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Category:Educational, Science & Technology
Tags:fire, lighter, pyromania, arson, gum wrapper
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Comment count is 15
The Mothership
ok, but how to I first make the prison scissors?
Prison battery not included.

Indeed. Everyone knows the way you get a light in the joint is to take your paperclip from your legal documents, wrap it in some loose TP, and ram the ends into the contacts of your dorm's electric kettle (used for rehydrating your Maruchan cups and brewing instant coffee) so it sparks and ignites the paper. But maybe some prisons provide Wrigley's and AAs instead.

prison scissors would be a good name for a band, or my firstborn.

Prison Scissors would be a good Uschi Digart movie.

Oscar Wildcat
Use your fingers, MS. Pro tip from a dear old friend who knows: use a 9V.

Or you just jam the nearest metal object (paper clip/staple/spring/electrical cord from some other electronic) in to the electric socket/fluorescent light socket and spark or heat up whatever you want.
The best how-to's are prison how-to's. Move over Martha Stewart.
Oscar Wildcat
Nonsense: Martha is uniquely qualified to mine that market niche.

Jet Bin Fever
Maybe I'll use this knowledge in the coming apocalypse.
Where there are no lighters or matches, but streets are littered with functional AA batteries.

Jet Bin Fever
You'd be surprised. I don't smoke and found myself unable to light fireworks last week.

This is how MacGyver learned all his techniques.
You may order FM Radios and AA batteries from the canteen (there may also be TVs and video players around with remotes.) The best metal comes from a razor blades (pried out of disposable safety razors.) The thinness on the edge of the blade makes it heat up the most there where the current density is high vs. the rest of the blade, which is folded so it makes the best contact with battery terminals.

For a prolonged flame, a twisted shred of paper embedded in chapstick makes an improvised candle. This is a way to smoke rock or melt plastic, possibly even solder things.
(Carefully "bent" at a larger radius rather than folded. Especially in prisons, the blades are cheesy enough that they will break if you really try to crease it and the metal will weaken and be thinner.)

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