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Desc:Get ready for Brony tears.
Category:Cartoons & Animation, Business
Tags:my little pony, hasbro, mlp, brony, equestria girls
Submitted:Macho Nacho
Date:05/13/13
Views:3083
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Comment count is 72
zerdzer
this could be a problem
MrBuddy
The zoosexuals are going to be very, very confused.

Binro the Heretic
Oh dear.

Why am I grown so cold?
Mancakes
You know the smile that the Grinch does that just inches across his face with malice?

I have that. I can't wait to see the tears.
fedex
me too, ear to ear!

fedex
wait...IN MOVIE THEATERS?!?!


::tears of joy:::

Cena_mark
I think its a limited release. Now I just need to figure out my disguise.

Xenocide
Doesn't that mean that by the end you'll learn to love ponies and also develop a swollen heart condition?

EvilHomer
Hey Cena, if you don't mind being the ass-end, I can whip a retarded dragon costume.

poorwill
You actually didn't mean 'whip up', did you?

BiggerJ
I felt my hair coil.

EvilHomer
Either way works, poorwill.

Albuquerque Halsey
http://25.media.tumblr.com/cdb83130da75eb09490f37bb1f0ca73f/tumblr _mfaco8WhZG1ra0vc3o1_500.gif

cognitivedissonance
Surely they'd not recognize that Undertaker/Crow/Juggalo face makeup thing you do? Right?

Jim Quin
Bronies will attempt to jerk off to this.
The setting will remind them of high school, where every single one of them had his shit kicked out half a lifetime ago.
Bronies will cry and piss themselves and jerk off some more while buying every single piece of merchandise intended for tween girls.
Born in the RSR
The only thing I find objectionable is Spike getting to be a dog. Poor spike...
Nikon
do not want
Cena_mark
I originally heard that it wasn't going to have any ties to the Pony Program. I don't know about this, but its worked on by the same FIM crew so it shouldn't be that bad.
Redford
WHAT
MongoMcMichael
I never liked them blue people. Or them mixed purple types.
Cena_mark
So you didn't like Doug either?

EvilHomer
Doug was cool, but that Skeeter fellah he hung out with...

Caminante Nocturno
This used to be a nice neighborhood until those earth tones moved in.

EvilHomer
OK, so, not being a brony, or a colossal fucking dork, I'm naturally curious as to what all the fuss is about. I've been checking online trying to find good arguments from each side, but so far all I can come up with is EG Apologists calling EG Pessimists jerks, and vice versa. I *get* that people have strong feelings either for or against Equestria Girls... the question is, why?

Now, I don't want to rush ahead of myself, and I don't want to pass judgement on this film too hastily. After all, I didn't think I'd like FiM and, well, I think we all know how THAT turned out. Right?

However, I will say that, having now watched the trailer, I'm feeling more than a little skeptical about this film's prospects. There are two mane problems here, which I'd like to briefly address:



--------------------------------------------------
1. The "high school" angle. One of the things that I think works really well about FiM, from the perspective of an older male fan, is the age range of the ponies. The Mane 6 are not little kids: while their exact age is never stated, they seem to be young adults, most likely in their early 20s. Most of the ponies have already entered the workforce, the only pony still in school is Twilight, and she's a grad student doing independent study, possibly even the Equestrian equivalent of a post-doctoral candidate. This makes the Mane 6 more relateable for older fans; when Rarity is trying to network and impress influential businessponies to further her own career, when Applejack is working double and triple shifts to make ends meet, when Pinkie is goofing off and partying hard late into the night like some kind of crunked-out co-ed crazypony, these are all things that we, as adults, can empathize with and appreciate.

But placing the ponies in high school takes away that relatability. Instead of work and friendships and pursuing adult goals, like slowly becoming a cat lady because of your untreated, crippling social anxiety, you've got... homework, and fitting in, ogling hunky boys and going to Prom. Ugh. Now, I can see how this approach might appeal to a certain demographic - it should play well with teen and tween girls, who so far have only really had the Cutie Mark Crusaders to relate to on a 1:1 level (and, since the CMC are gradeschool ponies, even that's a bit of a stretch for teenage pegasisters) But it's just not for me.

The high school setting could easily raise a horseload of problems from a story quality point of view - I don't think I need to mention to you guys how terrible "high school dramas" typically are, or examine in detail all the bland, predictable plot-and-character traps these things almost always fall into. I know I'm preaching to the choir here. But I will say that MLP's writing staff is very talented (arguably the most talented writers in cartooning today), and if anyone can pull off a teen drama story without turning it into a stale retread of every other teen drama story in the history of cinema, it's them. So rather than speculate about what issues "might" arise, I'll just say that there are two *specific* issues, based on what I've *actually* seen in this minute long trailer:

-------------
First, it does look like there's going to be a romantic subplot. Please see ( www.youtu.be/Td6BzOAn7do ) for a very good critical analysis of romantic subplots in MLP; I agree with pretty much everything she says. (tl;dw, there aren't any, and this is good)

Second, the fact that they seem to have turned Rainbow Dash into a SOCCER PLAYER. Ugh. Rainbow Dash deserves better. She should be in the Junior ROTC or something, prepping for a career as a military pegasister, not mincing around a soccerfield like some namby-pamby European wuss pony. As a veteran myself, and a firm believer in Human Dash being characterized as a hot shot fighter ace and/or stogie-chomping Mobile Suit pilot, I consider this to be a slap in the face.
-------------





--------------------------------------------------
2. The only pony who actually goes through the portal is Twilight Sparkle. Alitwi, no less!

Now, I know Twilight Sparkle is a fan favorite, especially amongst the self-diagnosed aspie-Brony crowd, but I'm going to go on record here as saying that Twilight is the WEAKEST of the Mane 6. I'm sorry, I don''t mean to offend anyone, but it's true. She's always been the weakest pony, and not just since she turned into an alicorn (although yes, I do believe that the alicorn arc, if left unreversed, will only serve to further harm her character)

The thing is, Twilight is kind of boring. She's not a *terrible* character, and I don't *hate* her - I really want to stress this point, because I do like Twilight Sparkle, and I don't want to give you guys the wrong impression here. Twilight is a wonderful character, and she's easily in my top twenty ponies... she's just not in the top five, y'dig? Rarely, if ever, is she capable of carrying a plot on her own; she's too much of a Mare-y Sue to keep the conflicts and tension necessary for an interesting plot going for long. She works best as a kind of "straight pony", an anchor around which the other Five can work the room with their pony charms.

And yet, she's *the only one* who goes to the Real World. What. The buck.

Yeah, I know, there are Mirror Universe Mane Fives there, but it's not the same thing, damn it! These humans (presumably) don't share the same experiences and knowledge base that the Primary Universe Mane Fives have access to. Can we really take Mirror Universe Rainbow Dash seriously, knowing that she's never experienced the thunderous roar of a Sonic Rainboom, rippling outwards from her toned, supple flanks? Can we really admire Mirror Universe Fluttershy, knowing she's never risked her life for her friends by staring down a wicked cockatrice? Oh, but we've got Twilight "Slam a Door in Spike's face" Sparkle, big bucking whoop.

Worse, this plot drives a further wedge between Twilight and the rest of the cast; Celestia herself flat out admits that crossing over into the human universe is something SO SUPER SPECIAL that even the ALICORN PRINCESS IN CHARGE OF THE GODDAMN SUN can't do it. Again, it's symptomatic of her flank-first slide into full blown Mare-y Sue territory. It's embarrassing for her, and it's unfair to her friends, who are becoming increasingly marginalized and expendable. Where does it end? FEMA Glue Camps?

Interestingly enough, while this plot invalidates a number of famous fanon scenarios (such as "My Little Dashie" and all derivative works, in which Princess Celestia CLEARLY states that Rainbow Dash was the first pony to access the human dimension), it lends further credence to my Minecraft-MLP crossover story, in which Equestria is destroyed by an increasingly megalomaniacal, all-powerful Twilight Sparkle, and all her friends are cast into exile, setting up an underground patriot resistance movement in the world of Minecraft.










But, again, it's too early to say whether this will be a good film or not, and, not being a Brony myself, I don't want to rush ahead of myself, or spend too much time thinking about this stuff.
Caminante Nocturno
Human Twilight Sparkle looks like Stocking's straight-laced little sister.

EvilHomer
She does!

Wander
I'm not a brony but *multipage essay on my little pony*

hahahahahaha

Nominal
Please tell me you copy pasted that from somewhere else.

fedex
two "mane" problems?

i see what you did there

SteamPoweredKleenex
I can tell you're over-analyzing this thing, because that essay doesn't read:

"Hasbro wants its own Bratz dolls and doesn't care how it gets them."

That's all. Everything else is just shoe-horned in, which is fine by me. Some of my favorite cartoon shows of my childhood were toy commercials for Hasbro, and when the writers were basically just given a crap-pile of toys to write stories about with little to no interference from the suits, half the time they didn't do too badly. The other half was often akin to a blow-fueled fever dream, which still had some entertainment value, much like a train wreck.

Meerkat
Get a fucking job already.

Cena_mark
You're right Steampowered. Hasbro wanting to make an action figure gave us Sgt. Slaughter the GI JOE!

Cena_mark
One thing I wonder is that since Twilight Sparkle is the only one to go through the portal, but meets the human equivalents of her friends on the other side, will these equivalents have normal human names?

Aelric
Wh...what the....What the fuck is happening? Wh...Se...No...Seriously...what the hell are you people doing? Is this like the fucking zombie virus? How is this shit spreading in here?

Spaceman Africa
I will give 5 stars for EvilHomer's hypernerd essay though

Kabbage
MARE-Y SUE

TONED, SUPPLE FLANKS

Bravo *****

Nikon
Aelric, it's easier if you don't fight it. It's something everypony went through.

Five ghost stars for EvilHomer's awesome essay.

CIWB
"not being a Brony myself"

Jesus Christ. I've you've ever thought about this children's TV show for more than 30 seconds, you're a Brony.

CIWB
*If.

Sue me, I'm drunk.

memedumpster
A horse was once a Roman senator, you're racist.

BHWW
"Let me ask you a question. Why would a man whose shirt says "Genius at Work" spend all of his time watching a children's cartoon show?"

Gmork
INCITATUS SINGLEHANDEDLY FIXED THE PALM REED SURPLUS

LetsFistAgain
PONY SHOT FIRST

Caminante Nocturno
The thing that bothers me is that Human Twilight Sparkle takes her dog to school and nobody says anything about it.
Xenocide
I actually find it kind of depressing that a show created with an openly feminist vibe to it has now been dumbed down to be just another generic girly cartoon where the world revolves around boys and fashion. It would be nice if just once there was a popular franchise that didn't conflate the feminine with the trivial.

More importantly, WHY DID THE BLINDS SPONTANEOUSLY GO UP WHEN TWILIGHT HUGGED THAT GUY AT :48. IS THAT THEIR METAPHOR FOR HIM GETTING AN ERECTION.
muffinbutt
I want to know how much of that is marketing, and if it is what percentage does it actually increase profits? Are girls 50 percent more likely to get into that crap, or is it only like 2 percent?

If it doesn't increase margins at all that would give me more fuel for my pointless disgust.

chumbucket
So looking forward to this entire universe folding into a cataclysm upon itself.
Kabbage
Dear Princess Celestia,

They're giving me only one call, so I thought it would be best to give today's friendship report over the phone! My first day of school was a little bumpy. I misjudged the reaction of two chemicals during my science class, and the cap shot off the bottle in a puff of smoke! I was tackled to the ground by two armed security guards, who then escorted me to processing, where I was charged with “possession/discharge of a weapon on school property and discharging a destructive device.” Spike has been confiscated by the state, and his wereabouts are currently unknown. I would seem to be facing felony charges, in addition to expulsion from the school grounds.

More to come in the coming court case! Please send my regards to everyone, as well as a heartfelt plea to please god get me out of this waking nightmare world of hairless apes~


EvilHomer
*****

fedex
yes, bonus fairy stars for this **************

Nikon
Five cutie marks for this one too.

dairyqueenlatifah
Not since the 80s have I seen shameless acts of mass toy marketing through mediocrity to this degree.
Spaceman Africa
At least now they'll only be pedophiles as opposed to zoophiliac pedophiles.
Mother_Puncher
Im sorry but this whole "the magic of friendship" thing is shit and made up by people who have never had friends.
dairyqueenlatifah
These shows are intended for the same audience as the Disney Princess franchise and the CGI Barbie movies, both of which feature the very same theme.

Hell even the next age group step of girly cartoons like The Winx Club pulls that "friendship is a magical supernatural force that can beat ANYTHING!" crap. It's not even limited to America; even all the anime aimed at little girls like Sailor Moon and Tokyo Mew Mew did that.

You're probably right though, I'd imagine the dudes who created all these cartoons for little girls probably didn't have a huge circle of friends.

SteamPoweredKleenex
In a way, it's also a trope of anime (a trope I dislike intensely) that emotion or some other equivalent is some kind of power source or a macguffin-killing version of holy water.

I have all the FEELS, so I can blow up all the bad guys!

Xenocide
YES, TEACHING CHILDREN TO VALUE THEIR FRIENDS IS TERRIBLE. EMOTIONS ARE DUMB AND SHOULD BE HATED, ETC.

I know you guys really want us to know how much you hate this children's cartoon, but Christ, listen to yourselves.

Caminante Nocturno
Did all three of you get left at the altar?

Nominal
All I know is that I witnessed two September freshmen dorm meet n greets in college. Each time, it was always the girl roommates who declared themselves BFFs the loudest who, within one month, became total mortal enemies who couldn't stand to be in the same room together. Without fail it was always because what a "total slut" the other one was.

dairyqueenlatifah
But Xenocide, Caminante Nocturno; I like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and I love Sailor Moon. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned these facts more than once in the past.

I never once said I didn't like the shows I was talking about. I was just pointing out the fact that they're all for little girls and all feature said repeated silly theme. Never said I didn't like said theme either.

You guys sure jump to baseless conclusions about people easily.

Mother_Puncher
I'm only talking about how there is no fucking magic in friendship you nerds. Yes Xenocide teaching kids to be open and friendly with people is dumb. They should learn the satisfaction of a hard days work and the value of silence and solidarity at an early age. Deal with it. And shut up, Nocty. We're men. MEEEEEEEEEENNNNN. You're just some chump loser

EvilHomer
Yeah, but see MoPo, that's just it. My Little Pony DOES teach us how to be men. Applejack and Rainbow Dash are arguably the two "manliest" characters on television right now. Applejack is ALL ABOUT a hard days work. Rainbow Dash REPRESENTS the Element of Solidarity (well, Loyalty, but it's almost the same thing). Fluttershy always shuts up! And so on and so on.

See, before I started watching the show, I thought like you did: I thought MLP was just some girly frou frou crap, about feelings and having periods and knitting or shit. But it's not. The Mane Six run the entire spectrum of gender roles, including two ponies who fill traditionally "male" roles", two who fill traditionally "female" roles, and two who are sort of in-between. Better still, none of these roles are presented with a sneer - the show doesn't look down on Rainbow for being competitive and individualistic, nor does it look down on Rarity for dreaming of landing a rich husband. There's no judgement, and each pony is valued, without irony, regardless of how "liberal" or "reactionary" their gender attitudes may seem to us. Now granted, they're all chicks, so I guess you can whine and complain about how Rainbow and AJ are queering the feminine and turning our little girls into badass fighter pilots and skoal chomping cowboys when they should be knitting or having periods, but there's absolutely nothing "wrong" with the show from a male perspective. In fact, it may even be the last bastion of traditionally masculine values left in the modern Western cultural narrative!

And if there was no magic in friendship, how do you explain the bolt of sparkling friendship energy that the ponies used to blast Nightmare Moon?

Mother_Puncher
Hang on. There is no "o" in Puncher

Caminante Nocturno
It's a silent "o".

SteamPoweredKleenex
"Did all three of you get left at the altar?"

For the last time, it's not normal to tie little girls down to shrines of pagan gods.

Gmork
you motherfuckers gave me heartburn
EvilHomer
It'll only burn for a minute, buddy. We've got to crack that tough outer layer of permafrost that's encrusting your ventricles; once we're through that, your heart will melt much more easily and comfortably, even at room temperature.

Would you like a bridle to bite down on?

Jet Bin Fever
I find the amount of comments you guys have made about this dumb bullshit spinoff of some other dumb bullshit really disturbing.
sasazuka
I'm looking forward to it. I think it looks fun.

Not sure what they mean "In Movie Theatres from June 16". Does the "from" instead of "on" imply limited engagements with a gradual rollout instead of a wide release? Also surprised they're using the British/Canadian spelling of "theatre" instead of the American "theater". I know it's actually animated in Canada but I didn't know Canadians were also in charge of promotion.
Spaceman Africa
I loved seeing some of the brony reactions to this. A lot of them were along the lines of "WHO COULD HAVE WANTED THIS??" like they were oblivious to the fact children also watch this too.
Scrimmjob
AHEM...

from the facebook of one Christian Weston Chandler

THEY ARE NOT SERIOUS!!!

Officially Turning the Ponies HUMAN?!! That is just terrible! WTF are they thinking; they're inviting High School Pedofile Perverts into the fanbase this way. As is the horse enthusiasts were not enough.

If they really wanted to bring humans into G4, they would do best to replicate the G1 Pilot with Megan and her family.

I am still mixed-up and not sure about "Transformers Prime" going "Beast Wars" And i do like a High School Drama when it's good, like "daria", "MTV's Undressed", "O'Grady" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch".

High School Drama for My Little Pony?!! They ought to re-air Generation 2 with "My Little Pony Tales".

With due respect, Lauren Faust, Tara Strong the rest of the crew are Out Of Their Minds in turning the Ponies Human! Just Invite Megan, or re-air G2!

Christian Weston Chandler,
Ruckersville VA, USA
May 14, 2013
Mister Yuck
What I like about MLP videos is they quickly turn POE into the exhibit.
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