I was almost on Double Dare. They had open auditions at the Mall and my mom reluctantly took me. She dropped the ball (literally) in a physical challenge and even though we got more questions right we didn't get the trip to Florida. She felt horrible, as if she had crushed my lifelong dream. Instead, I can walk down the street in broad daylight without being recognized by stoners who watch Gas at 4 in the morning as the fat dipshit they saw on Double Dare last night.