 2013-03-28
Please do this before you have a chance to sober up.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-28
I haven't had a drink since 1999, but I'm going to gain 40 pounds to prepare for the role. Like Robert DeNiro.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-29
You know what? I've been thinking about it for a long time, and it will take some time longer, but I'm going to make the video that makes the case for Catie Wayne, and I'm going to submit it. After all this crap about my obsession, it's time for an informed, insider's examination of The Thing Itself. It will be POEworthy as FUCK.

I think she's a culture hero of the new age. I believe that, whatever her reasons for returning to the web after begging to be left alone for two years, if she had allowed a bunch of btards to drive her off forever, it would have set a horrible precedent that would have made all of us less free, especially those of us with vaginas. I think she's the most fascinating person on the web, and the web is the most fascinating place in the world right now.

I also believe that she's either a trained actor (and she's studying acting right now) or she's some kind of genius. I would rather try to juggle 5 chainsaws than do some of the things she does in those with her face in those dumb videos. She uses her eyes to talk, instead of to see. There are 150 thousand imitations of Boxxy on the internet, but I've never seen anyone copy the eye thing. The whole time that she's talking, she's aware of where her eyes are. Not what they are seeing, but what they look like. I couldn't do it. Trained actors do it. She's doing it here as a child does it, playing with it, showing off.

http://youtu.be/Yavx9yxTrsw

Whether consciously or unconscious, she seems acutely aware of how she's framing, as if she was viewing a monitor, but there's no sign of that. The lighting of the videos is particularly sophisticated. Boxxy typically appears in a dark room with objects that are in darkness, but she herself is well lit. It may not be that hard once you know the trick, but I've never seen anyone else do it.

And her face is some kind of miracle. Break down FOAR EVERYWUN into the component frames, you'll get maybe 4000 seperate images. Remove the 1500 or images that are blurred by her movement, you'll get maybe 2500 discrete portraits. They all different, they're all dramatically, iconically beautiful. I make most of my videos by breaking down videos into seperate images, and I've never seen anything else like that.

Now, I may be wrong about some of this, and you may not be as impressed as I am, but I'm not making it up.

Her more recent non-boxxy videos (which get far less views than when she trosts out the Boxxy shtick) are cute and funny little ditties. Nothing earth shaking, just a cute story, but she's starting to use her abilities in a more disciplined way. Now, she uses her changeable face to play different characters. The usual jump cuts are there, but they're more disciplined than your USUAL usual jump cuts. It's never random, always to some effect.

http://youtu.be/A4OufOVdxKE

Is she destined for a great career as an actress? I really don't know. The suspense is a big part of what keeps it so interesting. But she never seems like she's in a big hurry to exploit her fifteen minutes. The first year, she made only a few videos, maybe 4 or 5. Just recently, she's launched into full production, like a video a week.
EvilHomer - 2013-03-29
>> And her face is some kind of miracle. Break down FOAR EVERYWUN into the component frames, you'll get maybe 4000 seperate images. Remove the 1500 or images that are blurred by her movement, you'll get maybe 2500 discrete portraits. They all different, they're all dramatically, iconically beautiful.

You're the Ulillillia of creepers, man.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-29
Call me what you like, it won't make you any smarter.

Would it help if I told you I was gay? These days, i might as well be. What I've described is how I make videos. I don't want a relationship with the young lady, but I would love to collaborate.

EvilHomer - 2013-03-29
I don't know why you're always so gosh darn hostile, Mr Holmes. That was a compliment!

You put a lot of thought and effort into your e-stalking, and I think that's hella cool.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-29
She doesn't have a good profile, though. You can see that in the preload.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-29
The thing here is that she REALLY was stalked. An organized group of supposed anons literally went through thousands of Youtube videos before they found out who she was, and they actually went to her house.

Everything we know about what Anonymous (the same ppl who hacked the defense dept website? Who knows?) did to Catie, we know because Anons posted it on the website. Catie's mom has alluded to stuff that may go way beyond the story in ED.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-03-29
Boxxy: a culture hero of the new age; A culture hero you can JO to.

Sorry I don't want to make anymore jokes about this but really you can't seem to help yourself and so can't I...

She didn't deserve being mocked and photoshopped for having a silly VLOG, I'll give you that, but it's not like the world would have been deprived of her great art had she never made a video.
Furthermore, when she first started making videos, Boxxy was a young girl making a silly kid video that became popular with a stupid and puerile crowd. While the drama that occurred on whatever website about this was probably undeserved and poor kid and whatnot, the fact that you, a grown man, get involved and concerned about some stupid teenage shit is what seems ridiculous to most people. You call her an icon for the new age, we say "yawn, boring btard drama over teenage kid making teenage video".

You seem to be under the impression that if you just managed to convey the matter to us with the right words, that we will GET IT, and that it will all make sense to us. What you don't understand is that we never cared, and we never will; in fact, precisely the very reason why we find this obsession of yours funny is because it is over some trivial bullshit that we just don't care about. If we found this even the least bit interesting, then probably we'd say, "well, I totally get why JHM is so interested in this fascinating topic. It's his life's obsession". The fact that your topic of expertise and life's vocation is "random internet meme #7863" is funny.

Let me break it to you: Boxxy has never made any video that is about any THING in particular, and she's not a great actress nor a beautiful model, and she has never made great art. You may see one or more of those things in her 'cause you are in love with her and that's ok, but maybe you need to accept the fact that we will not come to love Boxxy through you...

Or maybe I'm just a cynic; perhaps through your video editing she can become your "Girl with the Pearl Earring", the Gala to your Picasso. In a way, that would be an awesome ending to this story: if 600 years from now, people will be in a museum watching your art installation about Boxxy, and everyone will wonder who was this enigmatic girl with the 2500 discrete portrait-frames... all signed JHM.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-03-29
And the rest of poe we're all just dead and rotting and nobody cares.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-30
You brought it up, asshole. And now you seem offended that I answered your challenge.

You thought that it would be fun to post my completely innocent Santa Claus video and mock me. Let's see if I get this straight. To mock people is a sign of correct priorities and and mental health. To care about something is weird and pathological, and usually points to some sexual obsession.


>>A culture hero you can JO to.

I have never jerked off to Boxxy. If that's what you're into, I'd rather not hear about it.

When I criticized TFL Bill for advocating torture for women as a penalty for certain crimes, he told me that I was criticizing him so that women on tghe internet would want to have sex with me. It's every internet tough guy fucktard's go-to explanation for most human motivation.


A lot of what you say ("None of her videos are about anything") is emprically disprovable, but it doesn't matter how good or bad her videos are.

The central thing is that SHE WAS PERSECUTED BY INTERNET TOUGH GUYS FOR BEING A SYMBOL OF KINDNESS, and for no other reason.

And I care about that. If that puts a bad taste in your mouth, perhaps you'd like to suck my balls.

EvilHomer - 2013-03-30
>> SHE WAS PERSECUTED BY INTERNET TOUGH GUYS FOR BEING A SYMBOL OF KINDNESS

Boxxy is a "symbol of kindess"?

I knew she was a sex symbol, but I was not aware of this particular facet of her appeal. Please explain.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-30
>>You seem to be under the impression that if you just managed to convey the matter to us with the right words, that we will GET IT, and that it will all make sense to us.

I see what you did there. You provoke me, and then you act like I'M provoking YOU, like for some reason I need to change YOUR mind. The truth is that it bugs you when people give a shit.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-03-31
Why you call me an asshole? :(

You being madly in love with Boxxy is pretty much THE redeeming thing in all of this. There is something noble and endearing about you being madly obsessed over an impossible May-December relationship that you know will never happen.

You become like the old ship captain who is married to the sea, and who knows one day will inexorably be swallowed by its depths. You are the man who is gradually losing his sanity, and knows so, yet continues down that path because he simply refuses to let go.

Is it crazy? Yes, of course, but it is also pure. When you chat with her mom it makes me think "Geez he is just concerned for the one he loves and wants to know about her, by any means, even through the seemingly creepy way of chatting with her mom" and somehow in my mind it all makes sense then.

If you're not in love with her, then you're just a random sleazy old guy who bleaches his beard for a video response to a teenager who dances sexy for the internets.

So I don't know, I guess it's like the ending to The Life of Pi. I have two stories, neither of them make sense, both have the same end product, but I'd rather go with the magical one that makes you look good.

AND SO IT GOES WITH GOD.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-29
Anyway, to be continued
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-30
You're not aware of much, and when I explain things to you, you don't retain them. Your ignorance is not my problem, and I'm not willing to put any more effort on it. but here's some relevant copypasta





I like Boxxy, and here's why. I'm not post pubescent (over 25), I have a girlfriend, and I don't fantasize about her. I like her because she is the antidote, the antithesis, the hemlock in the cup to Internet Tough Guyism. I was surprised to see that, for all its posturing, /b/ really does hold one thing sacred: its "bad muthafucka" image of itself. /b/ really believes that it's frightening, that it's tougher than a Ford Chevy, that it's badass masculinity personified, in a sense. And, before, there were very few ways to disrupt this image, to give it a good hard kick in the shins. And then Boxxy came along. Boxxy love is everything /b/ hates - passive, gentle, adorable, sweet. It gives without asking, it loves without asking in return. Instead of being aggressively faux-adult, it's happily faux-childlike. That's why Boxxy became a meme - because she DIDN'T want the attention; because she provided no pics (as the /b/tards will attest). As a result, Boxxy turned into the most successful way to troll the /b/tards ever devised. It actually makes the gore and violence and sexism and racism fantards squeal, because it hits them where it hurts - in their image of themselves. How can they be tough, scary guys when their favorite hangout is one long love poem to Boxxy love? So that's why I love Boxxy - the sound of /b/'s humiliation is sweet music to my ears.
EvilHomer - 2013-03-30
I don't get it.

Are you saying that you read a dated copypasta, and took the message contained therein at face value? Mr Holmes, I'm surprised at you. btards write stuff like that because it's ridiculous, and NOT true. That way other btards will whine about it and spend hours trying to point out all the ways in which it's ridiculous and not true. It's called "trolling"; you feign ignorance and string people along, getting them to talk and talk and talk, just for larfs.

You're too smart to get your opinions from troll copypastas. Surely you have a better defense for that "kindness" statement?

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-30
You're never going to get it. Somehow, I'll have to make my peace with that.


Obvious troll is obvious.

EvilHomer - 2013-03-30
youtu.be/Cdiz0k0Rudw

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-31
>>You being madly in love with Boxxy is pretty much THE redeeming thing in all of this. There is something noble and endearing about you being madly obsessed over an impossible May-December relationship that you know will never happen.

God, I could kill you with my bare hands right now. Calling you an asshole is an insult to assholes.

I never tried to bring anyone around to my point of view, but in moments of weakness, I find myself wanting people to believe that my point of view exists.

I'm incredibly angry, but thirty minutes from now I'll be fine, and I'm never ever going to care what you think about anything ever again, and I'm never going to acknowledge you in any way.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-03-31
>>Or maybe I'm just a cynic; perhaps through your video editing she can become your "Girl with the Pearl Earring", the Gala to your Picasso.


That's Dali, genius.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-04-01
Yes those were two separate examples of a particularly famous muse to an Artist.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-04-01
If it's anything to you I regret having posted your videos here, believe it or not. I still think these videos are weird and inappropriate, but I don't think you've done anything "bad". It has left me with a bad taste in my mouth (and no it's not your balls), but I did it, so there's that...

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-04-01
Gala was married to Dali, not picasso.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-04-01
I'd like to kick your teeth in. Would that leave a bad taste in your mouth?

I can't tell if you're trolling me or if you've really got shit between your ears, but I can't take this anymore.

. It's not the feeling that I'm being unjustly accused that has got me mad enough to kill someone. No one has ever accused me of anything specific. it's the sense of everything I say being discarded in favor of a cliche. It's like no one sees me, they see the cliche. And the cliche is not very interesting.
It's not like I don't have weird issues, but my issues are interesting.

I've taken my videos down. I need to find a portal of imagination.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-04-01
Sorry about the violence. That shit's not cool.
Adham Nu'man - 2013-04-01
:(

Adham Nu'man - 2013-04-01
The sad face is for you taking down your videos, not you kicking my teeth in.

You put so much work into most of them. They are really cool.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-04-01
The weird irony here is that for two weeks I've been working on my most elaborate, ambitious video ever, a music video for Iggy and the Stooges "TV Eye", which was largely inspired by you, by your enthusiasm for "I GOTTA RIGHT"

I went far beyond previous efforts, writing shell scripts that use the composite command to build layers of frames to create a dark parody of the old BRADY BUNCH opening credits.

http://tinyurl.com/c6b2bev

I apologize for my anger. It was evident long before now that a portal of evil is no place for the innocent. The new video will be going up on my long-neglected blog,

http://ugglybabee.blogspot.com/

along with anything I really take down. Last night, if I could have ordered a drone strike on the servers, I would have done it, today, I'm wondering if there's really a point. But I can't be hanging out here anymore. If you see me here in the future, it will be purely out of weakness.

>>Or maybe I'm just a cynic; perhaps through your video editing she can become your "Girl with the Pearl Earring", the Gala to your Picasso.

The proper analogy is Andy Warhol and Marilyn/Liz/Evis

Adham Nu'man - 2013-04-01
"But I can't be hanging out here anymore. If you see me here in the future, it will be purely out of weakness."

That's a shame man, and my most sincere apologies for any emotional distress I may have caused.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2013-04-04
You know, I totally get why someone would think I have a romantic interest in the young lady. It's quite naturally the first thought that comes to mind. What's disappointing is that literally NO ONE was able to produce a SECOND thought. No one bothered to revise or question their initial assumptions, or even to examine their initial assumptions enough to back them up with a real argument. I certainly would have hoped to convince somone to admit an original persepective just enough to acknowledge that I believe what I believe. But even that just wouldn't compute. Nothing sticks.

I don't think I should take it personally. I suspect that the prejudice that I've been coming up against here is more about girls than about me. The idea of a young woman with a reputation for whimsy and extreme girlyness producing something of merit never reaches the level of being discussed.

I don't really need to worry about it. I don't feel like I'm accused of anything. Honest, I never did jerk off to Boxxy's picture. Why would I masturbate to a girl making faces when there's porn? On the other hand, they say the average woman in porn is nineteen, so let's ALL do the motherfucking math, shall we? (Catie is 21)


Seriously, I would have expected at least one person to have just one lousy independent thought. It did not happen. I'm very dissapointed.
Chocolate Jesus - 2014-06-18
In the interest of following relevant regulations and procedures I am labeling this post: Evidence Number 40.09A.

Bort - 2013-04-15
I really want to hear "Santa Baby" as sung by Patrick Starfish.
Chocolate Jesus - 2014-06-18
Oh.

Holy shit.
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