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Desc:The empire of taste!
Category:Advertisements, Business
Tags:new york, restaurant, staten island, troy, greek people
Submitted:baleen
Date:08/21/14
Views:1371
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Comment count is 26
Oscar Wildcat
This sounds super awesome but should I trust some mook out on the Island with handling raw game?
memedumpster
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
SteamPoweredKleenex
The comments on YouTube are hilarious.
chumbucket
"oh hi mark"

cognitivedissonance
Is this real or is this one of those Link and Lance commercials?
baleen
Look at his other videos. This is most definitely real.

kingarthur
OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS OTHER VIDEOS. They're hilarious.

Hooker
Is this from DealExtreme?
Sexy Duck Cop
I don't know whether this is earnest or trolling but either way it perfectly encompasses everything I hate about New York and the horrible people that dwell within it.
Sexy Duck Cop
Also is he playing music from NBC's Hannibal in the background? Because if this place sells shaved Eddie Izzard legs I'll take back everything I just said.

baleen
New York is magical.

Potrod
Replace "New York" with Staten Island and I might understand? Staten Island, and this, have very little to do with the rest of the city. Plus how can you hate something this goofy!?

Nominal
New York is indeed horrible all over and filled with horrible people, all bitter that they're paying more and working harder than everyone else for the privilege of wallowing in eternal misery in that filthy disgusting vermin ridden hell hole.

All hyperbole aside, there's nothing in New York you can't do more cheaply and with less filth in any other city. New Yorkers will deny this fact to the death.

baleen
"All hyperbole aside, there's nothing in New York you can't do more cheaply and with less filth in any other city. "

I've lived all over the place and this is bullshit.
It's pretty easy to hate New York though, it's a really fucking hard place to live, it's dirty, and it will chew you up and spit you out. Currently dazzled at my hometown of Seattle's exorbitant rents and the cultureless boring nothing filled with techbros that one gets in return. But it's pretty! But then so are a lot of places.

However, there is nothing more romantic than being with the woman you love in Central Park in the spring. There's ALWAYS SOMETHING TO DO that will blow your mind. If you suffer from insomnia, there's always something to do at night too, and no, not just for cokeheads.

If you get off on crazy amounts of energy and stimulus from all forms of the creative universe, than New York is a rewarding place to live. And I love the boroughs too. And I love the New York and Jersey countryside too.

Sexy Duck Cop
I just moved into a beautiful new apartment in one of the nicest spots in LA (Westwood, just off Wilshire, a mile from UCLA) that has hardwood floors, a gorgeous 4th-story balcony, a rooftop pool and jacuzzi, and infinite bars and restaurants within a five-minute walk. If My next-door neighbors (okay, next condo over neighbors) have included Bruce Willis and Rihanna. If I want to head to the Sunset Strip, it's a 10-minute drive or a 20-minute bus ride away. I pay 0 a month in rent, and less than a month in utilities.

In New York, an equivalent privilege would be ,000 a month, and every conversation I ever had would involve **NEW YORK** and how **NEW YORK** my **NEW YORK** is. There would be six dozen homeless men shitting right in front of me as millionaires scoop their calcifying dung off the pavement to hurl at passerbys, and roaches would swarm his hands to feast off the offal. The roaches would then write a Yelp! review about how authentic the experience was, saying this is the only place on earth you can truly suck real shit off the palm of an Emirati oil magnate as he hurls it at a gibbering schizophrenic disemboweling himself yelling I AM SATAN; I AM SATAN without being a total phony.

Maybe, in the best case scenario, you'll go to a restaurant called "Eat" or "Food" or "Shit", where you pay for a plate of authentic roach shit sucked right off the turd-encrusted hands of a truly deplorable bag of filth, and be insulted over Twitter because you didn't name the cross-streets in your GrubHub review, because really what are we some kind of savage?

Fuck New York and fuck every person who has ever defended the "life" there. No one in New York is alive. They're all dead. They're just too fucking dumb to know it.

Sexy Duck Cop
Baleen: There is something more romantic than what you described and it's called being in a real park, not some artificially demarcated rectangular ecological quarantine zone, with someone you love. You know, like what real people all over the country can experience all the time without paying an exorbitant premium for the phony pleasure of saying you're in ***THE CENTRAL PARK***.

Central Park is a monument to what a joyless, pretentious shithole New York is that they consider such a hideous, bland, generic looking park qualifies as anything noteworthy. New Yorkers are so starved for anything beyond row aftet row of boxy skyscrapers they think a patch of grass is something to get excited over.

baleen
0 a month, to live by yourself, in LA? Are you Michael Ovitz's towel boy or something? That's insane.

baleen
In all seriousness, your description of New York made me laugh, and much of it is quite true.

Nevertheless, I love the city and its history.

Potrod
As someone from New York (OOH LOOK AT ME) I'm amused by the absurd vitriol it's somehow managed to inspire. It's a city. You can get decent pizza at 3 AM and the subway runs 24 hours. There are good people and bad people. I like it.

Oscar Wildcat
Like Baleen, I also chuckled at your description of NYC Ducks. But seriously, you're going to hold up the counterexample of LA?!?!? Please, bitch. Just. Please.

Also, v/ skeptical of your 600USD month claim as well. Were the last occupants murdered in some unspeakable fashion? Something is very wrong there.

SteamPoweredKleenex
As someone from the Midwest, I find it amusing that someone living in LA is annoyed by people talking nonstop about New York, since LA and New York are most of what the rest of the nation is bombarded with in movies, TV, video games, etc.

Both cities need to lose that whole "we're the center of the universe" thing they wear like a pimp suit.

baleen
The thing is, both places are filled with people from the Midwest.

New York and LA (which is secondary to New York) didn't ask to be the centers of the universe. The prettiest girl in every town moves to these places to make it. The smartest people think that have what it takes to be the next thing in these places.

It's not a strike against how awesome Madison is, it's just the way that it is. People with great ambition try their hand at greatness in great cities. Yes, it's possible to succeed anywhere now with the internet, but everyone of a creative bent feels somehow like they missed out if they never at least try. And so they should! You SHOULD fucking try, and you should should fail, and then you should try again.

Many move from New York and go to Detroit, because that's where you can be an artist for cheap, and that's fine. But they tried New York (or LA, if they're frail weaklings). It wasn't too expensive or intimidating, they jumped in the fire.

Hooker
Everyone. There are no creative people that haven't lived in Los Angeles or new York.

The Mothership
What they beatin' at night?
kingarthur
This is glorious.
Albuquerque Halsey
https://www.facebook.com/troyrestaurant/photos_stream

that actually looks. . .pretty tasty.
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