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Category:Educational, Science & Technology
Tags:fire, lighter, pyromania, arson, gum wrapper
Submitted:Pillager
Date:07/15/13
Views:1919
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Comment count is 15
The Mothership
ok, but how to I first make the prison scissors?
memedumpster
Prison battery not included.

exy
Indeed. Everyone knows the way you get a light in the joint is to take your paperclip from your legal documents, wrap it in some loose TP, and ram the ends into the contacts of your dorm's electric kettle (used for rehydrating your Maruchan cups and brewing instant coffee) so it sparks and ignites the paper. But maybe some prisons provide Wrigley's and AAs instead.

yogarfield
prison scissors would be a good name for a band, or my firstborn.

Old_Zircon
Prison Scissors would be a good Uschi Digart movie.

Oscar Wildcat
Use your fingers, MS. Pro tip from a dear old friend who knows: use a 9V.

THA SUGAH RAIN
Or you just jam the nearest metal object (paper clip/staple/spring/electrical cord from some other electronic) in to the electric socket/fluorescent light socket and spark or heat up whatever you want.
chumbucket
The best how-to's are prison how-to's. Move over Martha Stewart.
Oscar Wildcat
Nonsense: Martha is uniquely qualified to mine that market niche.

Jet Bin Fever
Maybe I'll use this knowledge in the coming apocalypse.
Cube
Where there are no lighters or matches, but streets are littered with functional AA batteries.

Jet Bin Fever
You'd be surprised. I don't smoke and found myself unable to light fireworks last week.

MrBuddy
This is how MacGyver learned all his techniques.
Gypsy_Dildo_Factory
You may order FM Radios and AA batteries from the canteen (there may also be TVs and video players around with remotes.) The best metal comes from a razor blades (pried out of disposable safety razors.) The thinness on the edge of the blade makes it heat up the most there where the current density is high vs. the rest of the blade, which is folded so it makes the best contact with battery terminals.

For a prolonged flame, a twisted shred of paper embedded in chapstick makes an improvised candle. This is a way to smoke rock or melt plastic, possibly even solder things.
Gypsy_Dildo_Factory
(Carefully "bent" at a larger radius rather than folded. Especially in prisons, the blades are cheesy enough that they will break if you really try to crease it and the metal will weaken and be thinner.)

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