Hipster dog day afternoon
I want to find out where this little monster lives and hire a bunch of hobos to play trumpets outside his building
Why don't you train classically?
What gets me is how (he? she?) spends all this time lecturing the poor dude on the nature of "art" and on technically-accomplished "talent", then right at the end, name-drops The Grateful Dead and Bob Dylan. Regardless of how you feel about these bands, it's a universally established fact that they couldn't play an instrument to save their lives.
Have you actually heard either of those bands?
I don't have anything against people who like Dylan or the Dead. People's tastes are people's tastes, and if you're into either of those bands, I guess we can still be friends. I know you really like Zappa and the Butthole Surfers, OZ, so I wouldn't be surprised if those two were also on your list.
But my god, they are awful. Speaking from a strictly objective and clinical standpoint, mind you. Dylan sang like a weasel with throat cancer and played his guitar only about as well as your average teenage busker. And the Grateful Dead shouldn't even qualify as a band; they're just white noise to drop acid to. Even measured against the standards of their time (let's face it, the late 60s and early 70s were one of the lowest points that Western music has ever sunk to) they were pretty crap.
I will grant you that both groups were culturally significant, for what that's worth. Dylan was the ur-hipster, and the Dead were the ur-juggalos. And I admit, I went through a period when I would blast Ripple out the car window just to be ironic; I'm not proud of it, but there it is. However, I maintain that, in terms of raw talent, song-writing chops, and technical expertise, D and The D rank just below the guy who made Crazy Frog.
Hey, don't shoot the messenger!
I'm no blue-blooded elitist. I like plenty of bands who can't play for shit; I firmly believe that being talentless or poorly trained does not mean a band is terrible (and as a corollary to this: being talented and well trained does not mean a band is good). Now in this particular instance, I'd say the bands in question are both talentless *and* terrible, but the one condition does not necessitate the other.
All I'm saying is, if you're going to pull the whole elite music snob routine, and berate a poor street musician for not being some goddamn trumpet virtuoso like yourself, then you should at least make an effort to not namedrop a couple of notorious hacks as if that somehow proves your superiority. Right? We can agree on that much, yes? Like, imagine if I was to pull something like this on a street guitarist, and then turned around and said "You suck, I walked Kurt Cobain and Justin Bieber out on stage, who are you?" That's basically what the halfing's doing here. Acting all superior because he's schmoozed with musicians who are probably no better than the poor fellow he's being shitty to.
It's not even relevant, Bob Dylan didn't play the trumpet.
I'd rather listen to Wesly Willis than Bob Dylan.
Also, if Bob Dylan played trumpet... It would probably sound like SKKOOBOODOOOWOOBAHDEEEEEEEBOOO BAHDOOOWAP YOU GOTTA SERVE SOMEBODY!!!!
Why do people like that guy's music so much?
|Shoebox Joe |
Stand tall. Let those Social Security benefits prove your worth!
|Hugo Gorilla |
I was willing to believe this guy was qualified to criticize music until he bragged about knowing the Grateful Dead.
WORLD STAR JAZZ FUSION
|THA SUGAH RAIN |
Where are you from?
|American Standard |
Bless the good Samaritan who immortalized this perfect moment.
|Jet Bin Fever |
HALF-MAN! HALF-MAN! HALF-MAN!
People actually talk like Al Pacino?
It's like trumpet guy's schizophrenia manifested in the real world, like that story out of the Martian Chronicles
Lecture enchantment does +5 damage
|Oscar Wildcat |
It's like NYC personified.
Ugh, this poor man.
Wow, the sadness radiating from this mouthy little fucker.
he's really not doing himself any favors by carrying his belongings in a sack or having that sweaty pageboy haircut
I'm loving the Cringe Channel. Its a goldmine.
Compete, compete, do it for the boys
Empty barrels make the most noise
You're always on the move
You've always got something to prove
What the fuck are you fighting for?
Is it because you're five foot four?
You better be happy with what you've got
You'll never get any more
You laugh at a man when he tries
You're trying to make up for your size
To you life is a rivalry
Keep a step ahead of me
SMALL MAN, BIG MOUTH
|pyslexic dharmacist |
God help this guy if he ever ends up in the French Quarter, he'd be the next great American spree killer.
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